‘There’s something I have to tell you. I’ve done something very bad and it’s eating away at me.’
‘How bad?’ Crush teases. ‘This sounds interesting.’
‘I don’t want us to have any secrets,’ I say, with wavering voice. ‘I want to be completely honest with you, so that you know even the most terrible things that I’ve done.’
He still doesn’t look convinced that I’m deadly serious.I try to inject an air of solemnity and hang my head. ‘It has to do with me seeing you naked on the webcam.’
‘Not me,’ he corrects with a broad smile. ‘My brother. You’ve not yet had the pleasure of seeing me naked, Gorgeous. Though I hope we can correct that terrible omission very soon.’
‘Me too,’ I squeak.
‘So.’ Crush sits back like someone waiting to be told an entertaining story. ‘Are you going to confess this heinous crime?’
Clearing my throat, I begin, ‘I was alone at Christmas—’
‘I know,’ Crush says, ‘and I feel terrible about that. I’m going to do all I can to make it up to you.’
‘—
very
alone,’ I reiterate. ‘And I thought that you’d found someone else. I had no idea that you were in trouble. No one told me. I just thought . . . I thought you’d forgotten all about me.’ I’m on the verge of tears.
‘Hey,’ Aiden says. ‘That’s all behind us now. We know that it was a silly mistake.’
‘I made one other silly mistake too.’ I can feel myself gnawing anxiously at my lip while he waits for me to spill the beans. There’s a puzzled frown on his handsome face and I want to reach out and smooth it. Instead, I wring my hands together in the manner of the wretched fool that I am.
‘Tell me,’ he urges gently. ‘Nothing can be that bad.’ He even laughs a little.
‘I slept with Marcus,’ I say.
I see him recoil and blink a lot.
‘I slept with Marcus on Christmas Day, because I was alone and feeling sorry for myself.’
Crush’s face has turned ashen.
‘It was once,’ I continue. ‘Just the once and I’m deeply, deeply sorry.’
Aiden says nothing, but his jaw has set and his eyes have darkened alarmingly. Around us the jolly, amusing chatter continues unabated while we sit here in our bubble of misery. When Crush eventually finds his voice, he says, ‘How could you, Lucy? How could you do that?’
‘I was alone . . .’
‘And I was in the
fucking
desert,’ he snaps. ‘Worried sick. Not about myself, but about you and how concerned you’d be.’
‘I knew nothing about it.’
‘Is that an excuse?’ he asks. ‘Is that any reason to jump straight back into bed with your ex-boyfriend? Your
bastard
ex-boyfriend as I seem to remember you referring to him on many occasions.’
‘I . . .’ What can I actually say that will vindicate this?
Crush holds up his hands. ‘Does this relationship mean so little to you?’ He shakes his head in disbelief. ‘I can’t believe that you’ve done this. Have you so little trust in me? Do you have so little self-respect? When Marcus has continually let you down, you still run straight back to him the minute anything goes wrong?’
I can’t really argue with that candid assessment of the situation.
‘I wish I was getting straight back on a plane to Australia.’ He rubs his hand over his forehead. ‘Now I’m going to be stuck here, thanks to you.’
‘I would never,
ever
have deliberately set out to cheat onyou, Aiden,’ I plead. ‘It was a moment of madness. I know exactly how it feels to be on the receiving end of this. I’d never do it intentionally. I was drunk . . .’
‘What a great excuse! Are you going to go out and shag another bloke every time you’ve had one over the eight? Is that what I have to look forward to?’
‘Of course not,’ I say quietly.
‘How do I know that?’ Then the fight goes out of his voice. ‘How do I know that now?’
Crush knocks back his wine and then he folds up his napkin.
‘Please don’t go,’ I say. ‘Forgive me.
‘How bad?’ Crush teases. ‘This sounds interesting.’
‘I don’t want us to have any secrets,’ I say, with wavering voice. ‘I want to be completely honest with you, so that you know even the most terrible things that I’ve done.’
He still doesn’t look convinced that I’m deadly serious.I try to inject an air of solemnity and hang my head. ‘It has to do with me seeing you naked on the webcam.’
‘Not me,’ he corrects with a broad smile. ‘My brother. You’ve not yet had the pleasure of seeing me naked, Gorgeous. Though I hope we can correct that terrible omission very soon.’
‘Me too,’ I squeak.
‘So.’ Crush sits back like someone waiting to be told an entertaining story. ‘Are you going to confess this heinous crime?’
Clearing my throat, I begin, ‘I was alone at Christmas—’
‘I know,’ Crush says, ‘and I feel terrible about that. I’m going to do all I can to make it up to you.’
‘—
very
alone,’ I reiterate. ‘And I thought that you’d found someone else. I had no idea that you were in trouble. No one told me. I just thought . . . I thought you’d forgotten all about me.’ I’m on the verge of tears.
‘Hey,’ Aiden says. ‘That’s all behind us now. We know that it was a silly mistake.’
‘I made one other silly mistake too.’ I can feel myself gnawing anxiously at my lip while he waits for me to spill the beans. There’s a puzzled frown on his handsome face and I want to reach out and smooth it. Instead, I wring my hands together in the manner of the wretched fool that I am.
‘Tell me,’ he urges gently. ‘Nothing can be that bad.’ He even laughs a little.
‘I slept with Marcus,’ I say.
I see him recoil and blink a lot.
‘I slept with Marcus on Christmas Day, because I was alone and feeling sorry for myself.’
Crush’s face has turned ashen.
‘It was once,’ I continue. ‘Just the once and I’m deeply, deeply sorry.’
Aiden says nothing, but his jaw has set and his eyes have darkened alarmingly. Around us the jolly, amusing chatter continues unabated while we sit here in our bubble of misery. When Crush eventually finds his voice, he says, ‘How could you, Lucy? How could you do that?’
‘I was alone . . .’
‘And I was in the
fucking
desert,’ he snaps. ‘Worried sick. Not about myself, but about you and how concerned you’d be.’
‘I knew nothing about it.’
‘Is that an excuse?’ he asks. ‘Is that any reason to jump straight back into bed with your ex-boyfriend? Your
bastard
ex-boyfriend as I seem to remember you referring to him on many occasions.’
‘I . . .’ What can I actually say that will vindicate this?
Crush holds up his hands. ‘Does this relationship mean so little to you?’ He shakes his head in disbelief. ‘I can’t believe that you’ve done this. Have you so little trust in me? Do you have so little self-respect? When Marcus has continually let you down, you still run straight back to him the minute anything goes wrong?’
I can’t really argue with that candid assessment of the situation.
‘I wish I was getting straight back on a plane to Australia.’ He rubs his hand over his forehead. ‘Now I’m going to be stuck here, thanks to you.’
‘I would never,
ever
have deliberately set out to cheat onyou, Aiden,’ I plead. ‘It was a moment of madness. I know exactly how it feels to be on the receiving end of this. I’d never do it intentionally. I was drunk . . .’
‘What a great excuse! Are you going to go out and shag another bloke every time you’ve had one over the eight? Is that what I have to look forward to?’
‘Of course not,’ I say quietly.
‘How do I know that?’ Then the fight goes out of his voice. ‘How do I know that now?’
Crush knocks back his wine and then he folds up his napkin.
‘Please don’t go,’ I say. ‘Forgive me.
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