our
shining star and everyone who knew her and her sunny spirit reveled in it and
called themselves lucky to know her.
Unfortunately for me, on this
particular evening, the sunny spirit was hiding behind the complete
exasperation in her expression.
“What?! It’s just not a good idea.
But believe me, I comprehend the sheer hotness of that man even more than you
do. I swear there was a moment when he was kissing me that I thought I’d
forgotten to put on underwear this
morning.”
She
gave me a puzzled look. We both knew I was no commando girl. Not with my
generous booty.
“But
of course I’d remembered – they had just spontaneously combusted under the
force of his testosterone. Holy hell, he was that good!” I fanned myself at the
memory.
We
both giggled like idiots.
“Where
are Rocco and Gavin?” she asked after we settled down.
“They
went to the batting cages with Brett.”
“Aww.
That’s actually really sweet.”
Sometimes
I forgot to appreciate the time Gavin spent with Rocco and the experiences he
provided that a dad should be doing. It was definitely time to lighten up on
him.
“Yeah,
unfortunately Rocco has a pretty un-athletic mother and a musician for a father
so Gavin’s dreams of living through Rocco may be dashed early on,” I said.
Not
to be deterred from the main topic of the evening, Fiona persisted, “So you’re
really not going to go out with Nate?”
“Ugh.
Believe me, I’m totally tempted, but what happens when we get in a fight and
Gavin gets stuck in the middle? Or, more likely, what happens when Rocco and I
both fall in love with him and he takes off for his next adventure? Because he
will, you know. As soon as his dad is back on his feet, he’s gone. I can’t do
that to any of us. And even if, by some miracle, he decided to stay, why would
he want to saddle himself with a single mom and a kid? I’m sure he’s just
looking for a fun distraction to pass the time and I’m not up for that.” The
feeling of sadness that overtook me was disproportionate to the brief
involvement I’d had with Nate to this point. I could already feel myself
getting in over my head and we’d only shared one kiss. One earth-shattering
kiss, but still.
“But
you deserve an awesome guy and a hot sexy love life, Laney! Every guy I suggest
is all wrong – he’s too short, he has a weird accent, he wears a fedora, he
sweats too much – whatever! I can’t sit around here and watch you spend
another Saturday night watching The Mentalist on Hulu and fantasizing
about Simon Baker – he’s too old for you anyway. You need a real live date with
a real live penis - your penis fly trap needs a snack! No offense.”
Oh
my, it seems Fiona brought the big guns out tonight. “Wow, don’t hold back on
my account. First of all, did you stop by a bar for a shot or seven of vodka on
your way here? Second, you seem to have forgotten that one of the guys you
tried to set me up with was eighteen years old – his voice hadn’t even changed
yet. Enough said.”
Ready
for her rebuttal I thrust a hand out and intercepted it. “But, as it so
happens, dear Fiona, Annette is setting me up on a date with someone this week.
He fits all of your criteria and he even has a child of his own. I didn’t
specifically ask if he has a real live penis but I’m assuming that’s a given.
I’m expecting his call and, barring a disastrous initial phone call, I plan to
accept. So there!”
She
beamed back at me and I couldn’t help but be a little happy that I’d put a
smile on her face. “Well, if it can’t be hot construction dude, I guess we can
give this other guy a chance at snack time. Now, where’s the wine?”
***
My
phone buzzed with a text.
Nate: I got an in at Hops and can skip the line. Just name the night.
By the way, when did that place become such a madhouse? It’s still just a
burger joint, right?
Laney: I know! Ever since it got listed as “Best Burger” on some list
you can’t get in
shining star and everyone who knew her and her sunny spirit reveled in it and
called themselves lucky to know her.
Unfortunately for me, on this
particular evening, the sunny spirit was hiding behind the complete
exasperation in her expression.
“What?! It’s just not a good idea.
But believe me, I comprehend the sheer hotness of that man even more than you
do. I swear there was a moment when he was kissing me that I thought I’d
forgotten to put on underwear this
morning.”
She
gave me a puzzled look. We both knew I was no commando girl. Not with my
generous booty.
“But
of course I’d remembered – they had just spontaneously combusted under the
force of his testosterone. Holy hell, he was that good!” I fanned myself at the
memory.
We
both giggled like idiots.
“Where
are Rocco and Gavin?” she asked after we settled down.
“They
went to the batting cages with Brett.”
“Aww.
That’s actually really sweet.”
Sometimes
I forgot to appreciate the time Gavin spent with Rocco and the experiences he
provided that a dad should be doing. It was definitely time to lighten up on
him.
“Yeah,
unfortunately Rocco has a pretty un-athletic mother and a musician for a father
so Gavin’s dreams of living through Rocco may be dashed early on,” I said.
Not
to be deterred from the main topic of the evening, Fiona persisted, “So you’re
really not going to go out with Nate?”
“Ugh.
Believe me, I’m totally tempted, but what happens when we get in a fight and
Gavin gets stuck in the middle? Or, more likely, what happens when Rocco and I
both fall in love with him and he takes off for his next adventure? Because he
will, you know. As soon as his dad is back on his feet, he’s gone. I can’t do
that to any of us. And even if, by some miracle, he decided to stay, why would
he want to saddle himself with a single mom and a kid? I’m sure he’s just
looking for a fun distraction to pass the time and I’m not up for that.” The
feeling of sadness that overtook me was disproportionate to the brief
involvement I’d had with Nate to this point. I could already feel myself
getting in over my head and we’d only shared one kiss. One earth-shattering
kiss, but still.
“But
you deserve an awesome guy and a hot sexy love life, Laney! Every guy I suggest
is all wrong – he’s too short, he has a weird accent, he wears a fedora, he
sweats too much – whatever! I can’t sit around here and watch you spend
another Saturday night watching The Mentalist on Hulu and fantasizing
about Simon Baker – he’s too old for you anyway. You need a real live date with
a real live penis - your penis fly trap needs a snack! No offense.”
Oh
my, it seems Fiona brought the big guns out tonight. “Wow, don’t hold back on
my account. First of all, did you stop by a bar for a shot or seven of vodka on
your way here? Second, you seem to have forgotten that one of the guys you
tried to set me up with was eighteen years old – his voice hadn’t even changed
yet. Enough said.”
Ready
for her rebuttal I thrust a hand out and intercepted it. “But, as it so
happens, dear Fiona, Annette is setting me up on a date with someone this week.
He fits all of your criteria and he even has a child of his own. I didn’t
specifically ask if he has a real live penis but I’m assuming that’s a given.
I’m expecting his call and, barring a disastrous initial phone call, I plan to
accept. So there!”
She
beamed back at me and I couldn’t help but be a little happy that I’d put a
smile on her face. “Well, if it can’t be hot construction dude, I guess we can
give this other guy a chance at snack time. Now, where’s the wine?”
***
My
phone buzzed with a text.
Nate: I got an in at Hops and can skip the line. Just name the night.
By the way, when did that place become such a madhouse? It’s still just a
burger joint, right?
Laney: I know! Ever since it got listed as “Best Burger” on some list
you can’t get in
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