meeting.
Then, from somewhere in a different dimension, a small voice broke through the haze.
"Holly! You came back!"
Jack ripped his mouth from Holly’s to stare at Sam. Holly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and turned.
"Why, hi there, Sam."
"You missed our ride yesterday."
"Yeah, I know. I’m sure sorry about that. Maybe we can go this afternoon."
"Holly, stop," Jack said. He would not allow her to get Sam’s hopes up again. He took a deep breath and willed his nerves to settle. Sam was the most important consideration. His only consideration.
Holly gazed up at him, her lips swollen and scarlet. Damn, she was beautiful. He wanted to grab her again and kiss her until he elicited a promise from her that she’d never leave them again.
But he’d be strong.
"Run along, Sam. Holly and I need to talk about grown up things."
"What kinds of things are those?"
"When you’re older, I’ll explain it. Go on now. Luisa should have lunch ready soon."
"But that’s why I came out here, Daddy. Lunch is on the table."
"Tell Luisa I’ll be a little late. You go on and eat."
"Okay." Sam trotted off. The kid never walked. He always trotted or ran. Jack smiled.
"Jack...."
"What?"
"Maybe you should eat first and then we’ll talk."
"Not a chance. You tell me what you came to tell me. And no more kissin’ until it’s all out in the open."
"So you’re ready to listen now?"
He nodded. That kiss had told him what he already knew. He wasn’t ready to give her up. Not by a long shot. So he’d listen. But he’d listen from a distance. He picked up the curry comb and got back to his horse.
"You stay there," he said, "and start talkin’."
"This isn’t easy for me."
"It isn’t for me, either. Last night sucked, Holly. If you think you’re the only one hurtin’ here, think again."
"I’m sorry."
"Quit apologizin’ and explain yourself. I’m agin’ here."
She let out a heavy sigh. He focused on horse’s shiny coat.
"It is the age thing, but there’s more to it than you know." She cleared her throat. "That first night we met, I told you I was in a bad place."
"I know. We’ve all been in bad places, Holly."
"This was a particularly bad one, Jack. I’d just been diagnosed with cancer."
Oh God. His heart dropped to his stomach. He tossed the currycomb to the ground and hurried toward her. "Sugar, are you all right?"
"Yeah, yeah, I’m fine." She swiped her hand across her nose and sniffed. "Sort of."
"What do you mean, sort of? Sugar, please, tell me you’re okay."
"I am. I mean, my life’s not in danger or anything."
"Come sit with me." He led her out of the stable and onto a patch of soft grass. He sat down and drew her into his lap. His heart ached.
"Tell me."
"It was cervical cancer, Jack. I-I always had my pap smears, which was lucky. They caught it real early. But it was an aggressive strain. So they treated it aggressively."
"Oh." His heart sank. He already knew where this was going.
"They took my uterus. Plus one ovary. Just left me one for hormones. I’m pretty much cleaned out."
"God."
"I had to give up my dream of being a mom. I thought I’d come to terms with it. Until you came back into my life."
He swallowed and kissed the top of her head. He’d thought about having a child with her. Sure, she was older, but not too old. Now that wouldn’t happen.
Did it matter? Sam wanted a brother. He knew that. He sure loved kids and always thought he’d have more eventually, once the right woman came along.
That the right woman might not be able to give him children hadn’t occurred to him.
She rested her head against his shoulder and he inhaled the apple-fresh scent of her hair.
"Sugar?"
"Hmm?" Her voice was muffled.
"I never saw a scar."
She lifted her head. "They used a laparoscope. The scar’s hidden in my belly button. It’s a lot less invasive. I was able to recover a lot quicker."
"Oh." So she had recovered quickly. Physically. He had a hunch she wasn’t
Then, from somewhere in a different dimension, a small voice broke through the haze.
"Holly! You came back!"
Jack ripped his mouth from Holly’s to stare at Sam. Holly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and turned.
"Why, hi there, Sam."
"You missed our ride yesterday."
"Yeah, I know. I’m sure sorry about that. Maybe we can go this afternoon."
"Holly, stop," Jack said. He would not allow her to get Sam’s hopes up again. He took a deep breath and willed his nerves to settle. Sam was the most important consideration. His only consideration.
Holly gazed up at him, her lips swollen and scarlet. Damn, she was beautiful. He wanted to grab her again and kiss her until he elicited a promise from her that she’d never leave them again.
But he’d be strong.
"Run along, Sam. Holly and I need to talk about grown up things."
"What kinds of things are those?"
"When you’re older, I’ll explain it. Go on now. Luisa should have lunch ready soon."
"But that’s why I came out here, Daddy. Lunch is on the table."
"Tell Luisa I’ll be a little late. You go on and eat."
"Okay." Sam trotted off. The kid never walked. He always trotted or ran. Jack smiled.
"Jack...."
"What?"
"Maybe you should eat first and then we’ll talk."
"Not a chance. You tell me what you came to tell me. And no more kissin’ until it’s all out in the open."
"So you’re ready to listen now?"
He nodded. That kiss had told him what he already knew. He wasn’t ready to give her up. Not by a long shot. So he’d listen. But he’d listen from a distance. He picked up the curry comb and got back to his horse.
"You stay there," he said, "and start talkin’."
"This isn’t easy for me."
"It isn’t for me, either. Last night sucked, Holly. If you think you’re the only one hurtin’ here, think again."
"I’m sorry."
"Quit apologizin’ and explain yourself. I’m agin’ here."
She let out a heavy sigh. He focused on horse’s shiny coat.
"It is the age thing, but there’s more to it than you know." She cleared her throat. "That first night we met, I told you I was in a bad place."
"I know. We’ve all been in bad places, Holly."
"This was a particularly bad one, Jack. I’d just been diagnosed with cancer."
Oh God. His heart dropped to his stomach. He tossed the currycomb to the ground and hurried toward her. "Sugar, are you all right?"
"Yeah, yeah, I’m fine." She swiped her hand across her nose and sniffed. "Sort of."
"What do you mean, sort of? Sugar, please, tell me you’re okay."
"I am. I mean, my life’s not in danger or anything."
"Come sit with me." He led her out of the stable and onto a patch of soft grass. He sat down and drew her into his lap. His heart ached.
"Tell me."
"It was cervical cancer, Jack. I-I always had my pap smears, which was lucky. They caught it real early. But it was an aggressive strain. So they treated it aggressively."
"Oh." His heart sank. He already knew where this was going.
"They took my uterus. Plus one ovary. Just left me one for hormones. I’m pretty much cleaned out."
"God."
"I had to give up my dream of being a mom. I thought I’d come to terms with it. Until you came back into my life."
He swallowed and kissed the top of her head. He’d thought about having a child with her. Sure, she was older, but not too old. Now that wouldn’t happen.
Did it matter? Sam wanted a brother. He knew that. He sure loved kids and always thought he’d have more eventually, once the right woman came along.
That the right woman might not be able to give him children hadn’t occurred to him.
She rested her head against his shoulder and he inhaled the apple-fresh scent of her hair.
"Sugar?"
"Hmm?" Her voice was muffled.
"I never saw a scar."
She lifted her head. "They used a laparoscope. The scar’s hidden in my belly button. It’s a lot less invasive. I was able to recover a lot quicker."
"Oh." So she had recovered quickly. Physically. He had a hunch she wasn’t
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