Darling, what do you think?
“Positively sublime. She’s so going to be the siren bride. Time to get her into her dress.”
I watched as Monique gathered the gown and carefully lifted off the plastic. Ten minutes later, with the helping hands of her assistants, I was in it and wearing my white satin heels along with the glittery starfish headpiece.
I glared at my reflection in the three-way mirror. The bride was supposed to look radiant, but I was anything but. My glazed, heavily made-up eyes blinked back tears. Despite the alterations, the ruffly mermaid-style dress still fit all wrong and the butt pad made me look distorted.
I was swimming in my dress.
I was drowning in a sea of sorrow.
I was floundering for words.
Monique screwed up her face. “How dare you lose more weight! My assistants are going to have to make some last minute alterations.”
Enid growled. “I’m going to charge Helen extra for all the unnecessary work and stress you’ve caused us.”
And what about all the stress she’d caused me? I held back treacherous tears as Monique’s clones began to pin the vomiticious creation down the sides. I so wanted my mom.
Back in my robe, I stumbled to a couch and sat down hunched over. One hand cupped my head, the other my tummy. While Enid excused herself to check on what was going on outside, Monique watched over her assistants as they worked together to stitch down the gown with the portable sewing machine they’d brought along. My cell phone rang. My heart pounding, I slipped it out of the robe pocket. Blake again. More great news! His dad’s private plane had landed in Dallas and my parents were on their way. He promised to keep me posted.
“How are you feeling?” he asked. after sharing the good news.
The truth: Like crap. Though my case of nerves had subsided, the shooting pains in my abdomen were coming at me more frequently and sharply. Clutching my stomach, I lied through my teeth and told Blake I was feeling a little better. He didn’t need more stress.
“Baby, hang in there. I can’t wait to say ‘I do’,” he breathed into the phone.
“The same. I love you.” He returned the words and ended the call as another bolt of pain shot through me. While most brides probably wanted their wedding day to last forever, I couldn’t wait for mine to be over. Anxiously, I fiddled with my glittering snowflake diamond ring. The memory of Blake surprising me with it—hidden in a snow globe no less—danced in my head and temporarily took my mind off all my troubles.
A familiar voice cut into the fond memory and widened the small smile on my face. Grandma!
“Bubala, I heard you’re coming down vith something. Flu shmu! I brought you a bissel of my chicken soup. Jewish penicillin.”
“Enid’s going to get mad you’re here.”
“Enid shmenid.” Handing me a steaming bowl of her aromatic soup, she plopped down next to me on the velvet couch. “Eat!” she commanded.
“Thanks, Grandma,” I murmured, forcing myself to put a tablespoon of the hot broth to my lips. I blew on it and then sipped the flavorful liquid. You know what? The soup was magical. As it coursed through me, I felt a little better. I helped myself to several tablespoons more.
“Mmmm. So good. I’ll never make it as good as you.”
Grandma flicked her wrist dismissively. “Bubala, you’ll learn.”
“What the hell are you doing?” Enid. She was back. At the sound of her shrill voice, I almost choked on a mouthful of soup.
“Vhat does it look like?” barked Grandma as I coughed.
“Give that to me,” hissed Enid, stomping my way. “You’re going to totally ruin your lipstick.”
“Here you go, you klafte .” Before I could blink, Grandma snatched my spoon and scooped up a matzo ball from the half-full bowl. My face lit up as she flung the giant ball at Enid. Whoot! It smacked the bitch in the face. Enid shrieked.
“How dare you!” she cried, wiping the crumbly fragments off her cheeks. Her
“Positively sublime. She’s so going to be the siren bride. Time to get her into her dress.”
I watched as Monique gathered the gown and carefully lifted off the plastic. Ten minutes later, with the helping hands of her assistants, I was in it and wearing my white satin heels along with the glittery starfish headpiece.
I glared at my reflection in the three-way mirror. The bride was supposed to look radiant, but I was anything but. My glazed, heavily made-up eyes blinked back tears. Despite the alterations, the ruffly mermaid-style dress still fit all wrong and the butt pad made me look distorted.
I was swimming in my dress.
I was drowning in a sea of sorrow.
I was floundering for words.
Monique screwed up her face. “How dare you lose more weight! My assistants are going to have to make some last minute alterations.”
Enid growled. “I’m going to charge Helen extra for all the unnecessary work and stress you’ve caused us.”
And what about all the stress she’d caused me? I held back treacherous tears as Monique’s clones began to pin the vomiticious creation down the sides. I so wanted my mom.
Back in my robe, I stumbled to a couch and sat down hunched over. One hand cupped my head, the other my tummy. While Enid excused herself to check on what was going on outside, Monique watched over her assistants as they worked together to stitch down the gown with the portable sewing machine they’d brought along. My cell phone rang. My heart pounding, I slipped it out of the robe pocket. Blake again. More great news! His dad’s private plane had landed in Dallas and my parents were on their way. He promised to keep me posted.
“How are you feeling?” he asked. after sharing the good news.
The truth: Like crap. Though my case of nerves had subsided, the shooting pains in my abdomen were coming at me more frequently and sharply. Clutching my stomach, I lied through my teeth and told Blake I was feeling a little better. He didn’t need more stress.
“Baby, hang in there. I can’t wait to say ‘I do’,” he breathed into the phone.
“The same. I love you.” He returned the words and ended the call as another bolt of pain shot through me. While most brides probably wanted their wedding day to last forever, I couldn’t wait for mine to be over. Anxiously, I fiddled with my glittering snowflake diamond ring. The memory of Blake surprising me with it—hidden in a snow globe no less—danced in my head and temporarily took my mind off all my troubles.
A familiar voice cut into the fond memory and widened the small smile on my face. Grandma!
“Bubala, I heard you’re coming down vith something. Flu shmu! I brought you a bissel of my chicken soup. Jewish penicillin.”
“Enid’s going to get mad you’re here.”
“Enid shmenid.” Handing me a steaming bowl of her aromatic soup, she plopped down next to me on the velvet couch. “Eat!” she commanded.
“Thanks, Grandma,” I murmured, forcing myself to put a tablespoon of the hot broth to my lips. I blew on it and then sipped the flavorful liquid. You know what? The soup was magical. As it coursed through me, I felt a little better. I helped myself to several tablespoons more.
“Mmmm. So good. I’ll never make it as good as you.”
Grandma flicked her wrist dismissively. “Bubala, you’ll learn.”
“What the hell are you doing?” Enid. She was back. At the sound of her shrill voice, I almost choked on a mouthful of soup.
“Vhat does it look like?” barked Grandma as I coughed.
“Give that to me,” hissed Enid, stomping my way. “You’re going to totally ruin your lipstick.”
“Here you go, you klafte .” Before I could blink, Grandma snatched my spoon and scooped up a matzo ball from the half-full bowl. My face lit up as she flung the giant ball at Enid. Whoot! It smacked the bitch in the face. Enid shrieked.
“How dare you!” she cried, wiping the crumbly fragments off her cheeks. Her
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