The Color Of Her Panties

The Color Of Her Panties by Piers Anthony Page A

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Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: Humor, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Young Adult
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question?”
    “No, dear.  That is my question ,to you.”
    Che clenched his teeth.  This Adult was so adultish that it was painful.
    They were always so sure of themselves, and so obnoxious about it.  But a child could never tell them that, because they always twisted it around to make it seem that the child was the obnoxious one.  It was impossible to reason with an adult, because the mind of any adult was set, like old cement.
    “Well, everyone knows that-” Gwenny began.
    “No, dear.  I do not want anyone's answer.  I want your answer.”
    Gwenny began to show a bit of righteous rebellion.  “My answer is that it is a conspiracy by adults to make children miserable!” she said.
    “Because-”
    “No, do not tell why.  Just what.”
    “Anything that really interests children, the adults deny.
    Like all the good words that can make plants wilt and dry grass burst into fire, and the ones that curse-burrs respect.
    And anything about how to summon the stork.  And they make children eat awful things, like castor oil and broccoli, instead of the good things like cake and candy.  And they won't let any boy child see anyone's panties, even if they're really pretty panties.  Or any girl child see what a boy's got instead of panties.  And they make children go to bed early, when they're not sleepy.  Things like that.”
    The Adult nodded with distant tolerance.  That reminded Che of another adultish annoyance:  they seldom praised a child's efforts unless it was insincere, such as saying “Very good!” when the child succeeded in choking down a nauseating brussels sprout.  She turned to Jenny.
    “Identify yourself.”
    “I am Jennifer Elf from the World of Two Moons.”
    “Jennifer, why is the Adult Conspiracy?”
    “What?” Jenny asked, startled.
    “Not what, dear, why.” The Adult was insufferably patronizing, but that was normal.
    “I don't know why adults want to make children miserable!” Jenny exclaimed angrily.  “Maybe they're jealous of our open minds and sunny dispositions.  It's not that way where I come from.”
    The Adult frowned.  “You can do better than that, dear, I'm sure.”
    There it was again, Che thought:  the Adult was twisting things around, not accepting the obvious answer.  Adults always preferred to be devious.
    But Jenny tried.  “Well, I can tell you why it might be, if adults really cared about children.  There might be something dangerous that might hurt children, so the adults try to keep children away from it.
    Like maybe those words of power:  if a child said one in a straw house, it could set the house on fire, and the family would lose its home.”
    Che and Gwenny looked at her, astonished.  She was making sense!  There might actually be reason for a small part of the Conspiracy, though of course that did not justify the rest of it.
    “And?” the Adult inquired in that uncomfortably prodding way they had.
    “And about eating the bad stuff-it's supposed to be nutritious,” Jenny continued.  “Candy-it tastes good, but after a while it can pall, and maybe it is not as good for the body as it seems.” She was evidently remembering their tummy aches of last night.  “So the adults try to keep children from getting into trouble by eating too much of the wrong things.  And about going to bed early.  I did feel better when I got a good night's sleep, instead of when I didn't get enough because of staying up late pillow-fighting.” She looked apologetically at the other two.  “And about not knowing how to summon the stork-I suppose there could be a problem if children started doing it, because they wouldn't be ready to take care of babies.  I mean, it's fun seeing a baby once in a while, but I wouldn't want to have to take care of it all the time.
    And suppose a child got a baby, just for fun, and then got tired of it?
    That would be pretty bad for the baby.”
    Che was amazed.  Jenny's alien upbringing in the World of Two Moons must be

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