The Book of Even More Awesome by Neil Pasricha Page B

This was less because I crowded the plate with gritted teeth and steely determination and more because most twelve-year-olds can’t pitch straight and I have extremely slow reflexes .
    Since I’m so bad at sports, I tend to overcelebrate any type of tiny sports victory I can get. I’m not talking about shooting a buzzer-beating three-pointer or catching a winning touchdown. No, I’m talking about any teeny-weeny play during the game where I get to feel like I actually did something right for a second.
    Here are some of my faves:
    1. The Air Hockey Self-Score . This is where your opponent fires the plastic puck so hard it bounces off your end and scores on their own net. Fist pumps all around.
    2. The Accidental Pool Shot . Here’s where you aim for the six ball in the corner pocket but miss completely and send the cue ball spinning wildly around the table until it accidentally bumps another ball into a completely different pocket. We’ll take it.
    3. Rim Rollers . Okay, over to basketball. This is when your shot bounces off the side of the backboard and clangs around for ten seconds, bouncing in every direction, before eventually, reluctantly, spinning around the rim and slowly falling into the basket.
    4. The Lucky Golf Bounce. The only way my terrible golf shot is landing on the fairway is if it smacks off a tree trunk in the forest and pops back out. Bouncing a hundred feet in the air off the paved golf cart path might also do the trick.
    5. The Slow Strike . Do you ever go bowling? If you’re as bad as I am you love that moment when your ball barely nudges a corner pin and causes a slowmotion domino effect that eventually gives you a strike. Time for a Stage Dance or Hulk Hogan pose.
    6. The Tennis Drop-off . Here’s my favorite one of all. Yes, when you win a point in tennis by hitting the ball into the net and having it immediately fall over and die on the other side, that’s just perfect.
    Now, I know what you’re thinking: These are all terrible cheap shots no athlete would be proud to score. But I’m no athlete, people. I’ll take my cheap shots when I get ’em if I get ’em. And, you know, maybe these little flukes are just the result of intense wanting and willing for success and therefore not flukes at all. No, maybe they’re deliberate interventions on the part of the Sports Gods in order to motivate us to keep on pushing.
    AWESOME!

Tuning the radio station perfectly so there’s absolutely no static
    I’m a terrible tuner.
    Yeah, I’m the guy twiddling clock radio dials before bed every night with scrunched-up eyebrows. When I do end up on a crystal-clear station it usually isn’t the one I was aiming for or I end up accidentally using my body as an antenna so the sound gets fuzzy the second I move my hand away.
    For a second it’s clear and then it’s schzzzteeeeeeeeyiiiiiiiio-OoOoOssZZZZT.
    You’d definitely find these moments over in The Book of Annoying , that nonexistent netherlist that also features: Someone shaking your hand with freshly wet hands from the bathroom, Bendy straws that crack at the bendy part , and Getting the wobbly table at a restaurant.
    Brother, that’s why nothing’s as nice as landing perfectly on your radio station of choice after twiddling that little dial for a few quick moments. When you nail it just right, slowly move your hand away, pause for station identification , and quickly click the switch over to Alarm, you’re loving it lots.
    See, radio waves float and fly through our lives sending highway traffic reports, wacky morning DJs , and bumping bass beats bouncing around the air like magic. It’s up to us to catch them like butterflies with our thin antennas, dusty clock radios , and determined little fingers driven to get the job done.
    AWESOME!

Waking up really thirsty in the morning and finding a glass of water within reach
    Maybe you scarfed a salty bag of chips before