The Chosen Prince by Diane Stanley Page A

is drawn as far as it will go, then pulled a little bit more, it can snap—from the pressure, you understand.”
    â€œAre you saying I’m not responsible for what happened? Because I ‘forgot myself’?”
    â€œNo. We are all responsible for the things we do.” He lets this hang in the air for a while. He strokes his beard and gazes out the window.
    â€œSuliman?” Alexos says. “Last night, after Father left and you gave me the sleeping drops, then went to sit in your chair—did you rise again and come over to me and lay your hand on my shoulder?”
    The physician blinks, clearly astonished. “No,” he says slowly, looking directly into the prince’s eyes. “I slept without moving till I heard you wake.”
    â€œThen who—?”
    After a long pause: “Who do you think?”
    Alexos draws in breath to speak, then lets it out again without a word.
    â€œThe goddess Athene was here in this room,” Suliman says. “She looked into your heart and saw the depth of your sorrow. Then she forgave you. She must have, Alexos, else she wouldn’t have taken you across the River, where living mortals never go, and shown you that Teo is safe and happy there. It was a kindness, was it not?”
    â€œOh, yes. You can’t imagine.”
    â€œI can, actually. And now you must thank her and accept her forgiveness. You will find that hard to do, I would imagine.”
    â€œHow can I possibly, when I can’t forgive myself? I don’t deserve her mercy.”
    â€œThat’s true. But mercy is, by its very definition, an undeserved gift. And it’s not your place to question the goddess and her motives.”
    Alexos droops. He is exhausted, body and soul.
    â€œThere’s something else you need to keep in mind, going forward,” Suliman says. “Grief and guilt are two entirely different things. The guilt you cannot bring yourself to put aside, which you hold so fiercely to your heart like some poisonous darling—that’s all about you , Alexos. But the grief is for Teo. So accept Athene’s forgiveness, and in doing so think less about yourself. Just grieve for your brother, purely and sincerely, as he deserves. Do you think you can do that?”
    Alexos isn’t sure. “I will try,” he says.
    â€œGood. Then take up your burden again and continue your life of service. Fulfill your duty as a prince and the champion of the goddess.”
    â€œBut my father—”
    â€œYes, well, I have considered that. And I don’t think it would be kind to tell him the truth; nor would it be good for Arcos. Why don’t we just leave things as they are? You’ve done harm enough already.”
    â€œSuliman?”
    â€œYes, Alexos?”
    â€œWhat would you have done if I had lied, if I’d said your version of the story was true?”
    He gives this a moment of serious thought. “WouldI have exposed you—is that what you’re asking?”
    â€œNo. I mean, what would you have done?”
    â€œI’d have packed up my things and left the kingdom and never returned. Because you would have broken my heart. But you didn’t lie, Alexos, even though I gave you a big, wide door to walk through.”
    â€œWas that a test?”
    â€œI hadn’t thought of it that way, but I suppose it was. And in that at least, you proved to be the boy I always believed you to be. So you also have my forgiveness, for what it’s worth. And I shall stay and guide you and help you become a whole person again. I will be at your side for as long as you want me, Alexos.”
    â€œIs that it?”
    â€œNo. I want you to sit up and eat. After that, we shall see.”

14
    ALEXOS RETURNS TO HIS classes late and unannounced. He waits till the boys are seated and the master of mathematics has started his lecture. Then he slips in and takes the back bench, which is always empty.
    But he