then I wanted to think.
Presumably the bacteria had caused the fevers once. The fevers didn’t recur because the body now had the bacteria protecting it, acting like a vaccine possibly. I asked him if people had developed any other symptom than fevers. Other ailments.
A few have died of unknown diseases, he said. Others…he pointed to the gas chambers.
I wonder if I needn’t worry, since the symptoms of fevers came and went like in our lab monkeys. No one was being carted away with strange symptoms. But our test group monkeys hadn’t shown any symptoms after their fevers went. And their nutrition had been much below normal. Like the camp workers’ here.
The control group, on the other hand, showed the odd assortment of symptoms. And they had normal nutrition—like the guards here. How would I know if the guards had developedanything? Besides, even if one of them had any issues, how could we attribute it to the pill? Plus how was I to know if the guards had been given the pill or not?
One thing is certain. The bacterium is now free to spread, potentially infecting anyone who breathes it. It is contagious among humans. That’s one thing Lars and I have proved.
I am unable to put my mind at ease these days. What I have helped do is unconscionable. Of this I am certain. Will I ever be forgiven for it?
Will I ever forgive myself for it, I wonder.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
That was all that remained of the diary.
“Opa burned the rest.” Max held the diary close to her chest.
Julian picked up the envelope he had left on the coffee table. “These are the papers the DANK Haus people faxed me. Copies of everything they got from Germany on Bernard Baston. It has details about the dig and names and addresses of those involved. Irrelevant, most likely. I wasn’t much help after all. I’m so sorry.”
“No!” Max touched his hand. “You’ve been very helpful. And kind. Thank you so much.”
Julian waved away her gratitude. He didn’t make a move to pull his hand away, and she didn’t remove hers either. “You’re welcome,” he said. “I rather enjoyed chatting with the guy at the DANK Haus. But Max—”
“Yes?” Her hand was growing warmer by the second.
“You haven’t told me the whole story.” His soft voice turned Max’s knees to Jell-O.
“What do you mean?”
“The bit about the, uh, suspicious death.” His eyes were shining.
Max pulled her hand away, nauseated by his transparent interest. But she had no right to be mad at Julian. After all, she had used her poor father’s death as the carrot to entice him.
Max decided to trust Julian. She had trusted him this far.
She told him about Lars and the package her father had sent him, in as impassive a way as she could manage. She ended with how theman from Berliner, most likely, had attacked Lars and threatened her. She felt such relief after telling him.
Julian sank into the couch. His eyebrows were furrowed. “Your father,” he said softly. “How awful. You must think me callous coming here looking for a juicy mystery.” He jumped up and took her hand. “Did you go to the police after the incident with this man, especially since he had broken into your home?”
“I was frightened. Besides, this man is probably in Germany now. And how do I explain his attack? Say that my father may have killed himself or been killed over some pills my grandfather found in India decades ago? Nazi Germany, India, ancient civilization. It’s all too out there for a police complaint!”
Julian’s eyes softened. “But I’m a stranger,” he said. “Is there no one you can confide in?”
There was pity in his voice. Max thought of the few friends she had, who for one reason or another had all left town. They were married and tied up with kids and families, living a life that was alien to her.
She missed them terribly, especially now.
Truth was, she had no one. Except Uncle Ernst.
“Uncle Ernst knows some of this, but I haven’t spoken to him since I
Presumably the bacteria had caused the fevers once. The fevers didn’t recur because the body now had the bacteria protecting it, acting like a vaccine possibly. I asked him if people had developed any other symptom than fevers. Other ailments.
A few have died of unknown diseases, he said. Others…he pointed to the gas chambers.
I wonder if I needn’t worry, since the symptoms of fevers came and went like in our lab monkeys. No one was being carted away with strange symptoms. But our test group monkeys hadn’t shown any symptoms after their fevers went. And their nutrition had been much below normal. Like the camp workers’ here.
The control group, on the other hand, showed the odd assortment of symptoms. And they had normal nutrition—like the guards here. How would I know if the guards had developedanything? Besides, even if one of them had any issues, how could we attribute it to the pill? Plus how was I to know if the guards had been given the pill or not?
One thing is certain. The bacterium is now free to spread, potentially infecting anyone who breathes it. It is contagious among humans. That’s one thing Lars and I have proved.
I am unable to put my mind at ease these days. What I have helped do is unconscionable. Of this I am certain. Will I ever be forgiven for it?
Will I ever forgive myself for it, I wonder.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
That was all that remained of the diary.
“Opa burned the rest.” Max held the diary close to her chest.
Julian picked up the envelope he had left on the coffee table. “These are the papers the DANK Haus people faxed me. Copies of everything they got from Germany on Bernard Baston. It has details about the dig and names and addresses of those involved. Irrelevant, most likely. I wasn’t much help after all. I’m so sorry.”
“No!” Max touched his hand. “You’ve been very helpful. And kind. Thank you so much.”
Julian waved away her gratitude. He didn’t make a move to pull his hand away, and she didn’t remove hers either. “You’re welcome,” he said. “I rather enjoyed chatting with the guy at the DANK Haus. But Max—”
“Yes?” Her hand was growing warmer by the second.
“You haven’t told me the whole story.” His soft voice turned Max’s knees to Jell-O.
“What do you mean?”
“The bit about the, uh, suspicious death.” His eyes were shining.
Max pulled her hand away, nauseated by his transparent interest. But she had no right to be mad at Julian. After all, she had used her poor father’s death as the carrot to entice him.
Max decided to trust Julian. She had trusted him this far.
She told him about Lars and the package her father had sent him, in as impassive a way as she could manage. She ended with how theman from Berliner, most likely, had attacked Lars and threatened her. She felt such relief after telling him.
Julian sank into the couch. His eyebrows were furrowed. “Your father,” he said softly. “How awful. You must think me callous coming here looking for a juicy mystery.” He jumped up and took her hand. “Did you go to the police after the incident with this man, especially since he had broken into your home?”
“I was frightened. Besides, this man is probably in Germany now. And how do I explain his attack? Say that my father may have killed himself or been killed over some pills my grandfather found in India decades ago? Nazi Germany, India, ancient civilization. It’s all too out there for a police complaint!”
Julian’s eyes softened. “But I’m a stranger,” he said. “Is there no one you can confide in?”
There was pity in his voice. Max thought of the few friends she had, who for one reason or another had all left town. They were married and tied up with kids and families, living a life that was alien to her.
She missed them terribly, especially now.
Truth was, she had no one. Except Uncle Ernst.
“Uncle Ernst knows some of this, but I haven’t spoken to him since I
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