was right about one
thing during his incredibly invasive chat in the driveway. Neil and I both know
what we’re doing, together and separately, and are getting it right. It’s past
time to dropkick the sort of from my thought processes, speech and life.
Jesus Christ, Alan is recording a song by me. You
can’t get any more official as a songwriter than that. Then the voice inside my
head, that one I can never shut off completely, reminds me that I may be making
this more significant than I should, that this might just be a kind gesture on
Alan’s part, that my song might suck, and his recording it might end up a
pathetically obvious I did this for a girl I used to fuck thing.
Oh God, I hope it’s not that.
I search through the house for either Maria or
Jack. I go first to the back wall of glass in the kitchen. Jack is sitting at a
table sipping coffee.
I open the French door. “Hi, Daddy.”
Jack springs to his feet and crosses the patio to
me, smiling. “Hey, you two. My day just got brighter.” He leans into the
carrier, kisses Kaley, and then takes the car seat from me. “You got time for a
cup of coffee?”
I shrug. “Sure.”
I put down Kaley’s bag and settle in a chair
across from Jack. He pours me a cup and hands it to me.
“I was really surprised when you called this
morning. I was wondering how long you’d stay up there alone with a baby before
you went stir-crazy.” He looks up from making faces at Kaley. “So where are you
off to?”
“Just stuff and junk, Daddy.”
He leans back in his chair, his eyes twinkling.
“Whatever it is I’m glad you called. I’m glad to get a little time with my
favorite girl.”
I give him a pout. “I thought I was your favorite
girl.”
Jack reaches for his coffee. “That goes without
saying.”
Now that I’m here, about to leave Kaley, I’m
starting to feel frantic and unsure. Not that I wasn’t already feeling that
way. Only now I’ve got the why am I going messy rolling with the maternal messy.
I stare at them, gnawing my lower lip. “Are you
sure you can handle her all day?”
He gives me the are you joking face. “You
don’t think I know how to take care of a baby? Who do you think raised you?”
He’s right. That was lame. Still… “Maria,” I
tease.
Jack shakes his head. “Maria will be here all
day. I’m not flying solo, if that helps you any.”
I smile. “It helps enormously. I’ve packed
everything she needs. You can reach me on my mobile phone. I should be back
before six.”
“Go. Have fun. Don’t worry about us.” He runs his
finger along Kaley’s dainty chin. “We’re going to be fine, aren’t we, Kaley?”
I lift her from the car seat, kiss her and then
cuddle her up against me. “Be good for Grandpa.”
Jack grimaces. “I’m never going to get used to
hearing that one.”
Laughing, I put Kaley into his outstretched arms.
As I straighten up his eyes sharpen on my face.
“Are you going to tell me where you’re going?”
I flush. “I told you.”
“Chrissie, you used to use the same excuse when
you were young when you didn’t want me to know what you were up to.” He shakes
his head. “Stuff and junk?”
My face darkens to crimson.
“Very funny, Daddy. Ha, ha.” I drop a kiss on his
cheek. “I’m twenty-four years old. I am married. I have a daughter. Don’t you
think it’s time to stop giving me the parental treatment?”
He reaches for his coffee and studies me over the
rim. “Nope. Got to keep my skills sharp for this one,” he says, nodding his
head toward Kaley.
I make a face at him. Jack was only teasing me.
God, why does he have to do that? It’s an emotionally taxing day without a dose
of Chrissie ribbing.
Leaving Kaley for the first time…not discussing
with Neil about being with Alan at the recording session…seeing Alan…shit, I
wish I didn’t feel so guilty and anxious about everything.
I head for the door.
CHAPTER NINE
I
roll to a stop in a driveway outside a
thing during his incredibly invasive chat in the driveway. Neil and I both know
what we’re doing, together and separately, and are getting it right. It’s past
time to dropkick the sort of from my thought processes, speech and life.
Jesus Christ, Alan is recording a song by me. You
can’t get any more official as a songwriter than that. Then the voice inside my
head, that one I can never shut off completely, reminds me that I may be making
this more significant than I should, that this might just be a kind gesture on
Alan’s part, that my song might suck, and his recording it might end up a
pathetically obvious I did this for a girl I used to fuck thing.
Oh God, I hope it’s not that.
I search through the house for either Maria or
Jack. I go first to the back wall of glass in the kitchen. Jack is sitting at a
table sipping coffee.
I open the French door. “Hi, Daddy.”
Jack springs to his feet and crosses the patio to
me, smiling. “Hey, you two. My day just got brighter.” He leans into the
carrier, kisses Kaley, and then takes the car seat from me. “You got time for a
cup of coffee?”
I shrug. “Sure.”
I put down Kaley’s bag and settle in a chair
across from Jack. He pours me a cup and hands it to me.
“I was really surprised when you called this
morning. I was wondering how long you’d stay up there alone with a baby before
you went stir-crazy.” He looks up from making faces at Kaley. “So where are you
off to?”
“Just stuff and junk, Daddy.”
He leans back in his chair, his eyes twinkling.
“Whatever it is I’m glad you called. I’m glad to get a little time with my
favorite girl.”
I give him a pout. “I thought I was your favorite
girl.”
Jack reaches for his coffee. “That goes without
saying.”
Now that I’m here, about to leave Kaley, I’m
starting to feel frantic and unsure. Not that I wasn’t already feeling that
way. Only now I’ve got the why am I going messy rolling with the maternal messy.
I stare at them, gnawing my lower lip. “Are you
sure you can handle her all day?”
He gives me the are you joking face. “You
don’t think I know how to take care of a baby? Who do you think raised you?”
He’s right. That was lame. Still… “Maria,” I
tease.
Jack shakes his head. “Maria will be here all
day. I’m not flying solo, if that helps you any.”
I smile. “It helps enormously. I’ve packed
everything she needs. You can reach me on my mobile phone. I should be back
before six.”
“Go. Have fun. Don’t worry about us.” He runs his
finger along Kaley’s dainty chin. “We’re going to be fine, aren’t we, Kaley?”
I lift her from the car seat, kiss her and then
cuddle her up against me. “Be good for Grandpa.”
Jack grimaces. “I’m never going to get used to
hearing that one.”
Laughing, I put Kaley into his outstretched arms.
As I straighten up his eyes sharpen on my face.
“Are you going to tell me where you’re going?”
I flush. “I told you.”
“Chrissie, you used to use the same excuse when
you were young when you didn’t want me to know what you were up to.” He shakes
his head. “Stuff and junk?”
My face darkens to crimson.
“Very funny, Daddy. Ha, ha.” I drop a kiss on his
cheek. “I’m twenty-four years old. I am married. I have a daughter. Don’t you
think it’s time to stop giving me the parental treatment?”
He reaches for his coffee and studies me over the
rim. “Nope. Got to keep my skills sharp for this one,” he says, nodding his
head toward Kaley.
I make a face at him. Jack was only teasing me.
God, why does he have to do that? It’s an emotionally taxing day without a dose
of Chrissie ribbing.
Leaving Kaley for the first time…not discussing
with Neil about being with Alan at the recording session…seeing Alan…shit, I
wish I didn’t feel so guilty and anxious about everything.
I head for the door.
CHAPTER NINE
I
roll to a stop in a driveway outside a
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