The Art of Upgrading a Book Boyfriend (The Uni Files) by Anna Bloom Page A
Authors: Anna Bloom
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ex
fiancé after Lilah dumped him for some singer guy.
It was all a bit messy at the time, and
the facts are lost under wads of rumour and hear-say.
The question is: how on earth am I going
to stall the publication of this month until Monday?
I am going to get the sack this time for
sure.
It had better be worth it.
The Job
I don't really know how I ended up
sitting at this desk. But, I have a very sneaky feeling I must have been a
rather naughty person in a previous life.
I moved to the big smoke wanting to make
a career for myself. I wanted to work with books. Anything to do with books. I
love them, I breathe them, and well, I live my life to them. Not that I tell
many people this fact.
Now I am in my mid-twenties, and it is
an area of major concern to my extensive family of aunts and cousins that I
don't have a boyfriend. I would never admit to anyone that I don't have time
for a real life boyfriend because I have far too many book boyfriends on the
go. Who would want a real one anyway? All of my book boyfriends are shit hot
with abs to die for, and even the bad boys come right in the end.
Nope, I have no desire for a real
boyfriend at all, it’s all far too messy and complicated for me.
Sadly, my dream of working with books
has taken slightly longer to achieve than I initially thought. Oh yes I work
for a publishing house, quite a good one actually. Unfortunately, they publish
dead boring magazines.
The target readership falls into two categories:
fat bald men with too much money to invest. Or, fat housewives with too much
money to spend.
The only good bit about my job is that I
get paid at the end of the month.
That’s about it.
Depressing.
It would be better if in the last five
years I had climbed the corporate ladder a little, but all I have managed is
one rung from receptionist to the Editor's Assistant's assistant.
Sorry. Editor in Chiefs, Assistant's,
assistant.
This doesn’t sound too bad, but last
night the Editor in Chief and her Assistant were at a film premiere. There is a
picture of them standing next to Brad Shit on the company web page. While they
were out schmoozing the A-List, I was at the office doing all their work.
So yeah, it is not that great either.
Theresa, is the mega bitch otherwise
known as the Editor in Chief, and Fiona is her Assistant.
Theresa is a heartless cow, who spends
her time trying to find as many faults as possible in every person that she
meets. She is such a dominating bitch. I’ve come to the conclusion that she is
over-compensating for being a sub in the bedroom, to her bald fat husband. And
yes I may have read far too many "Romance" novels to come to that
conclusion. It’s a visual image I try to keep at bay.
Fiona lives her life with the sole
purpose to be a bitch to me, and to flirt with as many famous people as she
can. Thankfully she is on holiday for a few days. I’m hazy on the details. All
I know is Theresa Mega Bitch came storming out of her office on Monday, and
announced that Fiona was on emergency leave. The office rumour mill is grinding
out a story that supposedly she and her football playing boyfriend are having
issues, and that she needs to 'have time to re-prioritise her life
commitments,' or some complete shit like that.
More like, he realised she is a complete
celebrity Ho -Bag, and has dumped her ass.
Good.
Not that I am bitter or anything.
I may be having some time off myself
soon, if Tristan lets me down, and I don't get the digital edition out on time.
Everything is digital these days. What I want to know is what happened to the
good old days of paper, ink and the smell of musty books with covers created to
be remembered.
If I worked next door, at the 'real'
publishers who print actual books, I reckon I could convince them to go old
school and give the people what they want. Pulped trees. Okay maybe people no longer know what they want but I am sure I could convince
them with the right book. I just need to
fiancé after Lilah dumped him for some singer guy.
It was all a bit messy at the time, and
the facts are lost under wads of rumour and hear-say.
The question is: how on earth am I going
to stall the publication of this month until Monday?
I am going to get the sack this time for
sure.
It had better be worth it.
The Job
I don't really know how I ended up
sitting at this desk. But, I have a very sneaky feeling I must have been a
rather naughty person in a previous life.
I moved to the big smoke wanting to make
a career for myself. I wanted to work with books. Anything to do with books. I
love them, I breathe them, and well, I live my life to them. Not that I tell
many people this fact.
Now I am in my mid-twenties, and it is
an area of major concern to my extensive family of aunts and cousins that I
don't have a boyfriend. I would never admit to anyone that I don't have time
for a real life boyfriend because I have far too many book boyfriends on the
go. Who would want a real one anyway? All of my book boyfriends are shit hot
with abs to die for, and even the bad boys come right in the end.
Nope, I have no desire for a real
boyfriend at all, it’s all far too messy and complicated for me.
Sadly, my dream of working with books
has taken slightly longer to achieve than I initially thought. Oh yes I work
for a publishing house, quite a good one actually. Unfortunately, they publish
dead boring magazines.
The target readership falls into two categories:
fat bald men with too much money to invest. Or, fat housewives with too much
money to spend.
The only good bit about my job is that I
get paid at the end of the month.
That’s about it.
Depressing.
It would be better if in the last five
years I had climbed the corporate ladder a little, but all I have managed is
one rung from receptionist to the Editor's Assistant's assistant.
Sorry. Editor in Chiefs, Assistant's,
assistant.
This doesn’t sound too bad, but last
night the Editor in Chief and her Assistant were at a film premiere. There is a
picture of them standing next to Brad Shit on the company web page. While they
were out schmoozing the A-List, I was at the office doing all their work.
So yeah, it is not that great either.
Theresa, is the mega bitch otherwise
known as the Editor in Chief, and Fiona is her Assistant.
Theresa is a heartless cow, who spends
her time trying to find as many faults as possible in every person that she
meets. She is such a dominating bitch. I’ve come to the conclusion that she is
over-compensating for being a sub in the bedroom, to her bald fat husband. And
yes I may have read far too many "Romance" novels to come to that
conclusion. It’s a visual image I try to keep at bay.
Fiona lives her life with the sole
purpose to be a bitch to me, and to flirt with as many famous people as she
can. Thankfully she is on holiday for a few days. I’m hazy on the details. All
I know is Theresa Mega Bitch came storming out of her office on Monday, and
announced that Fiona was on emergency leave. The office rumour mill is grinding
out a story that supposedly she and her football playing boyfriend are having
issues, and that she needs to 'have time to re-prioritise her life
commitments,' or some complete shit like that.
More like, he realised she is a complete
celebrity Ho -Bag, and has dumped her ass.
Good.
Not that I am bitter or anything.
I may be having some time off myself
soon, if Tristan lets me down, and I don't get the digital edition out on time.
Everything is digital these days. What I want to know is what happened to the
good old days of paper, ink and the smell of musty books with covers created to
be remembered.
If I worked next door, at the 'real'
publishers who print actual books, I reckon I could convince them to go old
school and give the people what they want. Pulped trees. Okay maybe people no longer know what they want but I am sure I could convince
them with the right book. I just need to
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