”
“ What? ”
“ The haan female ... Ava. ”
“ She is transitioning to become the new haan female. ”
“ Whatever. Will you see her again? ”
“ Yes. ”
“ Can you ask her for me about Tānchi ? ”
“ Who? ”
“ Sorry, ” I said. “ The kid I dropped off last night. My surrogate. ”
He nodded. “ Ask her what? ”
“ I was wondering if there ’ s any chance I can finish the imprint with him, ” I said. “ Once this gets straightened out. ”
He paused, and there was more subtle shifting from inside his skull. “ You have already failed to complete the imprint. ”
“ I know, but— ”
“ Failure to complete an imprint disqualifies you from further surrogate service. ”
My mouth dropped. As he turned to leave, I grabbed his sleeve and stopped him in spite of the fact that doing so could, under the current laws, be interpreted as an assault against a haan.
“ Wait, ” I sputtered. “ This wasn ’ t my fault. ”
“ I know. ”
“ He could have starved if I didn ’ t bring him back. I did the right thing! ”
He looked down at my fistful of his suit, and I took my hand away.
“ Failure to complete an imprint disqualifies you from further surrogate service. ”
“ But — ”
“ Thank you for your time. Good-bye. ”
“ Wait, ” I said, squirming past to block him. I held my hands up between us, and he stopped. “ Just wait a minute, please. ”
It hadn ’ t occurred to me until right then, not really, just how much I ’ d come to depend on being a surrogate. Not just because of the extra money or rations, and not just to earn my keep with Dragan. Taking care of the little ones was one of the few bright spots I had, one of the few things that really, truly made me feel good. Now, just like that, not only had I lost Dragan but I was going to lose that too.
“ This has to be a special case, ” I said. “ I ’ m a good surrogate. ”
“ I don ’ t — ”
“ Just ask her. ”
“ Just say you ’ ll ask her! ”
He paused, his body tense, before relenting.
“ Your assigned foster has already been sent back, ” he said.
“ Where did you send him? ”
“ Back. ”
“ Back wh — ”
“ Your transaction is complete. ”
“ Wait, ” I said, almost grabbing his sleeve again. An awful feeling was sinking into my stomach. “ Back where? What does that mean? ”
I knew, though. On some level, I knew. I remembered waving to him as Ava closed the hopper door, and the low vibration that went through the floor afterward. It had reminded me of a garbage disposal.
“ All haan young must be imprinted, ” he said. “ No exceptions. I ’ m sorry. I thought you knew. ”
I couldn ’ t say anything. A lump grew in my throat, and I felt tears in my eyes, but I couldn ’ t speak.
I killed him. It was all I could think. I ’ d talked those guards into letting me inside. I trekked all the way across town in the middle of a security sweep, just so I could send him to his death when I could have just gotten a new kit in the morning.
“ Are you okay? ” Nix asked.
“ Go, ” I said, my voice thick and hoarse.
“ If I— ”
“ Go! ” I snapped, a fleck of spit landing on the shoulder of his coat. It was all catching up with me finally. I clamped my hands down over my head li ke it was an eggshell I was trying to hold together. My stomach was full of bile, and the pressure building up behind my eyes was horrible. The shine had been a mistake. I put one hand on the wall to steady myself, using the back of the other to wipe my eyes.
“ These are your government ’ s rules, ” I heard Nix say.
“ You guys are so cute when you ’ re little, ” I said. “ What happens? ”
Nix just stared at me, unblinking. “ We grow up. ”
I pressed my palms to my eyes
“ What? ”
“ The haan female ... Ava. ”
“ She is transitioning to become the new haan female. ”
“ Whatever. Will you see her again? ”
“ Yes. ”
“ Can you ask her for me about Tānchi ? ”
“ Who? ”
“ Sorry, ” I said. “ The kid I dropped off last night. My surrogate. ”
He nodded. “ Ask her what? ”
“ I was wondering if there ’ s any chance I can finish the imprint with him, ” I said. “ Once this gets straightened out. ”
He paused, and there was more subtle shifting from inside his skull. “ You have already failed to complete the imprint. ”
“ I know, but— ”
“ Failure to complete an imprint disqualifies you from further surrogate service. ”
My mouth dropped. As he turned to leave, I grabbed his sleeve and stopped him in spite of the fact that doing so could, under the current laws, be interpreted as an assault against a haan.
“ Wait, ” I sputtered. “ This wasn ’ t my fault. ”
“ I know. ”
“ He could have starved if I didn ’ t bring him back. I did the right thing! ”
He looked down at my fistful of his suit, and I took my hand away.
“ Failure to complete an imprint disqualifies you from further surrogate service. ”
“ But — ”
“ Thank you for your time. Good-bye. ”
“ Wait, ” I said, squirming past to block him. I held my hands up between us, and he stopped. “ Just wait a minute, please. ”
It hadn ’ t occurred to me until right then, not really, just how much I ’ d come to depend on being a surrogate. Not just because of the extra money or rations, and not just to earn my keep with Dragan. Taking care of the little ones was one of the few bright spots I had, one of the few things that really, truly made me feel good. Now, just like that, not only had I lost Dragan but I was going to lose that too.
“ This has to be a special case, ” I said. “ I ’ m a good surrogate. ”
“ I don ’ t — ”
“ Just ask her. ”
“ Just say you ’ ll ask her! ”
He paused, his body tense, before relenting.
“ Your assigned foster has already been sent back, ” he said.
“ Where did you send him? ”
“ Back. ”
“ Back wh — ”
“ Your transaction is complete. ”
“ Wait, ” I said, almost grabbing his sleeve again. An awful feeling was sinking into my stomach. “ Back where? What does that mean? ”
I knew, though. On some level, I knew. I remembered waving to him as Ava closed the hopper door, and the low vibration that went through the floor afterward. It had reminded me of a garbage disposal.
“ All haan young must be imprinted, ” he said. “ No exceptions. I ’ m sorry. I thought you knew. ”
I couldn ’ t say anything. A lump grew in my throat, and I felt tears in my eyes, but I couldn ’ t speak.
I killed him. It was all I could think. I ’ d talked those guards into letting me inside. I trekked all the way across town in the middle of a security sweep, just so I could send him to his death when I could have just gotten a new kit in the morning.
“ Are you okay? ” Nix asked.
“ Go, ” I said, my voice thick and hoarse.
“ If I— ”
“ Go! ” I snapped, a fleck of spit landing on the shoulder of his coat. It was all catching up with me finally. I clamped my hands down over my head li ke it was an eggshell I was trying to hold together. My stomach was full of bile, and the pressure building up behind my eyes was horrible. The shine had been a mistake. I put one hand on the wall to steady myself, using the back of the other to wipe my eyes.
“ These are your government ’ s rules, ” I heard Nix say.
“ You guys are so cute when you ’ re little, ” I said. “ What happens? ”
Nix just stared at me, unblinking. “ We grow up. ”
I pressed my palms to my eyes
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