TEEN MOM TELLS ALL by Katrina Robinson Page B

couldn’t stop crying. During birth, I was sick to my stomach. I probably vomited at
least 5 times that day. Fear overtook me and I didn’t have a soul
to lean on. The nurse who came to comfort
me and hold my hand was no consolation to me. She was a stranger
too. All I could do was lie on that table and recall the promises
my boyfriend made. I had flashbacks of bad
memories too. I was so glad when surgery was over. My son was
finally born. I was wheeled back to my room afterward, but I lost a
lot of blood. I couldn’t even stand up the next day without
fainting. I almost killed the nurse that tried to break my fall.
She fell too. I stayed in the hospital for a few days. My boyfriend
never contacted me. I just gave up on his father and decided it’s
me and the baby. He was so precious at birth. All babies are.
Holding my son helped me forget about some of the pain. He was as
the bible would say “a goodly child”. Strong, healthy, and cute as
a button. His father missed out on that.
     
    We moved from place to
place; living with parents, family members, in a shelter, to living
with a guy. I lost possessions with every move. It wasn’t a time to
try and hold on to anything of sentimental value, and it hurt. We
were unstable, and would be for the next few years. I remember
living off food stamps, medical assistance, and cash assistance
just like my mom did. I remember the low wage jobs, trying to get
day care and trying to find a house all at the same time. I
remember waking up some days and saying, “I’m so ashamed of myself.
What am I going to do? What’s going to happen to us?”
     
    My uncle saw me struggling
and suggested applying for unemployment. Unemployment benefits? I
had never heard of unemployment before. I caught the bus to the
unemployment office, and signed up. There was quite a bit of money
paid into my insurance. That money carried me for a little while.
Renting a house was a first for me, but I had to find one. The
townhouses I found were cheap and in the middle of nowhere. The buses ran once every
2 hours. It was the cheapest rental I
could find. Tidewater Village, I’ll never forget that place. My
first permanent home away from home. The
rental office denied me, but would approve if I had a co-signer.
Thank God for my dad. He co-signed so the kids and I could have a
roof over our heads.
     
    My second child was born
right on schedule. No C-section this time. I had a healthy baby
girl by regular birth. She wasn’t like her brother, she cried a
lot. It didn’t bother me any. It’s something about motherhood that
helps with all the pain and strain. When I left the hospital, I
stayed with my mother for a few days to recuperate, then went back
to my house. Anyone who came to visit that had a car got the royal
treatment. I had one baby on my hip and one baby in the stroller
riding the buses to get around. Can you imagine trying to go
grocery shopping on the bus with a toddler and an infant in the
strollers? Can you imagine the days it was raining? I didn’t have enough hands to carry the
groceries, stroller, diaper bag, and pocket book. We did a lot of borrowing too. I can see how God
kept me from getting hooked on drugs or alcohol. That’s all people
did out there in those woods was get high, get drunk, and have sex.
I still had a made up mind that I can do
better . My father brought a few pieces of
used furniture to start us off. My boyfriend re-appeared for a
short time, bought a few things, and then disappeared again. This
time, I was ready.
     
    The unemployment job
service helped me get a resume together and start applying for
clerical jobs. I kept those resumes and applications going out
despite deep depression, anxiety and hopelessness.
     
    A community college
contacted me for a job as a grant funded part-time secretary
position. You talk about excited! That wasn’t the word! An
interview for a real job – with real benefits. What was I going to
wear? None of the money that came through