public knowledge, I want to share it with you: The court should decree that on an appointed day every month, all vassals from ages fourteen to sixty should fast on bread and water, and swear to give His Majesty everything they’d otherwise spend that day on fruit, meat, fish, wine, eggs, and vegetables.
“In twenty years he’ll be out of debt, and the treasury won’t need to borrow a penny. If you add it up, as I’ve done, in Spain there are more than three million people in that age range, not including the sick. None of these can help spending a
real
and a half a day, but let’s limit it to one
real
, which you can’t live on even if you eat only millet. Now, does it seem to you gentlemen that it would be a small thing to have three million
reales
a month, free and clear? Even those fasting would see an advantage, because they would both please heaven and serve the King. For some,fasting might even be conducive to their health. This is my idea in a nutshell, and it could be carried out in the parishes without employing any tax-collectors, who are destroying the republic.”
Everyone laughed at the consultant and his proposal, and he himself laughed at his own nonsense. Me, I marveled to discover that, for the most part, it’s a certain kind of person who dies in a hospital, and similar people come to similar ends.
Scipio
: You have a point, Berganza. Is there more to it?
Berganza
: Just two more things and there’s an end to it, since day seems to be coming.
One night when my master Mahudes was going to beg alms at the house of this city’s mayor, who is a great upstanding gentleman, we found him alone. It struck me that I should take advantage of our privacy to pass along some advice I’d once heard given by an old patient at the hospital, all about how to remedy the notorious condition of vagabond girls. By not entering household service, they fall into evil ways—so evil that hospitals fill up every summer with the profligates who consort with them, an intolerable plague that begs for a quick and effective cure. Anyway, I wanted to say all this to the mayor and I raised my voice, thinking I already had one. But of course, instead of pronouncing some well-reasoned argument, I barked so fast and so loud that I annoyed him, and he ordered his servants to chase me out and beat me senseless. Ah, if only one lackey inparticular had been without his senses. But instead he heard his master’s command, rushed in and grabbed a copper amphora that came to hand, walloping me about the ribs so hard that I bear the scars of those blows yet.
Scipio
: And is this all you’re grousing about, Berganza?
Berganza
: Well, don’t I have a right to complain if it still hurts, as I’ve said, and if I didn’t do anything to deserve this punishment?
Scipio
: Look, Berganza, nobody should meddle where he isn’t welcome, or butt into matters that have nothing to do with him. And you should remember that, no matter how good, the advice of the poor is never taken. The lowly should know better than to try and advise bigshots and know-it-alls. The wisdom of the poor is hard to make out—the shadows of need and misery obscure it, and even if it’s noticed, people write it off as stupid and treat it with contempt.
Berganza
: You’re right, and as a champion meddler, from here on in I’ll follow your advice.
Another night I entered the house of a lady who had in her arms a lapdog so small, she could have hidden it in her bosom. The creature saw me and jumped from its mistress’s arms, chasing me with a great barking fury, and didn’t stop till it bit me in the leg. I turned around and marveled at it, with anger and not a little respect, muttering, “If I were to catch you in the street, youwretched little beast, I’d either ignore you completely or tear you to pieces.” It struck me that even lily-livered cowards are brave and reckless while in favor, and they have no scruples about offending their betters.
Scipio
:
“In twenty years he’ll be out of debt, and the treasury won’t need to borrow a penny. If you add it up, as I’ve done, in Spain there are more than three million people in that age range, not including the sick. None of these can help spending a
real
and a half a day, but let’s limit it to one
real
, which you can’t live on even if you eat only millet. Now, does it seem to you gentlemen that it would be a small thing to have three million
reales
a month, free and clear? Even those fasting would see an advantage, because they would both please heaven and serve the King. For some,fasting might even be conducive to their health. This is my idea in a nutshell, and it could be carried out in the parishes without employing any tax-collectors, who are destroying the republic.”
Everyone laughed at the consultant and his proposal, and he himself laughed at his own nonsense. Me, I marveled to discover that, for the most part, it’s a certain kind of person who dies in a hospital, and similar people come to similar ends.
Scipio
: You have a point, Berganza. Is there more to it?
Berganza
: Just two more things and there’s an end to it, since day seems to be coming.
One night when my master Mahudes was going to beg alms at the house of this city’s mayor, who is a great upstanding gentleman, we found him alone. It struck me that I should take advantage of our privacy to pass along some advice I’d once heard given by an old patient at the hospital, all about how to remedy the notorious condition of vagabond girls. By not entering household service, they fall into evil ways—so evil that hospitals fill up every summer with the profligates who consort with them, an intolerable plague that begs for a quick and effective cure. Anyway, I wanted to say all this to the mayor and I raised my voice, thinking I already had one. But of course, instead of pronouncing some well-reasoned argument, I barked so fast and so loud that I annoyed him, and he ordered his servants to chase me out and beat me senseless. Ah, if only one lackey inparticular had been without his senses. But instead he heard his master’s command, rushed in and grabbed a copper amphora that came to hand, walloping me about the ribs so hard that I bear the scars of those blows yet.
Scipio
: And is this all you’re grousing about, Berganza?
Berganza
: Well, don’t I have a right to complain if it still hurts, as I’ve said, and if I didn’t do anything to deserve this punishment?
Scipio
: Look, Berganza, nobody should meddle where he isn’t welcome, or butt into matters that have nothing to do with him. And you should remember that, no matter how good, the advice of the poor is never taken. The lowly should know better than to try and advise bigshots and know-it-alls. The wisdom of the poor is hard to make out—the shadows of need and misery obscure it, and even if it’s noticed, people write it off as stupid and treat it with contempt.
Berganza
: You’re right, and as a champion meddler, from here on in I’ll follow your advice.
Another night I entered the house of a lady who had in her arms a lapdog so small, she could have hidden it in her bosom. The creature saw me and jumped from its mistress’s arms, chasing me with a great barking fury, and didn’t stop till it bit me in the leg. I turned around and marveled at it, with anger and not a little respect, muttering, “If I were to catch you in the street, youwretched little beast, I’d either ignore you completely or tear you to pieces.” It struck me that even lily-livered cowards are brave and reckless while in favor, and they have no scruples about offending their betters.
Scipio
:
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