feigned surprise, but she realized she was trying to feign excitement. "I didn't expect you here, Keekee."
"Don't call me that," said Kelan. He stepped away from the door to let her in.
Kayda stepped inside, already feeling awkward. "You shaved your hair?" she asked, although the answer was obvious. His short-clipped black hair was buzzed evenly around his long head. She had never seen him like that before. It made his features more statuesque. The two brothers had always had hair running down their backs. Then Kayda suddenly realized why Kelan's hair was short.
"I cut it when Carlos went missing," said the man. His eyes were smoldering.
Kayda had never gotten along with her eldest sibling. He was a cutthroat. Sure, Kelan wasn't the nicest of brothers either, but Carlos was downright cruel. When Kayda had seen the news reports about the Paradise Killings, it hadn't surprised her.
"I'm sorry," said Kayda. She wasn't, but she said it. The truth was that she was always afraid of the influence of their older brother. If Kelan was a firecracker, Carlos was the lighter. With one gone, maybe the other had a chance.
"Don't be. You disappeared. Your healthcare degree was too important." Kelan said the last part with mockery on his face. He didn't respect her desire to get an education. To help others.
Kayda didn't know what to say. She wasn't sorry that she had left. That she hadn't even called on the phone when the media reports broke. Getting involved in the family's crime spree was the last thing she needed to worry about while she was working on her degree. Not to mention, it was Carlos and Kelan who drove her away in the first place.
Her half brother clenched his jaw and avoided looking her directly in the eye. "You should have stayed away."
"I came here to see Pahmi , you know. You weren't supposed to be here."
"You're not supposed to be here, half sister. He's not your father so stop calling him that."
Kayda shot her chin up, refusing to be baited by her brother into an argument just as she arrived.
After their mother had died, Kayda had gone back and forth between living with her real father, off the reservation, and living here with her grandfather. He'd always treated her as his own child, chiding her brothers for picking on her. She'd come to realize that continually moving away from the tribe to live with her real dad had made her more of an outcast, but she wouldn't change her past. Her father had instilled a sense of duty in her. A sense of gratitude. Going to school in New York had opened her eyes to more than just her tribe and the casinos and the highways. After she was done here, she would join the Master's program in the Peace Corps and escape far, far away from the Yavapai. If they didn't want her, she wouldn't insist on staying.
It was only her pahmi that she needed to say goodbye to.
"What are you doing here?" asked Kayda.
Kelan progressed into the kitchen and slung a backpack over his shoulder. "Just dropping off food for the old man. Someone has to take care of him, you know." Her brother had finally looked her in the eye when he said that. "We'll all be at the casino tonight. Except for him. He's too frail to move that much. He mostly stays in bed. If you don't upset him, maybe you should stay with him tonight."
"You don't want me at the opening celebration?"
"What do you think?" Kelan strode out the front door and paused for a second. "This life was never for you."
He closed the door and left her standing there alone. It was rough. Kayda hadn't been prepared for seeing him yet. She thought she'd have more time to ready herself. Now, it was over and done with, and her brother had been colder than she imagined.
" Pahmi ," she called out, moving to the bedroom. Her grandfather's name was Wicasa, but she used a term that meant simply "father." " Pahmi ."
He was waiting for her, right there on the bed as Kelan had said. He was old, but he didn't look ancient or brittle. His brown skin and large
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