for the P.M. A mini clutch is a very small clutch.
Envelope clutch—A longer clutch shaped much like an envelope. (Easy to hail taxis with, bad for also holding shopping bags!)
Evening bags—They tend to be small, often are bejeweled, and may even have a bracelet handle.
The clutch! Look, ma! No straps!
Messenger bags—Bags with a long strap that crosses the chest diagonally so that the roomy pouch sits at the hips. Named after bike messengers who carry this style to transport packages.
Oversize—Whether it’s a tote, a doctor bag, a bowling bag, or just a large hobo, you need one extra-large bag to trundle all your stuff in.
Doctor—The classic doctor bag is a great sturdy shape for everyday use.
Tote—A utilitarian bag with an open top, two handles, and a square pouch usually large enough to hold a few magazines, running shoes, a sweater, a small umbrella, a notebook, and all of your necessities. Similar to the shape of a shopping bag.
The man purse—Any kind of bag a man holds. Typically, older, graying Euro-trash carry clutches (yeesh!) and urban hipsters go with messenger styles. Note: Straight men should never have a Prada bag.
The beloved Balenciaga motorcycle bag.
Designer—You can have as many knockoffs and fakes as you please, but all fashionistas own at least
one
real, bought-at-the-flagship-store, spent-all-my-money-on-it, superdesigner handbag, even if it meant saving up for years. Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Fendi, Bottega Veneta, Hermès, logoed or unlogoed, it doesn’t matter. Barrel shape, lunchbox style, satchel, or any shape will do. Just make sure to buy one if you haven’t already.
Arf, darling. Arf.
A bag for Jean-Claude—Fashionistas like to carry their little pooches everywhere; hence, it’s very important to find a roomy bag for your pet.
The Contents of the Fashionista Handbag
Cell phone—The smaller the better.
MAC Blot tissue-paper wipes—Cure-all for shiny face.
Kiehl’s lip balm—Chapped lips are the devil’s handiwork!
Credit cards—Keep cash to a minimum.
Orly nail file and nail polish—Carry your own color (and maybe a clear one to stop stocking runs).
Chanel lip gloss and lipstick.
Chanel blush/compact—Important to have a mirror.
Flip-flops—Comfortable shoes to change into.
Designer wallet with many credit cards, ID.
Fabulous sunglasses.
Change purse that doubles as a business-card holder. Karen’s reads “get rich quick” on the front.
Red kabbalah string—You never know when you’ll have to ward off the evil eye.
List of things to do—“Meet Todd at 6:00, Oyster Bar”—the fashionista Palm Pilot.
Croc notebook—For taking down notes at the fashion shows.
Tiffany pen.
Kiehl’s Crème de Corps hand cream.
Ouchless hair bands—Without the icky metal thing.
Crest White Strips—Whiter teeth for the fashionista.
MAC Studio Lights cover-up—great for under-eye concealer.
IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD
The opportunity to add
more
clothing to any outfit is always welcome in the fashionista mind-set; therefore, fashionistas are staunch proponents of headgear. Especially since hats are a difficult accessory to pull off; fashionistas can’t resist a challenge. Some people should never wear hats. They look silly and pretentious. Fashionistas don’t mind looking pretentious (sometimes you can’t help it if you’re a fashionista), but looking silly is fashionista death. Therefore, hats are for varsity-level fashionistas only. If you must indulge, which of course, you must, here are some of the hats that will keep your head warm and your style impeccable.
The Mad Hatter
MELISSA
I saw it in the shop window of Barneys: an oversize black top hat made of velvety mink fur. I fell in love, and walked into the shop in a daze. Sometimes things just come out of the ether and you realize what you’ve been missing all along. For me, it was like that— when I saw it, I knew:
big hat!
My life was missing a big hat! How did I ever get dressed
Envelope clutch—A longer clutch shaped much like an envelope. (Easy to hail taxis with, bad for also holding shopping bags!)
Evening bags—They tend to be small, often are bejeweled, and may even have a bracelet handle.
The clutch! Look, ma! No straps!
Messenger bags—Bags with a long strap that crosses the chest diagonally so that the roomy pouch sits at the hips. Named after bike messengers who carry this style to transport packages.
Oversize—Whether it’s a tote, a doctor bag, a bowling bag, or just a large hobo, you need one extra-large bag to trundle all your stuff in.
Doctor—The classic doctor bag is a great sturdy shape for everyday use.
Tote—A utilitarian bag with an open top, two handles, and a square pouch usually large enough to hold a few magazines, running shoes, a sweater, a small umbrella, a notebook, and all of your necessities. Similar to the shape of a shopping bag.
The man purse—Any kind of bag a man holds. Typically, older, graying Euro-trash carry clutches (yeesh!) and urban hipsters go with messenger styles. Note: Straight men should never have a Prada bag.
The beloved Balenciaga motorcycle bag.
Designer—You can have as many knockoffs and fakes as you please, but all fashionistas own at least
one
real, bought-at-the-flagship-store, spent-all-my-money-on-it, superdesigner handbag, even if it meant saving up for years. Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Fendi, Bottega Veneta, Hermès, logoed or unlogoed, it doesn’t matter. Barrel shape, lunchbox style, satchel, or any shape will do. Just make sure to buy one if you haven’t already.
Arf, darling. Arf.
A bag for Jean-Claude—Fashionistas like to carry their little pooches everywhere; hence, it’s very important to find a roomy bag for your pet.
The Contents of the Fashionista Handbag
Cell phone—The smaller the better.
MAC Blot tissue-paper wipes—Cure-all for shiny face.
Kiehl’s lip balm—Chapped lips are the devil’s handiwork!
Credit cards—Keep cash to a minimum.
Orly nail file and nail polish—Carry your own color (and maybe a clear one to stop stocking runs).
Chanel lip gloss and lipstick.
Chanel blush/compact—Important to have a mirror.
Flip-flops—Comfortable shoes to change into.
Designer wallet with many credit cards, ID.
Fabulous sunglasses.
Change purse that doubles as a business-card holder. Karen’s reads “get rich quick” on the front.
Red kabbalah string—You never know when you’ll have to ward off the evil eye.
List of things to do—“Meet Todd at 6:00, Oyster Bar”—the fashionista Palm Pilot.
Croc notebook—For taking down notes at the fashion shows.
Tiffany pen.
Kiehl’s Crème de Corps hand cream.
Ouchless hair bands—Without the icky metal thing.
Crest White Strips—Whiter teeth for the fashionista.
MAC Studio Lights cover-up—great for under-eye concealer.
IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD
The opportunity to add
more
clothing to any outfit is always welcome in the fashionista mind-set; therefore, fashionistas are staunch proponents of headgear. Especially since hats are a difficult accessory to pull off; fashionistas can’t resist a challenge. Some people should never wear hats. They look silly and pretentious. Fashionistas don’t mind looking pretentious (sometimes you can’t help it if you’re a fashionista), but looking silly is fashionista death. Therefore, hats are for varsity-level fashionistas only. If you must indulge, which of course, you must, here are some of the hats that will keep your head warm and your style impeccable.
The Mad Hatter
MELISSA
I saw it in the shop window of Barneys: an oversize black top hat made of velvety mink fur. I fell in love, and walked into the shop in a daze. Sometimes things just come out of the ether and you realize what you’ve been missing all along. For me, it was like that— when I saw it, I knew:
big hat!
My life was missing a big hat! How did I ever get dressed
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