The Feud
Picturing Stan’s face when he’d hit that bend, Eddie had to hold his bollocks to stop himself pissing on the seat. With his hand still clutched around his privates, Eddie walked towards the house. Unable to keep a straight face, he tried to think of something else.
    ‘Dad feels ill – did you have to drive like a nutcase? He’s just brought all his dinner up,’ Jessica said angrily.
    ‘Gotta go a loo,’ Eddie said, running upstairs. Locking the bathroom door, Eddie put his hand over his mouth. Stanley spewing his guts up had tipped him over the edge and, instead of just having the giggles, he was now on the verge of hysterics.
    ‘Can we have our toys now?’ Frankie asked impatiently.
    ‘Grandad will give them to you,’ Joyce said, handing them to her husband as he walked back into the room. Poor Stanley looked so ill, she wanted to lighten him up a bit. Remembering that he’d earlier jolted the car and nearly broken her neck, she quickly snatched them back from him.
    ‘Nanny chose them so, on second thoughts, Nanny should give them to you,’ she told the twins.
    Having managed finally to compose himself, Eddie nodded to Raymond to follow him outside. ‘Do you wanna cigar?’ he asked him.
    Raymond shook his head. ‘No thanks, I’ll have a fag.’
    Staring at Raymond, Eddie put both hands on his shoulders and spoke in earnest. ‘When I first gave you a job, Ray, I sort of did it for Jessica’s sake. You were just a kid, her little brother, and I must admit, although I liked you, I had me doubts. Over the years you’ve proved me wrong. You’ve been honest, loyal, a real top-class employee. The thing is, Raymond, you’re not a boy any more, you’re now a man and that is why I want to offer you a handshake, a proper in.’
    Raymond nodded. He’d learned to understand Eddie’s lingo over the years and he knew exactly where the conversation was going.
    Eddie smiled at him. ‘My Uncle Reg is on the verge of retiring. We need another pair of hands and I want you to join the family properly. You’re gonna be working with me, Paulie and Ronny. You’re no fool, you know the set-up. What’s your opinion on that?’
    Unbeknown to Eddie, Raymond had been waiting for this moment for a long time. Unable to control his emotions, he grabbed the big man and hugged him.
    ‘I’m honoured, Eddie, and I promise you faithfully that I will do you proud.’
    Laughing, Eddie pushed him away and squared up to him. ‘You’d better do me proud,’ he said, as he lunged into a bit of play-fighting.
    Gently pushing Raymond away, Eddie put his serious head on, once more. ‘You won’t be a gofer. You’ll have a three-month trial, then you’ll be on virtually the same cut as Paulie and Ronny are.’
    Raymond could scarcely believe his luck. He’d prayedfor this day to happen and now it finally had. He could move out of his parents’, buy his own property. If he played his cards right, the world could be his oyster. ‘Thanks, Eddie. I’ll do whatever you ask of me and I truly mean that.’
    Eddie nodded. ‘Good lad. Now, a few ground rules. You don’t say a word to anyone about anything we do. Birds, mates, family – not a soul. If anyone asks, you’re a debt collector.’
    Raymond nodded. He understood perfectly.
    Deep in thought, Eddie tilted his head. ‘I think it’s probably for the best that I lend you some dough and you get your own place. If any shit hits the fan, you don’t want your parents involved, do you?’
    ‘I’ve been wanting to leave home for ages anyway. I think the world of me mum and dad, but they do me head in,’ Raymond said frankly.
    ‘First thing on Monday, Ray, I’m gonna take you out, rent you somewhere and get you kitted out as well. Remember one golden rule: a man is always judged on what he wears. You’ve always got to look the part, wear good clobber. We’ll go up Savile Row and get you a couple of suits from there.’
    ‘Daddy, what are you doing out here? I want you to see

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