hadn’t come to bring the news she’d wanted.
She began to quiver, still clutching the fat dog for dear life. Stalling for time, she stammered, “C-could I get you some coffee? There’s a fresh pot, and you look so cold.”
Instead of answering, he said bluntly, “I need you to understand, it’s true, what the police in Austin told you. After a neighbor reported hearing what sounded like a shot, a blond woman was found dead in the bathroom of your sister’s apartment, with what appeared to be a single bullet wound to her head and a gun next to her hand. I understand the police have asked you to come to the medical examiner’s office for an official identification—”
“Before five,” she interjected. “That’s what the detective told me. I was about to get ready, so I can get this straightened out before the weekend.”
“But that’s just a formality. The responding officers made a preliminary ID from the photo on her driver’s license.”
Lauren stared into Durant’s face, cursing the cold that had come in with him, peppering her like icy pellets. Stinging her skin and intensifying the tremors that racked her body. “My sister would never do this.” She shook her head. “She wouldn’t. After the accident, she promised me, no matter how down she was feeling, no matter how many idiots trashed her after that stupid cable TV woman—”
“So you were aware your sister was depressed?”
“For a while, of course she was. She felt so guilty, even though it was Megan who begged her to try to make it so she could get home to her kids.”
“Rachel was behind the wheel. She felt responsible.”
“But she wasn’t . Even the grand jury didn’t think so.” Tears blurred Lauren’s vision as she rushed to her sister’s defense. “It was the storm. The water came up so fast.” Seven people had drowned that day. Five of them in different accidents in Austin, yet only Rachel—caught on videotape driving around a barricade into rising waters—had been persecuted.
“No one’s here to blame her.” He raised his palms to calm her, his voice as patient as it was professional. “I’m just trying to help you understand why she might have been struggling with guilt.”
“But she’s better now. Much better. Her insurance company had settled on the civil suit, so it was finally all over. She’d just invited me to come visit.” Why didn’t I say yes? If only I’d been there, she never would have…
“The medical examiner won’t make a determination of the cause of death until the autopsy’s completed. But there was a note found that appears consistent with other samples of your sister’s handwriting.”
“What note? What did it say?”
“She only said, ‘ Choice is only an illusion. This is what I have to do. ’’’
“That’s it? Nothing else? You’re certain?”
When he nodded, she made him repeat the message, the words burning their way into her memory forever. She tried to imagine her sister, who’d seemed so cheerful and upbeat during their last conversation, saying such a thing, much less writing it before she’d put a gun to her head.
Impossible. “There has to be more.”
Special Agent Durant confirmed that this was the information the Austin police detective had relayed to him. “I’m very sorry this has happened. Sorry for your loss. Is there anyone I should call for you?”
“No. There’s no one else, no one but me and Rachel. Why ? Why would she do this now, after everything she’s been through?”
“Your sister was troubled,” he suggested.
“She wouldn’t have bailed now, especially without a word to me.” Lauren cried as the old dachshund snuggled against her sweatshirt and licked her hand in an attempt to offer comfort. But there was no easing the pain pulsing at her temples, the nausea threatening to start her heaving. The creeping fear that this was not a bad dream, but a horrible new reality.
“The two of you were close?”
“Very. We
She began to quiver, still clutching the fat dog for dear life. Stalling for time, she stammered, “C-could I get you some coffee? There’s a fresh pot, and you look so cold.”
Instead of answering, he said bluntly, “I need you to understand, it’s true, what the police in Austin told you. After a neighbor reported hearing what sounded like a shot, a blond woman was found dead in the bathroom of your sister’s apartment, with what appeared to be a single bullet wound to her head and a gun next to her hand. I understand the police have asked you to come to the medical examiner’s office for an official identification—”
“Before five,” she interjected. “That’s what the detective told me. I was about to get ready, so I can get this straightened out before the weekend.”
“But that’s just a formality. The responding officers made a preliminary ID from the photo on her driver’s license.”
Lauren stared into Durant’s face, cursing the cold that had come in with him, peppering her like icy pellets. Stinging her skin and intensifying the tremors that racked her body. “My sister would never do this.” She shook her head. “She wouldn’t. After the accident, she promised me, no matter how down she was feeling, no matter how many idiots trashed her after that stupid cable TV woman—”
“So you were aware your sister was depressed?”
“For a while, of course she was. She felt so guilty, even though it was Megan who begged her to try to make it so she could get home to her kids.”
“Rachel was behind the wheel. She felt responsible.”
“But she wasn’t . Even the grand jury didn’t think so.” Tears blurred Lauren’s vision as she rushed to her sister’s defense. “It was the storm. The water came up so fast.” Seven people had drowned that day. Five of them in different accidents in Austin, yet only Rachel—caught on videotape driving around a barricade into rising waters—had been persecuted.
“No one’s here to blame her.” He raised his palms to calm her, his voice as patient as it was professional. “I’m just trying to help you understand why she might have been struggling with guilt.”
“But she’s better now. Much better. Her insurance company had settled on the civil suit, so it was finally all over. She’d just invited me to come visit.” Why didn’t I say yes? If only I’d been there, she never would have…
“The medical examiner won’t make a determination of the cause of death until the autopsy’s completed. But there was a note found that appears consistent with other samples of your sister’s handwriting.”
“What note? What did it say?”
“She only said, ‘ Choice is only an illusion. This is what I have to do. ’’’
“That’s it? Nothing else? You’re certain?”
When he nodded, she made him repeat the message, the words burning their way into her memory forever. She tried to imagine her sister, who’d seemed so cheerful and upbeat during their last conversation, saying such a thing, much less writing it before she’d put a gun to her head.
Impossible. “There has to be more.”
Special Agent Durant confirmed that this was the information the Austin police detective had relayed to him. “I’m very sorry this has happened. Sorry for your loss. Is there anyone I should call for you?”
“No. There’s no one else, no one but me and Rachel. Why ? Why would she do this now, after everything she’s been through?”
“Your sister was troubled,” he suggested.
“She wouldn’t have bailed now, especially without a word to me.” Lauren cried as the old dachshund snuggled against her sweatshirt and licked her hand in an attempt to offer comfort. But there was no easing the pain pulsing at her temples, the nausea threatening to start her heaving. The creeping fear that this was not a bad dream, but a horrible new reality.
“The two of you were close?”
“Very. We
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