The Cat on the Mat is Flat by Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton Page A

red.
    â€˜Bother! Bother! Bother!’ he said.
    â€˜I’ll have to take the sled instead.’

    Ted hitched up Fred
    to the front of the sled
    (which, by the way,
    was also red)
    and away
    from the shed
    sped Fred and Ted.

    Ted and
    Fred
    sped
    after Ed.

    Ted saw
    Ed’s
    red car
    up ahead.
    â€˜Faster,
    â€˜Faster,
    Fred!’
    said Ted.

    Ted and Fred
    were gaining on Ed,
    but all of a sudden,
    Ed stopped dead.
    There was
    a road block
    and a sign that read,
    â€˜STOP! DO NOT DRIVE!
    BIG CLIFF AHEAD!’

    Ted said, ‘Fred!
    Stop the sled!’
    But Fred
    could not.
    On they sped!

    Ted and Fred
    smashed into Ed.

    Over
    the
    cliff
    Ed
    plumm-et-ed!
    Closely
    followed
    by
    Ted
    and
    Fred.

    They
    hit the water
    and
    sank like lead.
    Poor Ed
    and Ted
    and Ted’s dog
    Fred!
    They were
    drowning
    and
    almost dead ...
    when they were swallowed
    by a whale
    called
    Ned.

    â€˜Bother!’ said Ed.
    â€˜Bother!’ said Ted.
    â€˜Woof! Woof! Woof!’ said
    Ted’s dog Fred,
    as they bobbed around
    in the belly of Ned.

    Ed and Ted and Ted’s dog Fred
    were certain
    they were surely dead,
    but the
    whale called Ned—
    who was overfed—
    blew Ed
    and Ted
    and Ted’s dog Fred
    out of
    the hole
    in the top
    of his head.

    Up,
    up,
    up,
    flew
    Ed
    and
    Ted.

    Up,
    up,
    up,
    flew Ted’s
    dog
    Fred
    and
    then ...

    down,
    down,
    down,
    they all did
    head!
    â€˜Oh no,’
    said Ted
    with deathly
    dread.
    â€˜We’ll hit
    the ground.
    We’ll end up
    dead!’

    â€˜Fear not,’
    said Ed,
    to his friend Ted,
    stretching a
    handkerchief
    over his head.
    â€˜Hang on to me, Ted!
    Hang on to Ted, Fred!’
    and
    down
    to
    the
    ground
    they
    para-chut-ed.
    â€˜Thank you,
    Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â thank you, Ed!’ said Ted.
    â€˜Thanks to you we are not dead!’
    â€˜Woof! Woof! Woof!’
    said Ted’s dog Fred
    as he jumped up
    and LICKED
    Ed’s head.

    Ed
    hugged
    Fred!

    Fred
    hugged
    Ed!
    Ted
    hugged
    Fred!

    Fred
    hugged
    Ted!
    Ed
    hugged
    Ted!

    Ted
    hugged
    Ed!
    And
    they
    lived happily
    ever after ...
    in their shed.

PINKY PONKY
THE SHONKY,
WONKY,
BONKY
DONKEY

    This is the story of Pinky Ponky.
    Pinky Ponky was a donkey.

    Pinky Ponky’s tail was shonky.

    Pinky Ponky’s leg was wonky.

    Pinky Ponky’s brain was bonky.

    And that’s the story
    of Pinky Ponky:
    the shonky,
    wonky,
    bonky
    donkey.

FROG
ON A
LOG
IN A
BOG

    There once was a frog
    who lived in a bog.

    The frog rode around
    on a jet-rocket log.
    There was no faster
    frog in the bog.
    But then one day
    while riding its log
    the frog looked up
    and saw a dog.
    The dog
    was riding
    a jet-rocket cog.

    â€˜My cog is faster
    than your boggy old log,’
    said the dog on a cog
    to the frog on a log.

    â€˜My log is faster
    than your rusty old cog,’
    said the frog on a log
    to the dog on a cog.

    â€˜We’ll see about that!’
    said the dog on a cog.
    â€˜I challenge you, frog,
    to a race round the bog!’

    â€˜I agree!’ said the frog.
    â€˜It’s you and your cog
    versus me and my log ...

    and I’m going
    to beat you,
    Dog-on-a-cog.’
    But just then
    along came
    the boss
    of the bog:
    a big fat hairy
    slob of a hog.

    â€˜STOP!’ said the hog
to the dog and the frog.
‘Racing is NOT
allowed in my bog!
Not on a log!
Not on a cog!
No log-racing frogs!
No cog-racing dogs!
Do you hear me,
Frog-on-a-log?
Do you hear me,
Dog-on-a-cog?’

    But the dog and the frog
    just laughed at the hog—

    and took off at high speed
    around the bog.

    The frog on a log
    got in front of the dog!

    Then the dog on a cog
    got in front of the frog!
    The frog raced its log
    and the dog raced its cog
    around
    and around
    and around the bog
    until ...

    up ahead
    they saw the hog
    standing on top of a
    wall made of logs!

    â€˜Stop!’ cried the hog.
    â€˜Stop, dog!
    Stop, frog!
    Stop this