time Tina put a sympathetic hand on my arm. ‘We’ll find out the answers, Sean. It might take some time but we’ll get there. I’ve got the licences you took from your sister and your nurse, and they’ve given me something to go on. The info I’ve printed off for you might help too. It doesn’t give you a full picture of your life, or your career, by any means. A lot of what happened to you, particularly where your path crossed with mine, was kept out of the public domain, but again, it’s a start.’
I looked down at the dozen or so sheets of A4 paper I was holding, and wondered whether anything in there would drag back memories from the abyss, and whether I actually wanted them to.
The lights turned green and we made a turn before pulling up beside a very modern high-rise building with funky blue windows.
Tina pulled up on the road outside where a big red sign said Accident and Emergency. ‘OK, this is St Mary’s Hospital A and E. You go up the pedestrian walkway and it’s on the right.’
Now that it came to it, I didn’t want to leave her. ‘What if they take my phone and I can’t get hold of you?’ I said, not liking the edge of panic in my voice. ‘Look, I don’t want to sound needy, Tina, or weak, but right now … right now, I have no one except you.’ I felt a well of emotion building in me as I spoke the words, and I actually thought that – God forbid – I was going to cry. I hadn’t cried at all during my time at Jane’s; I think the drugs they’d been feeding me had put paid to any emotional outbursts. But now I was having to use every ounce of my willpower to hold back the tears. ‘You can’t imagine what it’s like being me. This city; these streets; this hospital. They all scare the hell out of me.’
‘I can’t pretend to know what you’re feeling, Sean, and I can only imagine how horrible it must be having no memory, but St Mary’s is a world-class hospital and the people here will be able to help you.’
I knew she was right, and that begging to stay with her wasn’t going to help. The well of emotion receded as quickly as it had appeared. ‘Sure, OK. But please keep in contact.’
I started to get out of the car but Tina put a hand on my arm again. ‘Wait.’ She reached into the glove compartment and took something out of what looked like a jewellery box. ‘Take this, but keep it hidden.’ She handed me a small plastic coin-shaped object.
I inspected it. ‘What is it?’
‘It’s a miniature tracking device. It means I can find out your exact location to the nearest five metres wherever you are, so if you lose the phone, or it gets taken away, I can still find you.’
‘Jesus,’ I said. ‘That’s impressive.’ Which it was.
‘And it’s an expensive piece of kit too, so don’t lose it. The battery life’s only forty-eight hours, so after that time we’ll have to work out what to do, but hopefully things will have settled by then.’
I leaned down and slipped it into my sock, figuring that was as inconspicuous a place as any. ‘Thanks, Tina. I really appreciate this.’
She looked at me but didn’t smile. ‘Don’t let me down, Sean.’
I nodded, and stepped out into the rain.
Thirteen
Tina’s next appointment was with Sheryl Warner, the girl who’d rung earlier in the day to talk about Alan Donaldson’s daughter, Lauren, having seen the piece in the Mail. It seemed the two of them had been friends, and after a short conversation with her, Tina had decided that she was well worth visiting.
On the drive to her house, she thought about Sean Egan. The problem was she couldn’t make up her mind about him. She was almost certain he wasn’t lying about what had happened to him (although the dream in which he’d described Lauren appearing seemed too coincidental), and he’d never struck her as the kind of man who’d rape a woman. But Tina had learned from her long career in the police that seemingly charming, balanced people were capable of
I looked down at the dozen or so sheets of A4 paper I was holding, and wondered whether anything in there would drag back memories from the abyss, and whether I actually wanted them to.
The lights turned green and we made a turn before pulling up beside a very modern high-rise building with funky blue windows.
Tina pulled up on the road outside where a big red sign said Accident and Emergency. ‘OK, this is St Mary’s Hospital A and E. You go up the pedestrian walkway and it’s on the right.’
Now that it came to it, I didn’t want to leave her. ‘What if they take my phone and I can’t get hold of you?’ I said, not liking the edge of panic in my voice. ‘Look, I don’t want to sound needy, Tina, or weak, but right now … right now, I have no one except you.’ I felt a well of emotion building in me as I spoke the words, and I actually thought that – God forbid – I was going to cry. I hadn’t cried at all during my time at Jane’s; I think the drugs they’d been feeding me had put paid to any emotional outbursts. But now I was having to use every ounce of my willpower to hold back the tears. ‘You can’t imagine what it’s like being me. This city; these streets; this hospital. They all scare the hell out of me.’
‘I can’t pretend to know what you’re feeling, Sean, and I can only imagine how horrible it must be having no memory, but St Mary’s is a world-class hospital and the people here will be able to help you.’
I knew she was right, and that begging to stay with her wasn’t going to help. The well of emotion receded as quickly as it had appeared. ‘Sure, OK. But please keep in contact.’
I started to get out of the car but Tina put a hand on my arm again. ‘Wait.’ She reached into the glove compartment and took something out of what looked like a jewellery box. ‘Take this, but keep it hidden.’ She handed me a small plastic coin-shaped object.
I inspected it. ‘What is it?’
‘It’s a miniature tracking device. It means I can find out your exact location to the nearest five metres wherever you are, so if you lose the phone, or it gets taken away, I can still find you.’
‘Jesus,’ I said. ‘That’s impressive.’ Which it was.
‘And it’s an expensive piece of kit too, so don’t lose it. The battery life’s only forty-eight hours, so after that time we’ll have to work out what to do, but hopefully things will have settled by then.’
I leaned down and slipped it into my sock, figuring that was as inconspicuous a place as any. ‘Thanks, Tina. I really appreciate this.’
She looked at me but didn’t smile. ‘Don’t let me down, Sean.’
I nodded, and stepped out into the rain.
Thirteen
Tina’s next appointment was with Sheryl Warner, the girl who’d rung earlier in the day to talk about Alan Donaldson’s daughter, Lauren, having seen the piece in the Mail. It seemed the two of them had been friends, and after a short conversation with her, Tina had decided that she was well worth visiting.
On the drive to her house, she thought about Sean Egan. The problem was she couldn’t make up her mind about him. She was almost certain he wasn’t lying about what had happened to him (although the dream in which he’d described Lauren appearing seemed too coincidental), and he’d never struck her as the kind of man who’d rape a woman. But Tina had learned from her long career in the police that seemingly charming, balanced people were capable of
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