was truly exhausted not to have figured out Watkins’ second “bl” referred to her blindness.
Chapter Fifteen
“Even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart … ”
— Aeschylus, 5 B.C.
11:15 PM
Val Rogan closed her bedroom door after checking on Janet, who finally slept after taking the sedative Val pressed on her. Janet had wanted Val to take one, too, but Val had her own way to unwind.
She took a carved wooden box from a desk drawer to the sitting room window, cracked it open, and in a minute was blowing smoke from her hastily rolled spliff into the still night. Val became maudlin at first, a crying jag seizing her as she squeezed out all the tears she thought her body could possibly produce, softly sobbing into a pillow so she wouldn’t wake Janet.
After a few minutes she blew her nose and wiped her swollen eyes, relighting her joint and inhaling deeply, hoping for enough distance from her pain to sleep for a few hours. Janet would need her over the next few weeks; it was a responsibility she felt keenly. Every time she closed her eyes she felt Bryn urging her to take care of Janet. Val shuddered, stowed her box, and threw herself onto her couch.
She was fortunate to have Nora and Simon around her just now. Simon had a quiet strength she found calming. And dear Nora was like a sister.
Val thought with fondness of her fourteen-year-old half-sister, Louisa. The girl was too young to be a companion, but perhaps in the future they would grow closer. This immediately led to thoughts of Louisa’s mother, May Rogan, her father’s second wife. Lloyd Rogan’s sudden death two years ago had only widened the breach they had been unable to cross in more than fourteen years.
She supposed she and May had reached an impasse. At one time they both had tried, for her father’s sake, to learn to be friends. Val’s mother had died when she was so young that Val’s memories of her were shadowy at best, so she knew she didn’t feel May was taking her mother’s place. It was just that May was so involved in—May, and how others saw her.
Val remembered confiding to her father that she was homosexual and her stepmother’s reaction at dinner that night when he’d explained the situation to May. “Oh?” May had said at first, as though she didn’t understand the meaning of the word. Then “OH” again as she did, unable to stop the look of disgust that crossed her face. An argument escalated from there, with Lloyd unable to calm the women.
Val clearly remembered taking her glass of ice water and throwing it at May’s pretty face, wishing she could squeeze her hands around that slender neck instead. Her temper had gotten her into trouble on more than one occasion, and this would not be the last time.
May was shocked and ran into the kitchen; Lloyd Rogan ran after her instead of berating Val, and she’d heard him pleading with his wife in low tones. Shortly after that they had returned to the table, May sitting in a dry chair.
“I’m sorry, May.” Val had stiffly apologized before her father had had to ask.
May had accepted her apology. “I have some news of my own, Val. Perhaps my hormones are out of whack. You see, I’m pregnant!”
Val was stunned. She saw her father’s radiant smile and was glad she was leaving soon for art school.
The arrival of Louisa had kept May involved and busy and out of Val’s affairs. The two women arrived at a cool truce that let them function when Val came home for holidays. Val could even admit she had enjoyed watching her little sister grow. Right now Louisa was the only part of Lloyd Rogan still available to her.
Now she wondered if she should call May to let her know about Bryn’s death. After heavy rationalization, she decided she would only become angry if May acted less than sympathetic, which was a distinct possibility. It was news that could wait.
Turning on her side, trying to
Chapter Fifteen
“Even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart … ”
— Aeschylus, 5 B.C.
11:15 PM
Val Rogan closed her bedroom door after checking on Janet, who finally slept after taking the sedative Val pressed on her. Janet had wanted Val to take one, too, but Val had her own way to unwind.
She took a carved wooden box from a desk drawer to the sitting room window, cracked it open, and in a minute was blowing smoke from her hastily rolled spliff into the still night. Val became maudlin at first, a crying jag seizing her as she squeezed out all the tears she thought her body could possibly produce, softly sobbing into a pillow so she wouldn’t wake Janet.
After a few minutes she blew her nose and wiped her swollen eyes, relighting her joint and inhaling deeply, hoping for enough distance from her pain to sleep for a few hours. Janet would need her over the next few weeks; it was a responsibility she felt keenly. Every time she closed her eyes she felt Bryn urging her to take care of Janet. Val shuddered, stowed her box, and threw herself onto her couch.
She was fortunate to have Nora and Simon around her just now. Simon had a quiet strength she found calming. And dear Nora was like a sister.
Val thought with fondness of her fourteen-year-old half-sister, Louisa. The girl was too young to be a companion, but perhaps in the future they would grow closer. This immediately led to thoughts of Louisa’s mother, May Rogan, her father’s second wife. Lloyd Rogan’s sudden death two years ago had only widened the breach they had been unable to cross in more than fourteen years.
She supposed she and May had reached an impasse. At one time they both had tried, for her father’s sake, to learn to be friends. Val’s mother had died when she was so young that Val’s memories of her were shadowy at best, so she knew she didn’t feel May was taking her mother’s place. It was just that May was so involved in—May, and how others saw her.
Val remembered confiding to her father that she was homosexual and her stepmother’s reaction at dinner that night when he’d explained the situation to May. “Oh?” May had said at first, as though she didn’t understand the meaning of the word. Then “OH” again as she did, unable to stop the look of disgust that crossed her face. An argument escalated from there, with Lloyd unable to calm the women.
Val clearly remembered taking her glass of ice water and throwing it at May’s pretty face, wishing she could squeeze her hands around that slender neck instead. Her temper had gotten her into trouble on more than one occasion, and this would not be the last time.
May was shocked and ran into the kitchen; Lloyd Rogan ran after her instead of berating Val, and she’d heard him pleading with his wife in low tones. Shortly after that they had returned to the table, May sitting in a dry chair.
“I’m sorry, May.” Val had stiffly apologized before her father had had to ask.
May had accepted her apology. “I have some news of my own, Val. Perhaps my hormones are out of whack. You see, I’m pregnant!”
Val was stunned. She saw her father’s radiant smile and was glad she was leaving soon for art school.
The arrival of Louisa had kept May involved and busy and out of Val’s affairs. The two women arrived at a cool truce that let them function when Val came home for holidays. Val could even admit she had enjoyed watching her little sister grow. Right now Louisa was the only part of Lloyd Rogan still available to her.
Now she wondered if she should call May to let her know about Bryn’s death. After heavy rationalization, she decided she would only become angry if May acted less than sympathetic, which was a distinct possibility. It was news that could wait.
Turning on her side, trying to
Similar Books
