said.
“So far this morning, he’s met Judith, who he roundly hates,
and Elliott, the computer guy who intimidated him with youth and tech. He’s oh
for two, and we’re about to go meet someone else he doesn’t know. He doesn’t
like meeting new people in general.”
“That’s silly,” Eliza said. “People like Roy almost as soon
as they meet him. He should like people back.”
“Maybe they’re all self-loathing, and they sense his dislike
of them.”
“That’s silly too. Really, Steven – if you’re not careful,
you’ll grow up to be just like him.”
“I’ve spent my whole life trying to not be like him,” Steven
said. “Then, this last year, I’ve tried to emulate him as much as possible, to
learn from him. It’s a strange father-son relationship. Jason isn’t that way.
We always get along, he doesn’t…” Steven stopped.
Eliza smiled, and reached out to hold Steven’s hand, wrapped
around his paper coffee cup.
“It’s OK,” Eliza said. “I still think of him as here, too.”
“It’s that look on his face,” Steven said. “That’s what I
see. Him looking at me, knowing something is wrong. He trusts me, I’m his
father. But he knows I’m wrong in the head, there’s a force I can’t control. He
heard Brett’s story. He knew what happened to children who slept in those beds,
in that house. When he went to lie down, he didn’t think he’d wake up to his
own father, hovering over him, about to kill him.”
“You could talk to him, you know,” Eliza said. “Next time
you’re at Eximere. The way your father talks to Thomas.”
“I wouldn’t know what to say,” Steven said. “And I’m sure he
hates me.”
“Alright. Not now, then. Later. When you’re ready. I think
he’ll want to hear from you.”
“Right now I’m just so angry,” Steven said. “Angry at myself,
angry at Aka Manah. I hate that fucking demon.”
Roy returned and sat with them. The table stayed quiet, with
Steven looking out the window as the water raced by, seeing the Southworth
ferry in the distance. They say vengeful thinking clouds one’s judgment, Steven thought. But I don’t care. Aka Manah has his precious objects to play
with while my son lies cold in the ground. Something has to right this wrong.
Something has to even the score.
A seagull landed on the railing of the ferry, just outside
the window where Steven was staring. It looked at him while others flew
overhead, circling around the ferry, looking for food. As he watched, it cocked
its head, eyeballing Steven, waiting.
I’ve got about as much control over this situation as that
bird, Steven
thought. Exactly none.
◊
After the ferry landed, they drove up the peninsula to Port
Townsend without stopping. With Eliza’s help, Steven navigated to the old
downtown stretch of the city, parking the car on a side street. The address
Elliott gave them took them to a doorway tucked between two shops on Water
Street. They ducked into its entryway, out of the path of tourists. Once again
there was an intercom to deal with.
Eliza pressed the button and talked to a voice on the other
end. When the door buzzed, Steven grabbed it and held it open for the others.
The inner door opened to a long stairway leading up to the
second floor. They walked up and turned a corner, to be met with a single door
under a hanging light.
Eliza knocked.
The door opened, revealing the exact opposite of Elliott. Victor
was small, just over five feet tall, and he was old – white hair, white
moustache, and beard trimmed short. He greeted them and asked them inside. Steven
noticed that he was a little hunched over when he walked.
“Something to drink?” Victor asked them.
Yup, the exact opposite of Elliott, Steven thought.
They all passed on a drink, and Victor asked them to sit in
his library, a room filled with books and large chairs. Steven noticed the
house was full of antiques, placed with great care.
“Oh, another view!” Eliza said as
“So far this morning, he’s met Judith, who he roundly hates,
and Elliott, the computer guy who intimidated him with youth and tech. He’s oh
for two, and we’re about to go meet someone else he doesn’t know. He doesn’t
like meeting new people in general.”
“That’s silly,” Eliza said. “People like Roy almost as soon
as they meet him. He should like people back.”
“Maybe they’re all self-loathing, and they sense his dislike
of them.”
“That’s silly too. Really, Steven – if you’re not careful,
you’ll grow up to be just like him.”
“I’ve spent my whole life trying to not be like him,” Steven
said. “Then, this last year, I’ve tried to emulate him as much as possible, to
learn from him. It’s a strange father-son relationship. Jason isn’t that way.
We always get along, he doesn’t…” Steven stopped.
Eliza smiled, and reached out to hold Steven’s hand, wrapped
around his paper coffee cup.
“It’s OK,” Eliza said. “I still think of him as here, too.”
“It’s that look on his face,” Steven said. “That’s what I
see. Him looking at me, knowing something is wrong. He trusts me, I’m his
father. But he knows I’m wrong in the head, there’s a force I can’t control. He
heard Brett’s story. He knew what happened to children who slept in those beds,
in that house. When he went to lie down, he didn’t think he’d wake up to his
own father, hovering over him, about to kill him.”
“You could talk to him, you know,” Eliza said. “Next time
you’re at Eximere. The way your father talks to Thomas.”
“I wouldn’t know what to say,” Steven said. “And I’m sure he
hates me.”
“Alright. Not now, then. Later. When you’re ready. I think
he’ll want to hear from you.”
“Right now I’m just so angry,” Steven said. “Angry at myself,
angry at Aka Manah. I hate that fucking demon.”
Roy returned and sat with them. The table stayed quiet, with
Steven looking out the window as the water raced by, seeing the Southworth
ferry in the distance. They say vengeful thinking clouds one’s judgment, Steven thought. But I don’t care. Aka Manah has his precious objects to play
with while my son lies cold in the ground. Something has to right this wrong.
Something has to even the score.
A seagull landed on the railing of the ferry, just outside
the window where Steven was staring. It looked at him while others flew
overhead, circling around the ferry, looking for food. As he watched, it cocked
its head, eyeballing Steven, waiting.
I’ve got about as much control over this situation as that
bird, Steven
thought. Exactly none.
◊
After the ferry landed, they drove up the peninsula to Port
Townsend without stopping. With Eliza’s help, Steven navigated to the old
downtown stretch of the city, parking the car on a side street. The address
Elliott gave them took them to a doorway tucked between two shops on Water
Street. They ducked into its entryway, out of the path of tourists. Once again
there was an intercom to deal with.
Eliza pressed the button and talked to a voice on the other
end. When the door buzzed, Steven grabbed it and held it open for the others.
The inner door opened to a long stairway leading up to the
second floor. They walked up and turned a corner, to be met with a single door
under a hanging light.
Eliza knocked.
The door opened, revealing the exact opposite of Elliott. Victor
was small, just over five feet tall, and he was old – white hair, white
moustache, and beard trimmed short. He greeted them and asked them inside. Steven
noticed that he was a little hunched over when he walked.
“Something to drink?” Victor asked them.
Yup, the exact opposite of Elliott, Steven thought.
They all passed on a drink, and Victor asked them to sit in
his library, a room filled with books and large chairs. Steven noticed the
house was full of antiques, placed with great care.
“Oh, another view!” Eliza said as
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