degree.
‘That kiss was pretty hot, huh?’
‘God, it’s hard to be your friend sometimes.’
‘Because you want to fuck me, right?’ She put her hand on the bulge in his jeans. Ashamed, he stood up and moved away, but she followed. She stood in front of him and took his hands. ‘It’s okay. I want it too. I want it so much.’
‘What? Sarah, I–’ Her kiss cut him off. He knew this was impossible, a dream, a joke. But her kiss felt genuine. ‘Sarah, wait a second, I–’
‘You don’t want to fuck me?’ She was unbuttoning his jeans.
‘No, I do, but–’
‘Jamie, listen to me. I have never been so wet in my entire life. I had no idea it was even possible to be this wet. You understand me? I need you to fuck me right fucking now.’
And he could not believe how much he wanted to do that. They started for the bedroom but it was so far away. The hall carpetwas soft. She was softer. They were both fully clothed. Jeans pulled down just far enough and underwear pushed to the side. He wanted to keep touching her because she was so soft and open and wet but she was pushing his hand away and guiding him into her.
We don’t have much time
. It didn’t matter because he was already coming. There was no condom, and Jamie was pleased because it meant he could feel her properly. Feel himself pumping into her, filling her up. His precious, precious Sarah.
Shelley returned as they were sitting back down at the table. While Shelley hung the keys on the hook near the door, Sarah emptied the bourbon bottle down her throat. She lit a cigarette, and Jamie noticed her hands were shaking.
‘Booze is all gone,’ she said. ‘Guess I’ll be off.’
‘I’ll drive you,’ he said, meaning
I love you
.
‘You’re too drunk. I’ll walk.’
Shelley sighed. ‘I’ll take you. Come on.’
Sarah stood. ‘No, really. I’ll walk.’ She kissed Jamie on the forehead, cradling the back of his head in her hand for just a moment. Then she thanked Shelley for dinner and was gone.
7
Mike stood in the doorway, jiggling his car keys, hopping from one foot to the other. ‘Jamie, mate, come to the pub?’
Jamie emphatically did not want to go to the pub with Mike. He had to wait at home until Sarah called; he couldn’t call her, because Shelley would want to know why he was calling Sarah only twelve hours after he’d last seen her.
‘Please, Mike, get him out of here.’ Shelley handed Jamie his wallet. ‘He’s got ants in his pants this morning. Driving me insane.’
‘I need to–’
‘Have a nice time.’ Shelley kissed his forehead, gave him a shove and the door was closed behind him.
They sat in the beer garden, which was empty at this time of the morning, and Mike spent ten or so minutes tearing his coaster into tiny pieces while Jamie cursed himself for not grabbing his mobile phone on the way out. He tried to remember where the nearest public phone was.
‘So, ah…’ Mike stared off into the distance behind Jamie’s left ear. ‘About Sarah. Did you and her used to go out or what?’
Jamie’s gut twisted. ‘No, we never… We’ve always been mates.’
‘Yeah, but… You’ve had a go at her?’
‘Whatever that means.’
Mike gave him a contemptuous look. ‘You’ve screwed her?’
Jamie took a gulp of beer, which seemed to solidify in his throat. With effort, he swallowed it. ‘Just the…’ He cleared his throat. ‘Just the once. We were sixteen. Pissed.’
‘Yeah, and? She’s a firecracker, right?’
‘Yeah, I suppose.’
‘Ah, mate, I am hanging out for some of that.’
Jamie sat silently for another minute. He was no good at talking to men about intimate things; he was missing the instinct that seemed to tell other blokes how sincere they could be without crossing the line into effeminacy. But the thought of slick, shallow Mike grunting all over Sarah made his already upset stomach churn.
‘You’re not thinking of going after Sarah, are you?’
Mike looked surprised.
‘That kiss was pretty hot, huh?’
‘God, it’s hard to be your friend sometimes.’
‘Because you want to fuck me, right?’ She put her hand on the bulge in his jeans. Ashamed, he stood up and moved away, but she followed. She stood in front of him and took his hands. ‘It’s okay. I want it too. I want it so much.’
‘What? Sarah, I–’ Her kiss cut him off. He knew this was impossible, a dream, a joke. But her kiss felt genuine. ‘Sarah, wait a second, I–’
‘You don’t want to fuck me?’ She was unbuttoning his jeans.
‘No, I do, but–’
‘Jamie, listen to me. I have never been so wet in my entire life. I had no idea it was even possible to be this wet. You understand me? I need you to fuck me right fucking now.’
And he could not believe how much he wanted to do that. They started for the bedroom but it was so far away. The hall carpetwas soft. She was softer. They were both fully clothed. Jeans pulled down just far enough and underwear pushed to the side. He wanted to keep touching her because she was so soft and open and wet but she was pushing his hand away and guiding him into her.
We don’t have much time
. It didn’t matter because he was already coming. There was no condom, and Jamie was pleased because it meant he could feel her properly. Feel himself pumping into her, filling her up. His precious, precious Sarah.
Shelley returned as they were sitting back down at the table. While Shelley hung the keys on the hook near the door, Sarah emptied the bourbon bottle down her throat. She lit a cigarette, and Jamie noticed her hands were shaking.
‘Booze is all gone,’ she said. ‘Guess I’ll be off.’
‘I’ll drive you,’ he said, meaning
I love you
.
‘You’re too drunk. I’ll walk.’
Shelley sighed. ‘I’ll take you. Come on.’
Sarah stood. ‘No, really. I’ll walk.’ She kissed Jamie on the forehead, cradling the back of his head in her hand for just a moment. Then she thanked Shelley for dinner and was gone.
7
Mike stood in the doorway, jiggling his car keys, hopping from one foot to the other. ‘Jamie, mate, come to the pub?’
Jamie emphatically did not want to go to the pub with Mike. He had to wait at home until Sarah called; he couldn’t call her, because Shelley would want to know why he was calling Sarah only twelve hours after he’d last seen her.
‘Please, Mike, get him out of here.’ Shelley handed Jamie his wallet. ‘He’s got ants in his pants this morning. Driving me insane.’
‘I need to–’
‘Have a nice time.’ Shelley kissed his forehead, gave him a shove and the door was closed behind him.
They sat in the beer garden, which was empty at this time of the morning, and Mike spent ten or so minutes tearing his coaster into tiny pieces while Jamie cursed himself for not grabbing his mobile phone on the way out. He tried to remember where the nearest public phone was.
‘So, ah…’ Mike stared off into the distance behind Jamie’s left ear. ‘About Sarah. Did you and her used to go out or what?’
Jamie’s gut twisted. ‘No, we never… We’ve always been mates.’
‘Yeah, but… You’ve had a go at her?’
‘Whatever that means.’
Mike gave him a contemptuous look. ‘You’ve screwed her?’
Jamie took a gulp of beer, which seemed to solidify in his throat. With effort, he swallowed it. ‘Just the…’ He cleared his throat. ‘Just the once. We were sixteen. Pissed.’
‘Yeah, and? She’s a firecracker, right?’
‘Yeah, I suppose.’
‘Ah, mate, I am hanging out for some of that.’
Jamie sat silently for another minute. He was no good at talking to men about intimate things; he was missing the instinct that seemed to tell other blokes how sincere they could be without crossing the line into effeminacy. But the thought of slick, shallow Mike grunting all over Sarah made his already upset stomach churn.
‘You’re not thinking of going after Sarah, are you?’
Mike looked surprised.
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