about her feelings for him
it would help. There was no reason not to—she'd already lost
him. She raised her head and saw that he had put down his paper and was
looking at her. For just a second, before he could hide it, she saw the
pain that looked out of his dark eyes.
She licked her dry lips and her voice was almost a whisper
as she said, "I love you, Shane."
She wasn't prepared for the rage that replaced the
indifference on his face. He crushed the newspaper and threw it across
the room as he shouted, "You'll go to any lengths for a little
financial security won't you? Last night you couldn't bear to have me
touch you but now that you've had time to realize that you can easily
be replaced you tell me you love me. Well, get your act together,
little girl, because it's an amateur production that will never hit the
boards, and, please, spare me your lies!"
Karen cringed and her arms tightened around her legs. He
didn't believe her! But then why should he? Her actions were more
convincing than her words. She'd never make him understand but she had
to try. She couldn't bear to have him think she only wanted his money!
She shook her head and said, "It's not like that, Shane. I
want to make love with you. I have from the beginning, although I
didn't realize it until that afternoon we picnicked in the arbor and
slept in each other's arms. If you'd made love to me then, or the night
I agreed to marry you, I might have been shy and frightened but I would
have come to you eagerly."
He looked at her in amazement as she continued. "It's just
that you changed so after we decided to get married."
He was calmer now. "Changed? How did I change?"
"You got all involved in premarital agreements and wedding
plans and none of it seemed to have anything to do with
me
,
Karen Muir. I got the feeling that any girl would have done—
and it's true, any girl would have. You didn't want
me
,
you wanted a mother for your child!"
Shane opened his mouth to speak but she hurried on. "I
know, you told me in the beginning that's all you wanted, but these
last two weeks you've just ignored me. I've hardly seen you. You
haven't kissed me, or held me. You've seldom even spoken to me except
to ask questions concerning our wedding plans."
Once more he tried to speak and again she stopped him.
"The wedding was beautiful but it was too big and impersonal. There
were hundreds of people and I didn't know any of them. Then we got
separated, and by the time you came for me it was like going to bed
with a stranger. I—I didn't know you anymore."
With a little sob she put her face back down on her knees
and sat there, curled tightly into a ball. For several minutes the
silence in the room was total. Finally she raised her head slightly and
saw Shane slumped back against the couch with his hands over his face.
He looked almost as tired as she felt. Was there any way they could
salvage this disaster?
He took his hands away from his face and looked at her,
his eyes filled with tenderness and remorse. His voice was gentle as he
said, "Karen, come here."
She got up obediently and went to him and he pulled her
down on the couch and cuddled her close against him. Her heart leaped
at his nearness and she sighed with relief. At least he wasn't mad at
her anymore! He tipped her white, pinched face up and studied it before
he kissed her puffy eyelids and said, "You look awful."
Her finger traced the lines around his mouth and at the
corner of his eyes as she answered. "You don't look so good either."
"Did you sleep at all?"
"A little, just before daylight. Did you?"
"No, nor did I deserve to." He brushed her hair back and
pressed her head into the hollow of his shoulder. "I've treated you
shamefully, little one, though it was never my intention. I wanted to
take care of you but I should have adopted you instead of marrying you.
You need a father not a husband."
"No, Shane!" She jerked her head up and looked at him.
"I'm your wife and I want to stay your
it would help. There was no reason not to—she'd already lost
him. She raised her head and saw that he had put down his paper and was
looking at her. For just a second, before he could hide it, she saw the
pain that looked out of his dark eyes.
She licked her dry lips and her voice was almost a whisper
as she said, "I love you, Shane."
She wasn't prepared for the rage that replaced the
indifference on his face. He crushed the newspaper and threw it across
the room as he shouted, "You'll go to any lengths for a little
financial security won't you? Last night you couldn't bear to have me
touch you but now that you've had time to realize that you can easily
be replaced you tell me you love me. Well, get your act together,
little girl, because it's an amateur production that will never hit the
boards, and, please, spare me your lies!"
Karen cringed and her arms tightened around her legs. He
didn't believe her! But then why should he? Her actions were more
convincing than her words. She'd never make him understand but she had
to try. She couldn't bear to have him think she only wanted his money!
She shook her head and said, "It's not like that, Shane. I
want to make love with you. I have from the beginning, although I
didn't realize it until that afternoon we picnicked in the arbor and
slept in each other's arms. If you'd made love to me then, or the night
I agreed to marry you, I might have been shy and frightened but I would
have come to you eagerly."
He looked at her in amazement as she continued. "It's just
that you changed so after we decided to get married."
He was calmer now. "Changed? How did I change?"
"You got all involved in premarital agreements and wedding
plans and none of it seemed to have anything to do with
me
,
Karen Muir. I got the feeling that any girl would have done—
and it's true, any girl would have. You didn't want
me
,
you wanted a mother for your child!"
Shane opened his mouth to speak but she hurried on. "I
know, you told me in the beginning that's all you wanted, but these
last two weeks you've just ignored me. I've hardly seen you. You
haven't kissed me, or held me. You've seldom even spoken to me except
to ask questions concerning our wedding plans."
Once more he tried to speak and again she stopped him.
"The wedding was beautiful but it was too big and impersonal. There
were hundreds of people and I didn't know any of them. Then we got
separated, and by the time you came for me it was like going to bed
with a stranger. I—I didn't know you anymore."
With a little sob she put her face back down on her knees
and sat there, curled tightly into a ball. For several minutes the
silence in the room was total. Finally she raised her head slightly and
saw Shane slumped back against the couch with his hands over his face.
He looked almost as tired as she felt. Was there any way they could
salvage this disaster?
He took his hands away from his face and looked at her,
his eyes filled with tenderness and remorse. His voice was gentle as he
said, "Karen, come here."
She got up obediently and went to him and he pulled her
down on the couch and cuddled her close against him. Her heart leaped
at his nearness and she sighed with relief. At least he wasn't mad at
her anymore! He tipped her white, pinched face up and studied it before
he kissed her puffy eyelids and said, "You look awful."
Her finger traced the lines around his mouth and at the
corner of his eyes as she answered. "You don't look so good either."
"Did you sleep at all?"
"A little, just before daylight. Did you?"
"No, nor did I deserve to." He brushed her hair back and
pressed her head into the hollow of his shoulder. "I've treated you
shamefully, little one, though it was never my intention. I wanted to
take care of you but I should have adopted you instead of marrying you.
You need a father not a husband."
"No, Shane!" She jerked her head up and looked at him.
"I'm your wife and I want to stay your
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