The Ask and the Answer by Patrick Ness Page B
Authors: Patrick Ness
Tags: Fiction, General, Science-Fiction, Juvenile Fiction, Fantasy & Magic, Children's Books - Young Adult Fiction, Science Fiction; Fantasy; & Magic, Children: Young Adult (Gr. 10-12), Social Issues, Friendship, Violence, Law & Crime, Space colonies, Social Issues - Violence, Social problems
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completely forgot.
"No celebrations," the Mayor says, "because of course we both know you are already a man, now, aren't you?"
And again I raise the pictures of Aaron.
"You have been very impressive these past two weeks," he says, ignoring them. "I know it's been a great struggle for
128
you, not knowing what to believe about Viola, not knowing exactly how you should behave to keep her safe." I can feel his voice buzzing in my head, searching around. "But you have worked hard nonetheless. You have even been a good influence on David."
I can't help but think of the ways I'd like to beat Davy Prentiss into a bloody pulp but Mayor Prentiss just says, "As a reward, I bring you two belated birthday presents."
My Noise rises. "Can I see her?"
He smiles like he expected it. "You may not," he says, "but I will promise you this. On the day that you can bring yourself to trust me, Todd, truly bring yourself to understand that I mean good for this town and good for you, then on that day, you will see that I am indeed trustworthy."
I can hear myself breathing. It's the closest he's come to saying she's all right.
"No, your first birthday present is one you've earned," he says. "You'll have a new job starting tomorrow. Still with our Spackle friends, but added responsibility and an important part of our new process." He looks me hard in the eye again. "It's a job that could take you far, Todd Hewitt."
"All the way up to be a leader of men?" I say, my voice a bit more sarcastic than he'd probably like.
"Indeed," he says.
"And the second present?" I say, still hoping it might be her.
"My second present to you, Todd, surrounded by all this cure"-he gestures at the crates again-"is not to give you any at all."
I screw up my mouth. "Huh?"
129
But he's already walking toward me as if we're thru talking.
And as he passes me--
I am the Circle and the Circle is me.
Rings thru my head, just the once, coming right from the center of me, of who I am.
I jump from the surprise of it.
"Why can I hear it if yer taking the cure?" I say.
But he just gives me a sly smile and disappears up the staircase, leaving me there.
Happy late birthday to me.
I am Todd Hewitt, I think, as I lie in bed, staring up into the dark. I am Todd Hewitt and four days ago I was a man. Sure don't feel no different, tho.
All that reaching for it, all that importance on the date, and I'm still the same of stupid effing Todd Hewitt, powerless to do anything, powerless to save myself, much less her.
Todd effing Hewitt.
And lying here in the dark, Mayor Ledger snoring away over on his mattress, I hear a faint pop outside, somewhere in the distance, some stupid soldier firing off his gun at who knows what (or who knows who) and that's when I think it.
That's when I think getting thru it ain't enough.
Staying alive ain't enough if yer barely living.
They'll play me as long as I let 'em.
And she coulda been out there.
She coulda been out there today.
I'm gonna find her-
130
First chance I get, I'm gonna take it and I'm gonna find her-
And when I do-
And then I notice Mayor Ledger ain't snoring no more. I raise my voice into the dark. "You got something to say?"
But then he's snoring again and his Noise is gray and muzzy and I wonder if I imagined it.
131
10 IN GOD ' S HOUSE
***
(V iola)
"I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM." I don't take the cup of root coffee he offers. "Please, Viola," he says, holding it out toward me. I take it. My hands are still shaking. They haven't stopped since last night. Since I watched her fall.
First to her knees, then onto her side down to the gravel, her eyes still open.
Open, but already unseeing. I watched her fall.
"Sergeant Hammar will be punished." The Mayor takes a seat across from me. "He was by no means and under no circumstances following my orders."
"He killed her," I say, hardly any sound to my voice. Sergeant Hammar dragged me back to the house of healing, pounding on the door with the butt of his
"No celebrations," the Mayor says, "because of course we both know you are already a man, now, aren't you?"
And again I raise the pictures of Aaron.
"You have been very impressive these past two weeks," he says, ignoring them. "I know it's been a great struggle for
128
you, not knowing what to believe about Viola, not knowing exactly how you should behave to keep her safe." I can feel his voice buzzing in my head, searching around. "But you have worked hard nonetheless. You have even been a good influence on David."
I can't help but think of the ways I'd like to beat Davy Prentiss into a bloody pulp but Mayor Prentiss just says, "As a reward, I bring you two belated birthday presents."
My Noise rises. "Can I see her?"
He smiles like he expected it. "You may not," he says, "but I will promise you this. On the day that you can bring yourself to trust me, Todd, truly bring yourself to understand that I mean good for this town and good for you, then on that day, you will see that I am indeed trustworthy."
I can hear myself breathing. It's the closest he's come to saying she's all right.
"No, your first birthday present is one you've earned," he says. "You'll have a new job starting tomorrow. Still with our Spackle friends, but added responsibility and an important part of our new process." He looks me hard in the eye again. "It's a job that could take you far, Todd Hewitt."
"All the way up to be a leader of men?" I say, my voice a bit more sarcastic than he'd probably like.
"Indeed," he says.
"And the second present?" I say, still hoping it might be her.
"My second present to you, Todd, surrounded by all this cure"-he gestures at the crates again-"is not to give you any at all."
I screw up my mouth. "Huh?"
129
But he's already walking toward me as if we're thru talking.
And as he passes me--
I am the Circle and the Circle is me.
Rings thru my head, just the once, coming right from the center of me, of who I am.
I jump from the surprise of it.
"Why can I hear it if yer taking the cure?" I say.
But he just gives me a sly smile and disappears up the staircase, leaving me there.
Happy late birthday to me.
I am Todd Hewitt, I think, as I lie in bed, staring up into the dark. I am Todd Hewitt and four days ago I was a man. Sure don't feel no different, tho.
All that reaching for it, all that importance on the date, and I'm still the same of stupid effing Todd Hewitt, powerless to do anything, powerless to save myself, much less her.
Todd effing Hewitt.
And lying here in the dark, Mayor Ledger snoring away over on his mattress, I hear a faint pop outside, somewhere in the distance, some stupid soldier firing off his gun at who knows what (or who knows who) and that's when I think it.
That's when I think getting thru it ain't enough.
Staying alive ain't enough if yer barely living.
They'll play me as long as I let 'em.
And she coulda been out there.
She coulda been out there today.
I'm gonna find her-
130
First chance I get, I'm gonna take it and I'm gonna find her-
And when I do-
And then I notice Mayor Ledger ain't snoring no more. I raise my voice into the dark. "You got something to say?"
But then he's snoring again and his Noise is gray and muzzy and I wonder if I imagined it.
131
10 IN GOD ' S HOUSE
***
(V iola)
"I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW SORRY I AM." I don't take the cup of root coffee he offers. "Please, Viola," he says, holding it out toward me. I take it. My hands are still shaking. They haven't stopped since last night. Since I watched her fall.
First to her knees, then onto her side down to the gravel, her eyes still open.
Open, but already unseeing. I watched her fall.
"Sergeant Hammar will be punished." The Mayor takes a seat across from me. "He was by no means and under no circumstances following my orders."
"He killed her," I say, hardly any sound to my voice. Sergeant Hammar dragged me back to the house of healing, pounding on the door with the butt of his
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