The Decimation of Mae (The Blue Butterfly)

The Decimation of Mae (The Blue Butterfly) by D H Sidebottom

Book: The Decimation of Mae (The Blue Butterfly) by D H Sidebottom Read Free Book Online
Authors: D H Sidebottom
on us as she gasped.
    “GET OUT!” Master bellowed at her.
    “I’m so sorry, Daniel.” She flustered as she quickly
diverted her eyes and fled back through the door.
    “Don’t look at me!” Master hissed when my eyes found his
    He pulled himself back together but I refused his request
and watched him quickly tuck himself away. Pain and torment held his
expression, his disgust at what had just occurred hurting something inside me.
    “I’m sorry I repulse you,” I whispered without thinking.
I shouldn’t have been sorry, I shouldn’t have given a damn what he thought of
me, but strangely I did. I wanted him to like me, to desire me. There was
something about him, no matter how dark his depravity went, that called to me,
as though his soul mirrored my own, its call for comfort and understanding
denying my hatred towards him.
    His eyes snapped to mine and his brow wrinkled. His eyes
penetrated deep within me as slight confusion influenced his expression. He was
quiet for a moment, his body tight and still as his eyes concentrated on mine.
He then gave me a simple nod.
    “Clean yourself. I shall be back later and we will start
your education.”
    He didn’t give me a chance to respond before he stormed
from the room. His anger controlled his posture, his shoulders pulled back, the
thick muscle of them straining the expensive material of his shirt. His
backside was firm, the taut fabric of his trousers showcasing his tight
    I lowered my eyes to the floor as I sat back on my heels,
disgusted with myself for checking him out.
    “What the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked myself as the
portly woman once more appeared in the doorway.
    She gave me a small smile. “I’ve left the soup to warm
whilst you take a shower.”
    I nodded and pulled myself up, allowing her to lead me
into the bathroom. I watched her as she pre-warmed the water and collected a
few things in readiness for me.
    “What’s your name?”
    She turned to me, her expression troubled and full of
lost hope. “Pauline.”
    I smiled back at her. “Well, thank you, Pauline.”
    She frowned as she slipped her hand under the spray of
water to check the temperature. “What for?”
    “For showing me kindness. For treating me as a human and
not a dog. For helping me.”
    She swallowed heavily but shook her head. “Do not let my
care confuse you. I am ordered to do these things, none of them are from my own
compassion. You are stock, Mae, and I must treat you as such.”
    My stomach plummeted at her words and tears burnt my
eyes. Did no one in this place care? Were they all on a mission to hurt me? My
heart ached when I realised that my final days on this earth would be
surrounded by people who hated me, people who neither liked nor cared for me.
    I nodded and stepped into the shower, releasing her of
her discomfort. I waited until the sound of the door closed before I slid to
the floor and released the torrent of unhappiness that choked my throat.
    Despair and resignation brought frantic sobs. I wished
for the progression of my cancer, hoped for its end to relieve me. As though empathising,
my brain throbbed in reply, letting me know it was the only thing on my side.
    It was with me, the tumour feeding from me, the only
thing that needed me. The only thing that could grant me an escape from this
nightmare and I prayed for it to hurry the fuck up.

Chapter Nine
‘It is the teaching that prepares us, not the
         “Feed from it, Mae.” His voice was tight, the timbre to it a deep rasp as
though my pain was his pleasure. “Let the sensation take you higher.”
    How the fuck did he expect me to take it higher when every single inch of my skin blazed, my body already soaring with
    “I can’t,” I sobbed out. “Please, no more.”
    He was relentless, the lash of the whip on my back severe
and gruelling. “Shut down your mind, lamb. You should be accustomed to this,
the slice of your soft skin,

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