five.
“Let’s stop at the house,” said Donny. “Get some jars for the crayfish and a Thermos of Kool-Aid.”
We went in through the back door and you could hear the washing machine going in the basement.
“Donny? That you?”
“Yeah, Ma.”
He turned to Meg. “Get the Kool-Aid, will ya? I’ll go down after the jars and see what she wants.”
I sat with Willie and Denise at the kitchen table. There were toast crumbs on it and I brushed them onto the floor. There was also an ashtray crammed with cigarette butts. I looked through the butts but there was nothing big enough to crib for later.
Meg had the Thermos out and was carefully pouring lime Kool-Aid into it from Ruth’s big pitcher when they came upstairs.
Willie had two peanut butter jars and a stack of tin cans with him. Ruth was wiping her hands on her faded apron. She smiled at us and then looked over at Meg in the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” she said.
“Just pouring out some Kool-Aid.”
She dug into the pocket of her apron and took out a pack of Tareytons and lit one.
“Thought I said stay out of the kitchen.”
“Donny wanted some Kool-Aid. It was Donny’s idea.”
“I don’t care whose idea it was.”
She blew out some smoke and started coughing. It was a bad cough, right up from the lungs, and she couldn’t even talk for a moment.
“It’s only Kool-Aid,” said Meg. “I’m not eating.” Ruth nodded. “Question is,” she said, taking another drag of the cigarette, “question is, what did you sneak before I got here?”
Meg finished pouring and put down the pitcher. “Nothing,” she sighed. “I didn’t sneak anything.”
Ruth nodded again. “Come here,” she said.
Meg just stood there.
“I said come over here.”
She walked over.
“Open your mouth and let me smell your breath.”
“What?”
Beside me Denise began to giggle.
“Don’t sass me. Open your mouth.”
“Ruth...”
“Open it.”
“No!”
“What’s that? What’d you say?”
“You don’t have any right to ...”
“I got all the right in the world. Open it.”
“No!”
“I said open it, liar.”
“I’m not a liar.”
“Well I know you’re a slut so I guess you’re a liar too. Open it!”
“No.”
“Open your mouth!”
“No!”
“I’m telling you to.”
“I won’t.”
“Oh yes you will. If I have to get these boys to pry it open you will.”
Willie snorted, laughing. Donny was still standing in the doorway holding the cans and jars. He looked embarrassed.
“Open your mouth, slut.”
That made Denise giggle again.
Meg looked Ruth straight in the eye. She took a breath.
And for a moment she suddenly managed an adult, almost stunning dignity.
“I told you, Ruth,” she said. “I said no.”
Even Denise shut up then.
We were astonished.
We’d never seen anything like it before.
Kids were powerless. Almost by definition. Kids were supposed to endure humiliation, or run away from it. If you protested, it had to be oblique. You ran into your room and slammed the door. You screamed and yelled. You brooded through dinner. You acted out—or broke things accidentally on purpose. You were sullen, silent. You screwed up in school. And that was about it. All the guns in your arsenal. But what you did not do was you did not stand up to an adult and say go fuck yourself in so many words. You did not simply stand there and calmly say no. We were still too young for that. So that now it was pretty amazing.
Ruth smiled and stubbed out her cigarette in the cluttered ashtray.
“I guess I’ll go get Susan,” she said. “I expect she’s in her room.”
And then it was her turn to stare Meg down.
It lasted a moment, the two of them facing off like gunfighters.
Then Meg’s composure shattered.
“You leave my sister out of this! You leave her alone!”
Her hands were balled up into fists, white at the knuckles. And I knew that she knew, then, about the beating the other day.
I wondered if there had been
“Let’s stop at the house,” said Donny. “Get some jars for the crayfish and a Thermos of Kool-Aid.”
We went in through the back door and you could hear the washing machine going in the basement.
“Donny? That you?”
“Yeah, Ma.”
He turned to Meg. “Get the Kool-Aid, will ya? I’ll go down after the jars and see what she wants.”
I sat with Willie and Denise at the kitchen table. There were toast crumbs on it and I brushed them onto the floor. There was also an ashtray crammed with cigarette butts. I looked through the butts but there was nothing big enough to crib for later.
Meg had the Thermos out and was carefully pouring lime Kool-Aid into it from Ruth’s big pitcher when they came upstairs.
Willie had two peanut butter jars and a stack of tin cans with him. Ruth was wiping her hands on her faded apron. She smiled at us and then looked over at Meg in the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” she said.
“Just pouring out some Kool-Aid.”
She dug into the pocket of her apron and took out a pack of Tareytons and lit one.
“Thought I said stay out of the kitchen.”
“Donny wanted some Kool-Aid. It was Donny’s idea.”
“I don’t care whose idea it was.”
She blew out some smoke and started coughing. It was a bad cough, right up from the lungs, and she couldn’t even talk for a moment.
“It’s only Kool-Aid,” said Meg. “I’m not eating.” Ruth nodded. “Question is,” she said, taking another drag of the cigarette, “question is, what did you sneak before I got here?”
Meg finished pouring and put down the pitcher. “Nothing,” she sighed. “I didn’t sneak anything.”
Ruth nodded again. “Come here,” she said.
Meg just stood there.
“I said come over here.”
She walked over.
“Open your mouth and let me smell your breath.”
“What?”
Beside me Denise began to giggle.
“Don’t sass me. Open your mouth.”
“Ruth...”
“Open it.”
“No!”
“What’s that? What’d you say?”
“You don’t have any right to ...”
“I got all the right in the world. Open it.”
“No!”
“I said open it, liar.”
“I’m not a liar.”
“Well I know you’re a slut so I guess you’re a liar too. Open it!”
“No.”
“Open your mouth!”
“No!”
“I’m telling you to.”
“I won’t.”
“Oh yes you will. If I have to get these boys to pry it open you will.”
Willie snorted, laughing. Donny was still standing in the doorway holding the cans and jars. He looked embarrassed.
“Open your mouth, slut.”
That made Denise giggle again.
Meg looked Ruth straight in the eye. She took a breath.
And for a moment she suddenly managed an adult, almost stunning dignity.
“I told you, Ruth,” she said. “I said no.”
Even Denise shut up then.
We were astonished.
We’d never seen anything like it before.
Kids were powerless. Almost by definition. Kids were supposed to endure humiliation, or run away from it. If you protested, it had to be oblique. You ran into your room and slammed the door. You screamed and yelled. You brooded through dinner. You acted out—or broke things accidentally on purpose. You were sullen, silent. You screwed up in school. And that was about it. All the guns in your arsenal. But what you did not do was you did not stand up to an adult and say go fuck yourself in so many words. You did not simply stand there and calmly say no. We were still too young for that. So that now it was pretty amazing.
Ruth smiled and stubbed out her cigarette in the cluttered ashtray.
“I guess I’ll go get Susan,” she said. “I expect she’s in her room.”
And then it was her turn to stare Meg down.
It lasted a moment, the two of them facing off like gunfighters.
Then Meg’s composure shattered.
“You leave my sister out of this! You leave her alone!”
Her hands were balled up into fists, white at the knuckles. And I knew that she knew, then, about the beating the other day.
I wondered if there had been
Similar Books
