was not as if he despised his wife and, in despising her, sought a more loving pair of arms, bought or offered gratis. Ashton did not despise Lutetia; he loved her. It was like loving a piece of fragile chinaware, the slightest jar to which would crack it. He had been responsible for cracking the delicate image, and he must be feeling the same sort of shame and guilt as if, in fact, he had been contemptuous of it.
Dane went to see his father. The elder McKell looked like a hollow reproduction of himselfâas if he had had his stuffing scooped out. Dane could hardly bear to look at him.
Ashton asked, in tones softer than Dane could remember, âSon, how are you? How is your mother?â
âWeâre fine. The question is, Dad, how are you?â
âThis is all a dream, and Iâll soon wake up. But then I know Iâm awakeâthat the past was the dream. Itâs something like that, son.â
They chatted awkwardly for a while, about Lutetia chiefly, how she was reacting to her overturned world. Finally Dane got around to the object of his visit. âDad, I want you to tell me all about that nightâwhat you did, where you went. In detail. Just as you told the police.â
âIf you want me to, Dane.â The elder man considered for a moment, sighing. âI got to the penthouse just before ten oâclockâthe cab was held up by an accident on the highway, or it would have been sooner. The traffic from the airport isnât very heavy at that hour.â
About ten oâclock. It would have been mere minutes after he himself had left her alive in the penthouse.
âI didnât stay long. She was terribly upset. By what she wouldnât say.â
Dane bent over the pad, on which he was taking notes, to cover his wince. âHow long were you there, Dad? As exactly as you can recall.â
âShe asked me to leave almost at once, so I did. I couldnât have been there more than several minutes. Iâd say I left at 10:03 at the latest.â
âWhere did you go from there?â
Ashton said quietly, âI was rather upset myself. I walked.â
âWhere? For how long?â And why didnât I ask him why he was upset? Dane thought. Because I know, thatâs why â¦
âI just donât remember. It couldnât have been too long, I suppose. I do remember being in a barââ
âWhat bar?â
âI donât know. I had a drink and talked to the bartender, I remember that.â
âYouâre sure you donât know where the bar is?â
âNot even approximately, although for some reason First Avenue sticks in my head. But I canât honestly say it was there. Somewhere in the SixtiesâI think. A side street, I seem to recall that, anyway. I was simply not paying any attention to things like that.â A ghost of a smile touched the rocky face. âI certainly wish now that I had.â
âAnd you didnât notice the name of the bar?â
âOr Iâve forgotten. You know, a lot of those little places have no names. Just Bar. â
âHave you an idea how long you were in there?â
âQuite a while. More than a few minutes. I do remember leaving the place and walking some more. Finally I took a cabââ
âI donât suppose you remember the cabbieâs name or number.â
âGod, no. Or when, or where, or what street I got out at. I remember getting out some blocks short of home because I suddenly wanted air. I walked the rest of the way.â
âAnd you canât even recall what time it was when you got home?â
âI havenât the foggiest idea, Dane.â Dane knew that his mother did not know, either, for she had told him, âI didnât know your father was home until early morning, when I woke up.â
âIâm afraid, son, the information isnât of any use.â
Dane wanted to talk about his fatherâs having
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