it?"
I understood. If it had been Ash and me in the same circumstance, I would have kept the baby, too. How could I do otherwise, if there was the last piece of him to hold onto? "It's going to be hard, with med school and being a single mom."
"I know. But that's what aunts and uncles are for, right?"
I smiled and hugged her. "Right."
Her phone buzzed and she checked it. "Oh, I have to go. The caterer needs to know which kinds of meat to serve first, which of course is something I told them a thousand times, but…" Her voice trailed off as she hurried to address the food crises. I was grateful she had taken charge of everything, because there's no way I could have handled it at this point.
I turned and faced out to sea, breathing in the scent of salt water and ocean air. I loved it out here. So free and clean and alive. Maybe I could talk Ash into buying a boat for us to go out in. That could be fun. And romantic. I imagined making love to him on the deck, with the sound of waves crashing around us and the moon shining down on us.
I closed my eyes, feeling him inside me, feeling our bodies becoming one.
And then pain sliced through me.
I looked down in shock at my left shoulder.
Blood pooled around a small hole.
I'd been shot.
As the world faded away, I tumbled face first into the Atlantic Ocean.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Cold Feet
ONE MONTH AGO
THE WEDDING REHEARSAL ended early and we'd managed to get through it without anyone punching anyone. So I called it a success.
I kissed Ash and smiled. "I need to use the restroom. I'll meet you at the car. Can you grab our stuff?"
"Of course." He pulled me into an embrace. "I can't believe that tomorrow I'll get to call you my wife. I love you, Catelyn."
"I love you too, Ash." His kiss sent chills down my spine and he left me breathlessly grinning like an idiot.
I used the bathroom quickly and on the way out ran into Jon, who'd been stalking the room waiting for me. One look and I could tell from the glossed expression and unsteady stance that he'd had too much to drink.
He grabbed my arm, hard, and slurred my name. "Cat, let's just leave. Tonight, right now. I got tickets for us and money. Paradise could be ours. Let's forget it all and go."
"Jon, I can't do that. Neither of us can do that. We have to stick to the plan. We have to finish what we started."
Chapter Twenty Nine
Sinking Into Nothingness
PRESENT DAY
FLOATING.
Falling.
Embraced by the icy fingers of the sea. They warm ed me, pulling out the pain and numbing me to the other world.
I floated away in a cocoon of water. Away from everything that wanted to hurt me. Away from life.
My vision blurred as I stared at the night sky, imagining stories for each of the stars that glittered like diamonds. If I made a wish right now, would it come true? I didn't know what to wish for, though.
Shouldn't there be more pain?
I'd been shot. I remembered that. And I knew that wasn't part of the plan.
Ash.
I'd left Ash.
The water suddenly felt cold, my body shivering in the dark as I thought about my wedding, my husband, my love. I needed Ash.
I choked on water, sinking into the dark unknown. No, I couldn't let myself die. Couldn't fall asleep or I'd never wake up.
But I was so tired. My body felt so heavy. It just wanted to sink.
Sink.
Sink into nothingness.
I spit out salt water and kicked my legs, flailing my arms in an attempt to stay afloat. My shoulder burned and ached and throbbed with a kind of pain I'd never known before, even after being tortured.
They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes. If I was dying, then that's not how it worked, but I did think about my life as I floated there, suspended between worlds.
I thought back to my family, to the last moments I remembered with my parents. The joy and love I felt for them. The happiness we shared.
I wanted that with Ash. We deserved that, he and I. I'd lost my family and he'd had a family that never wanted him.
I understood. If it had been Ash and me in the same circumstance, I would have kept the baby, too. How could I do otherwise, if there was the last piece of him to hold onto? "It's going to be hard, with med school and being a single mom."
"I know. But that's what aunts and uncles are for, right?"
I smiled and hugged her. "Right."
Her phone buzzed and she checked it. "Oh, I have to go. The caterer needs to know which kinds of meat to serve first, which of course is something I told them a thousand times, but…" Her voice trailed off as she hurried to address the food crises. I was grateful she had taken charge of everything, because there's no way I could have handled it at this point.
I turned and faced out to sea, breathing in the scent of salt water and ocean air. I loved it out here. So free and clean and alive. Maybe I could talk Ash into buying a boat for us to go out in. That could be fun. And romantic. I imagined making love to him on the deck, with the sound of waves crashing around us and the moon shining down on us.
I closed my eyes, feeling him inside me, feeling our bodies becoming one.
And then pain sliced through me.
I looked down in shock at my left shoulder.
Blood pooled around a small hole.
I'd been shot.
As the world faded away, I tumbled face first into the Atlantic Ocean.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Cold Feet
ONE MONTH AGO
THE WEDDING REHEARSAL ended early and we'd managed to get through it without anyone punching anyone. So I called it a success.
I kissed Ash and smiled. "I need to use the restroom. I'll meet you at the car. Can you grab our stuff?"
"Of course." He pulled me into an embrace. "I can't believe that tomorrow I'll get to call you my wife. I love you, Catelyn."
"I love you too, Ash." His kiss sent chills down my spine and he left me breathlessly grinning like an idiot.
I used the bathroom quickly and on the way out ran into Jon, who'd been stalking the room waiting for me. One look and I could tell from the glossed expression and unsteady stance that he'd had too much to drink.
He grabbed my arm, hard, and slurred my name. "Cat, let's just leave. Tonight, right now. I got tickets for us and money. Paradise could be ours. Let's forget it all and go."
"Jon, I can't do that. Neither of us can do that. We have to stick to the plan. We have to finish what we started."
Chapter Twenty Nine
Sinking Into Nothingness
PRESENT DAY
FLOATING.
Falling.
Embraced by the icy fingers of the sea. They warm ed me, pulling out the pain and numbing me to the other world.
I floated away in a cocoon of water. Away from everything that wanted to hurt me. Away from life.
My vision blurred as I stared at the night sky, imagining stories for each of the stars that glittered like diamonds. If I made a wish right now, would it come true? I didn't know what to wish for, though.
Shouldn't there be more pain?
I'd been shot. I remembered that. And I knew that wasn't part of the plan.
Ash.
I'd left Ash.
The water suddenly felt cold, my body shivering in the dark as I thought about my wedding, my husband, my love. I needed Ash.
I choked on water, sinking into the dark unknown. No, I couldn't let myself die. Couldn't fall asleep or I'd never wake up.
But I was so tired. My body felt so heavy. It just wanted to sink.
Sink.
Sink into nothingness.
I spit out salt water and kicked my legs, flailing my arms in an attempt to stay afloat. My shoulder burned and ached and throbbed with a kind of pain I'd never known before, even after being tortured.
They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes. If I was dying, then that's not how it worked, but I did think about my life as I floated there, suspended between worlds.
I thought back to my family, to the last moments I remembered with my parents. The joy and love I felt for them. The happiness we shared.
I wanted that with Ash. We deserved that, he and I. I'd lost my family and he'd had a family that never wanted him.
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