life. It wasn’t fair to you or Grant that I kept any of
that a secret.”
“It wasn’t just unfair, Katie. It was like
lying.”
She screwed up the right side of her lip.
“Yeah. I guess you’re right. But I want you to know I never meant
to hurt you.” She heard her voice wavering and fought to keep it
steady. “I want to know that we’re still friends.”
Johnny shrugged but said nothing. Katie felt
that she had to keep going, had to say everything that had been on
her mind for so long. “You made me realize something, Johnny. I
didn’t realize how miserable I was with my life until you came back
in it. I had settled down, really settled for a boring,
unsatisfying life, but you made me see that I wasn’t happy. So the
good news is that I am making some changes, big changes, in my
life. I’m too young to be saddled to a job I hate, in a house I’m
not happy with, in a life that makes me sad. So...thank you for
helping me see that.”
Johnny’s eyes seemed to soften. After a few
moments, he said, “Good for you. You should do what makes you
happy.”
The knot in her stomach moved up and wound
itself around her heart. “Johnny?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we okay? I know I’ve betrayed you, but
can you ever forgive me? I just want to know we’re going to be
okay.”
Johnny’s jaw was clamped tight. At last, he
opened his mouth and said quietly, “Yes, Katie, we’re still
friends. But I need time. And space. I really don’t want to talk
about this anymore, and I have work to get back to.” She nodded,
her eyes drifting down to look at the Harley-Davidson logo on his
t-shirt. He didn’t say anything until she forced herself to look at
him again. “So, are we done?”
That hurt. Katie couldn’t keep looking in
his eyes, and they dropped back to his chest. “Yeah, I guess
so.”
And, with that, he went back in the bar as
fresh tears streaked her cheeks. She found solace in the fact that
Johnny said their friendship was still there even though he needed
time away from her. She’d be sure to give him that.
Part
II
Chapter
Ten
Katie sat at the table in the creative
writing lab, letting her pencil draw swirls on the notebook paper
in front of her. She hadn’t had a student sit at the table in over
an hour, and she was biding her time until she could leave. She
considered drafting a poem for her poetry workshop class, but she
knew that a student was sure to show up if she started. So she
continued to doodle.
While her pencil moved, her mind wandered
too. She was giving serious thought to Daniel, the history
professor who’d been asking her to go on a date for several months.
She hadn’t told him “no” outright, and so he kept asking.
She’d met him this morning at the college
coffee cart, and they’d sat at a table to talk for a few minutes.
They’d first met back in September at that very same place. He’d
asked her what she taught. She’d laughed at his mistake and
explained that she was a new graduate student in Creative Writing.
As an apology, he bought her coffee and they sat and chatted. He
was tall with broad shoulders and dirty blonde hair and at least
five years older than Katie. But he wasn’t bad looking and was
charming, with his quick smile and gentle voice. Before they parted
ways that day, he’d asked Katie for her phone number. Katie gave it
to him but also warned him that she was, for the time, not ready to
date. He said, “No pressure,” and the two of them continued to meet
for coffee once a week. During the spring semester, they were still
able to meet on Wednesday mornings; they just met a little later in
the morning than they had in the fall.
This morning, Daniel had asked again. He’d
said, “Look, Kate, I understand how past relationships can damage.”
He laughed. “Why do you think I’m almost forty and have never been
married?” She lowered her eyes, first to the table and then to the
ring finger he was tapping on with his right index
that a secret.”
“It wasn’t just unfair, Katie. It was like
lying.”
She screwed up the right side of her lip.
“Yeah. I guess you’re right. But I want you to know I never meant
to hurt you.” She heard her voice wavering and fought to keep it
steady. “I want to know that we’re still friends.”
Johnny shrugged but said nothing. Katie felt
that she had to keep going, had to say everything that had been on
her mind for so long. “You made me realize something, Johnny. I
didn’t realize how miserable I was with my life until you came back
in it. I had settled down, really settled for a boring,
unsatisfying life, but you made me see that I wasn’t happy. So the
good news is that I am making some changes, big changes, in my
life. I’m too young to be saddled to a job I hate, in a house I’m
not happy with, in a life that makes me sad. So...thank you for
helping me see that.”
Johnny’s eyes seemed to soften. After a few
moments, he said, “Good for you. You should do what makes you
happy.”
The knot in her stomach moved up and wound
itself around her heart. “Johnny?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we okay? I know I’ve betrayed you, but
can you ever forgive me? I just want to know we’re going to be
okay.”
Johnny’s jaw was clamped tight. At last, he
opened his mouth and said quietly, “Yes, Katie, we’re still
friends. But I need time. And space. I really don’t want to talk
about this anymore, and I have work to get back to.” She nodded,
her eyes drifting down to look at the Harley-Davidson logo on his
t-shirt. He didn’t say anything until she forced herself to look at
him again. “So, are we done?”
That hurt. Katie couldn’t keep looking in
his eyes, and they dropped back to his chest. “Yeah, I guess
so.”
And, with that, he went back in the bar as
fresh tears streaked her cheeks. She found solace in the fact that
Johnny said their friendship was still there even though he needed
time away from her. She’d be sure to give him that.
Part
II
Chapter
Ten
Katie sat at the table in the creative
writing lab, letting her pencil draw swirls on the notebook paper
in front of her. She hadn’t had a student sit at the table in over
an hour, and she was biding her time until she could leave. She
considered drafting a poem for her poetry workshop class, but she
knew that a student was sure to show up if she started. So she
continued to doodle.
While her pencil moved, her mind wandered
too. She was giving serious thought to Daniel, the history
professor who’d been asking her to go on a date for several months.
She hadn’t told him “no” outright, and so he kept asking.
She’d met him this morning at the college
coffee cart, and they’d sat at a table to talk for a few minutes.
They’d first met back in September at that very same place. He’d
asked her what she taught. She’d laughed at his mistake and
explained that she was a new graduate student in Creative Writing.
As an apology, he bought her coffee and they sat and chatted. He
was tall with broad shoulders and dirty blonde hair and at least
five years older than Katie. But he wasn’t bad looking and was
charming, with his quick smile and gentle voice. Before they parted
ways that day, he’d asked Katie for her phone number. Katie gave it
to him but also warned him that she was, for the time, not ready to
date. He said, “No pressure,” and the two of them continued to meet
for coffee once a week. During the spring semester, they were still
able to meet on Wednesday mornings; they just met a little later in
the morning than they had in the fall.
This morning, Daniel had asked again. He’d
said, “Look, Kate, I understand how past relationships can damage.”
He laughed. “Why do you think I’m almost forty and have never been
married?” She lowered her eyes, first to the table and then to the
ring finger he was tapping on with his right index
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