The Boy Who Knew Me When (From Boys to men Trilogy) by J.L. Bostick Page A

you?”
      He pulled a deep breath into his chest and slowly exhaled. “Are you asking me if she told me about that Julian Ford guy or if she told me you let my best friend climb inside of you without even a moments thought?”
      I closed my eyes and cringed as a shiver made its way up my spine. He had taken my breath away and I had no idea how to respond, I was sure he hated me. How could he not when even I hated me?
    “I don’t hate you if that’s what you are thinking. I could never hate you Jem. Sand, remember? Yet I just keep coming back for more.” He joked placing his hand over his heart.
      I laughed at his morbid sense of humor jabbing him in the arm. “JERK!” I laughed.
    “Ow! You have to be careful with me baby, I’m sensitive, as delicate as a yellow rose.” He paused softly smiling, “What time do you normally take your pill?” he asked.
      I knew it was too good to be true. Even after he assured me he was real I still tried to convince myself he was a delusion for fear reality would come back and clobber me in the face just like Brea had done to Axel.
      I leaned over Brandon’s shoulder to get a glance of the clock on the night stand behind him. “Usually around seven, or shall I say about twenty minutes ago.” I said lying my head back down on my pillow.
    “Well, what do yah say we mosey on out of this room? You take your pill and I will scrounge up some breakfast. Brea said she baked cookies and that I was to get them into you STAT.”
      Regardless of the fact that all I wanted to do was lay in my bed with Brandon for the rest of my life, never having to face the reality that my shell had cracked, I got up with him. I took my pill like a good little girl and ate a stack of chocolate chip cookies soothing the ache in my heart that had returned when reality set in.
    “So, tell me about him?” I looked up at Brandon with half a cookie in my mouth.
    “Axel? I am pretty sure you don’t want the sordid details of that disaster.” Brandon’s lips puckered up as if he had bit into a lemon and he closed his eyes.
    “Not Axel, Jem, him , your brother’s friend, the guy Brea seems to think you are in love with.”
      I put down the cookie that was in my hand. Was I in love with Julian, Ford, after only knowing him a little while? Because at this very moment I was sure I loved Brandon. True, my heart was throbbing at the thought of sharing Ford with Brandon. It was also throbbing for the fact that Ford felt just as dead to me now as Nicolai and my mother, but was I in love with him?
      I could not bear the thought of watching Brandon leave again. Watching him go the first time made me wish I would just die so that I didn’t have to fight this cruel fucking world without him. He was always my knight in shining armor, the prince in all of the fairy tales I read as a child. The first time I fooled around with Axel I was just a confused young girl. I had a hard time understanding why I turned to him when Brandon was not there. If I loved Brandon so much why couldn’t I manage to be without him for more than a few hours and still be faithful?
      During my weekly therapy session, Dr. Schneider, who had been my diagnosing psychiatrist, asked me if I could see myself functioning without Brandon. I contemplated the question for a long time, trying to will the answer to change based on the different scenarios he was offering me, but it always remained the same, there was no way that I could.  He later asked me if I thought my feelings were love or if I had just grown to need him because he allowed himself to be there, if perhaps he could have been anyone. I refused to answer. I knew that I loved him, I wasn’t sure the depth of that love but I was positive that there was love in my heart for him.
      By the end of the session Dr. Schneider had explained that he felt as if I had allowed myself to grow mentally attached to Brandon because he was so willing, basically because he was an easy