The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett Page B

with this. All the signals were mixed up.
    â€œWell, er…”
    â€œObviously, as the leader you must give the orders,” said Darktan.
    â€œYes, er…”
    â€œBut my advice, sir, is that we investigate this. Unknown things are dangerous.”
    â€œYes. Certainly,” said Hamnpork. “Yes, indeed. We will investigate. Of course. See to it. I am the leader, and that is what I am saying.”
    Â 
    Maurice looked around at the inside of the rat catchers’ shed.
    â€œIt looks like a rat catchers’ shed,” he said. “Benches, chairs, stove, lots of rat skins hanging up, piles of old traps, a couple of dog muzzles, rolls of wire netting, a considerable amount of a lack of any dusting ever being done. It’s what I’d have expected a rat catchers’ hut to look like inside.”
    â€œI was expecting something…horrible yet interesting,” said Malicia. “Some ghastly clue.”
    â€œDoes there have to be a clue?” said Keith.
    â€œOf course!” said Malicia, looking under a chair. “Look, cat, there’s two types of people in the world. There are those who have got the plot, and those who haven’t.”
    â€œThe world hasn’t got a plot ,” said Maurice. “Things just…happen, one after another.”
    â€œOnly if you think of it like that,” said Malicia, far too smugly in Maurice’s opinion. “There’s always a plot. You just have to know where to look.”
    She paused for a moment and then said, “Look! That’s the word! There’ll be a secret passage, of course! Everyone look for the entrance to the secret passage!”
    â€œEr…how will we know it’s the entrance to a secret passage?” asked Keith, looking even more bewildered than normally. “What does a secret passage look like?”
    â€œIt won’t look like one, of course!”
    â€œOh, well , in that case I can see dozens of secret passages,” said Maurice. “Doors, windows, that calendar from the Acme Poison Company, that cupboard over there, that rat hole, that desk, that—”
    â€œYou’re just being sarcastic,” said Malicia, lifting up the calendar and sternly inspecting the wall behind it.
    â€œActually, I was just being flippant,” said Maurice. “But I can do sarcastic if you like.”
    Keith stared at the long bench, which was in front of a window frosted with ancient cobwebs. Traps were piled up on it. All kinds of traps. And beside them were row upon row of battered old tins and jars with labels like “Danger: Hydrogen Dioxide!” and “RatBane” and “Fire-Gut” and “Polyputaketlon: Extreme Caution” and “RatAway!!!” and “Killerat!” and “Essence of Barbed Wire: Danger!!!” and—he leaned closer to look at this one—“Sugar.” There were a couple of mugs, too, and a teapot. White and green and gray powders were scattered on thebench. Some of them had even fallen on the floor.
    â€œYou might try to be some help,” said Malicia, tapping the walls.
    â€œI don’t know how to look for something that doesn’t look like the thing I’m looking for,” said Keith. “And they keep the poison right next to the sugar! So many poisons…”
    Malicia stood back and brushed her hair out of her eyes.
    â€œThis isn’t working,” she said.
    â€œI suppose there might not be a secret passage?” said Maurice. “I know it’s a rather daring idea, but perhaps this is just an ordinary shed?”
    Even Maurice recoiled a little from the force of the stare Malicia turned on him.
    â€œThere has to be a secret passage,” she said. “Otherwise there’s no point .”
    She snapped her fingers. “Of course! We’re doing it wrong! Everyone knows you never find the secret passage by looking for it! It’s when you give up and