The Book of Fate by Parinoush Saniee Page A

with them. You can’t burn them all at the stake because some guy fancied them… Besides, it wasn’t her fault.’
    â€˜Yes, I know my daughter well. She may not be all that diligent with her prayers and fasting, but her heart is with God. The day before yesterday she said, “I dream of going on a pilgrimage to the shrine of Imam Abdolazim in Qum.” Back then, she used to pray at the shrine of Her Holiness Massoumeh every week. You won’t believe how she prayed. That wretched girl, Parvaneh, is the one to blame for all this. Otherwise, my daughter involved in such things? Never!’
    â€˜But wait a little longer. Perhaps the guy will come and marry her and everything will end well. He wasn’t a bad boy and they want each other. Everyone speaks highly of him. And soon he’s going to be a doctor.’
    â€˜What are you talking about, Mrs Parvin?’ Mother said irately. ‘Her brothers say they will give her to Azrael, the angel of death, before they give her to him. And it’s not as if he’s breaking down our door to come for her. Whatever God wants will happen. Everyone’s fate and destiny is written on their forehead from the very first day, and their share has been set aside.’
    â€˜Then don’t rush into anything. Let fate do its work.’
    â€˜But her brothers say they will have to bear the scar of her shame until she gets married and they are no longer responsible for her. How long do you think they can keep her locked up in the house? They’re afraid their father will take pity on her and give in.’
    â€˜Well, the poor thing does deserve some pity. She’s very beautiful. Wait until she is healthy again. You’ll see what kind of men will come for her.’
    â€˜I swear to God, I cook rice and chicken for her every day. Lamb shank soup, porridge made with wheat and meat. I send Ali out to buy sheep’s head and trotters soup for her breakfast. All in the hope that she will gain some weight and not look so sickly so that a decent man can take a liking to her.’
    I remembered a fairy tale from my childhood. A monster kidnapped a child. But the child was too thin for the monster to eat. Instead he locked her up and brought her plenty of good food so that she would quickly get fat and become a delectable meal. Now my family wanted to fatten me up and throw me to a monster.
    Â 
    I was put up for sale. Hosting people who came to see me as a potential wife became the only serious event in our house. My brothers and Mother had spread the word that they were searching for a husband for me, and all sorts of people came. Some were so unsuitable that even Ahmad and Mahmoud decided against them. Every night, I prayed for Saiid to show up, and at least once a week I begged Mrs Parvin to go to the pharmacy to see if there was any news of him. The doctor told her Saiid had written to him only once and that the letter the doctor had sent in response had been returned. Apparently the address was wrong. Saiid had melted and vanished in the ground. At night I would sometimes go to the living room to pray and commune with God, and then I would stand at the window and watch the shadows moving along the street. A few times I saw a familiar shadow under the arch of the house across the street, but as soon as I opened the window it disappeared.
    The only dream that ushered me to bed at night and made me forget the pain and suffering of my tedious days was that of a life with Saiid. In my mind, I would sketch our small and beautiful house, its furnishings and the decorations in every room. It was my small heaven. I imagined our children, beautiful, healthy and happy. In my dreams I was in eternal love and bliss. Saiid was a model husband. A gentle man, mild-mannered and kind, sensible and intelligent, he never fought with me, he never belittled me. Oh, how I loved him. Has any woman ever loved a man the way I loved Saiid? If only we could live in