knowledge. Was he, Antonym, prepared to be an apostle? Obviously, this was what Hemistich was going to propose to him. He and Farfarello had drawn him in because they had sensed the potential in him. They regarded him as a man of spirit, which in some ways he had always felt himself to be, though he had never admitted it to himself until then. No, he wouldnât die without ever having been. No, he â¦
What nonsense to imagine he was any different to that tree trunk smeared with tar that the sea had deposited on the sand! How naive, how presumptuous!
Antonym watched a solitary seagull flying in imperfect circles over the ocean. He was also alone, also flying in imperfect circles. But soon his face lit up. Presumption and naivety: werenât these also the attributes of a man of spirit? Many great men had been ridiculed early on in their careers for seeming overly ambitious and out of touch with reality. What if ârealisticâ was just a euphemism for the weak, for those devoid of spirit?
Antonym realised, then, which God he had begun to believe in since his life had entered this jumble of events and thoughts. It was the God who had given him, Antonym, the capacity to stand out from the flock. It was the God who had taken him far beyond Good and Evil. It was the Entity who had created the Universe â the genesis of all presumption and all naivety â and had thus become God. âI will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the intelligence of the intelligent I will reject. Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar?â Now he understood the real meaning of those words.
And this was how God appeared to Antonym, and Antonym appeared as God before God. Terrible events were to follow henceforth.
Part Two
â12â
I was hoping youâd say something immediately after the last reading session, but you left without saying a thing. I take it you didnât like it ⦠I can understand what you mean when you say itâs a disturbing book. I stopped writing it shortly before I killed my father, when I was swept up in the events that led me to commit patricide. What ⦠? Thatâs not true. I wasnât emulating my characters when I eliminated my father ⦠Iâm sorry, but that kind of comment is uncalled for ⦠No, I donât want to hear it ⦠What? What idiotic manual gave you the idea that using the word âeliminateâ is typical of those who premeditate murder in cold blood? I give you the most precious thing I have, and this is how you reward me. More than an attempt at writing literature, my unfinished book is a concrete representation of my interrupted life, and this is why it is of inestimable value to me. Itâs confirmation that Iâve managed to become the protagonist of my own story. I decided to kill my father, I decided to stop writing my book, I decided â¦
No, itâs not true that it might have been my only option. I could have gone on living as if nothing had happened. But in choosing the path I did, I put a full stop to everything. Do you see? I imposed my will on everyone. Even you, who had nothing to do with this whole story, but who is now living and breathing it and will remember it until the day you die ⦠Yes, I did kill my father, as one breathes â but that illustrates how resolute I was in my decision rather than the lack of an alternative. It was a conscious move â lucid, rational even; the adjective doesnât matter. I couldnât care less that people think Iâm crazy, or that Iâm here, in this place, because doctors and judges have declared me insane. Iâm not crazy, do you hear me? Iâm not crazy.
Isnât it clear to you why I killed my father? Then I have no illumination to offer. Only darkness.
I had dearly hoped for an unbiased appreciation of my book, and now you come along with these ⦠Youâve cheapened me, and what I wrote, by drawing easy, mechanical parallels.
What nonsense to imagine he was any different to that tree trunk smeared with tar that the sea had deposited on the sand! How naive, how presumptuous!
Antonym watched a solitary seagull flying in imperfect circles over the ocean. He was also alone, also flying in imperfect circles. But soon his face lit up. Presumption and naivety: werenât these also the attributes of a man of spirit? Many great men had been ridiculed early on in their careers for seeming overly ambitious and out of touch with reality. What if ârealisticâ was just a euphemism for the weak, for those devoid of spirit?
Antonym realised, then, which God he had begun to believe in since his life had entered this jumble of events and thoughts. It was the God who had given him, Antonym, the capacity to stand out from the flock. It was the God who had taken him far beyond Good and Evil. It was the Entity who had created the Universe â the genesis of all presumption and all naivety â and had thus become God. âI will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the intelligence of the intelligent I will reject. Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar?â Now he understood the real meaning of those words.
And this was how God appeared to Antonym, and Antonym appeared as God before God. Terrible events were to follow henceforth.
Part Two
â12â
I was hoping youâd say something immediately after the last reading session, but you left without saying a thing. I take it you didnât like it ⦠I can understand what you mean when you say itâs a disturbing book. I stopped writing it shortly before I killed my father, when I was swept up in the events that led me to commit patricide. What ⦠? Thatâs not true. I wasnât emulating my characters when I eliminated my father ⦠Iâm sorry, but that kind of comment is uncalled for ⦠No, I donât want to hear it ⦠What? What idiotic manual gave you the idea that using the word âeliminateâ is typical of those who premeditate murder in cold blood? I give you the most precious thing I have, and this is how you reward me. More than an attempt at writing literature, my unfinished book is a concrete representation of my interrupted life, and this is why it is of inestimable value to me. Itâs confirmation that Iâve managed to become the protagonist of my own story. I decided to kill my father, I decided to stop writing my book, I decided â¦
No, itâs not true that it might have been my only option. I could have gone on living as if nothing had happened. But in choosing the path I did, I put a full stop to everything. Do you see? I imposed my will on everyone. Even you, who had nothing to do with this whole story, but who is now living and breathing it and will remember it until the day you die ⦠Yes, I did kill my father, as one breathes â but that illustrates how resolute I was in my decision rather than the lack of an alternative. It was a conscious move â lucid, rational even; the adjective doesnât matter. I couldnât care less that people think Iâm crazy, or that Iâm here, in this place, because doctors and judges have declared me insane. Iâm not crazy, do you hear me? Iâm not crazy.
Isnât it clear to you why I killed my father? Then I have no illumination to offer. Only darkness.
I had dearly hoped for an unbiased appreciation of my book, and now you come along with these ⦠Youâve cheapened me, and what I wrote, by drawing easy, mechanical parallels.
Similar Books
7 Degrees of Alpha (a collection of seven new BWWM, Alpha Male Romances)
et al Phoenix Daniels Sara Allen
