Tattoos: A Novel by Denise Mathew Page A

I was so far removed from being crafty that it was like we were in different time zones. Once more Jax had caught me off guard. I didn’t understand how he seemed to know so much about me. Rather than quiz him about his assumptions I let it go.
    “Then what?”
    “I was thinking more like the whole bucket list thing,” he said. His words made my breath catch. He grabbed my hand and massaged my fingers with his. I was a little amazed at how he’d grasped my hand as if we were a couple.
      “Bucket lists aren’t just for people who have cancer. As far as I’m concerned everybody should have one because no one knows how long were here for. It’s best to get what we can get done when the gettings good.”  
    I stared at him with what I knew was a dreamy expression. As soon as I recognized that I was swooning like a tween at a Twilight movie, I dropped my eyes. I focused on his tattoos. Even I didn’t understand why I was so taken with them. It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen them before. I guess I was interested because I knew that every tattoo that Jax had, carried a hidden meaning and symbolized some part of who he was.  
    I shook my head, attempting to come up with something that would actually make me want to get out of bed every day, something of value. Out of nowhere Mom and Harold’s faces flashed into my mind. I knew it was childish, but I wanted to make them pay for screwing with my life, for rejecting me. There was no doubting that they’d always provided me with everything material that I needed, but that was where it had ended. Buried in things, I’d somehow been able to cope with the fact that to Mom I was merely a life sized doll. A toy that she could take out shopping, dress in cute clothes and who she could forget when she was bored. I wondered why I’d ever thought that me being sick would change any of that.  
    Then it came to me in a moment of insight that left me grinning.
    “What is it?” Jax asked, cocking his head to the side. A boyish smile curved his lips. My heart thrummed a little faster in my chest. My excitement was a mixture of being with Jax, and also the plan that I’d just cooked up. A plan that as far as I could see would matter enough to keep me hoping for a cure.
    “I’ve always wanted to do the whole university thing, in fact I’ve already applied to a few schools for next year…”  
    Jax nodded, his brow furrowed. His puzzled expression told me he had no idea where I was going.
    “I’m going to use my university funds to help people,” I said, too excited by the concept to hold back.
    Jax nodded. “That sounds very noble, but won’t you need the money for school?”
    I sighed. “Right now I don’t even know if I’m going to school, I don’t even know if I’m going to be alive next year…”
    He snatched up my hand. “You’re going to be here for a long time,” he said. I heard the desperation in his voice. I knew he was trying to hide his fear, but he hadn’t quite managed to pull it off. Seeing his anxiety made me sorry that I’d made him feel that way.
    “What I should say, is that I don’t know if I’ll even get into any schools next year. I can’t guarantee that I’ll graduate if I miss too much school. There’s a good possibility that I might have to repeat this year. If that’s the case I won’t need the money for school as soon as I’d originally planned. Besides, Mom and Harold brought this on themselves by banning me from home. If they hadn’t of done it, I wouldn’t have ever thought to do this. Not to mention that they have more money than they can spend in a lifetime.”  
    Jax considered my words then nodded. “You do have a point.” He leaned in closer until our shoulders were touching. I sucked in a quick breath, quietly exhilarated at the casualness of the move. We were so close now that every breath I took made the hair that fell over his ear move in response.  
    “So how would you help them?” he said.
    He had hit on