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and the truth of it would cause him nothing but added stress and heartache.
He knew that although I was happy to stay here with him at the castle in Glen Lyon, there was a sadness that, no matter how hard I tried every day to banish it, had come to settle within me. But the deepest places of my heart knew the truth of my fears whether I voiced them or not. It was the root of these new fears that continued to haunt my dreams at night. It was the fear that his people would never accept me, and that I would be forced to leave this place, and him.
***
The next morning I rode down to the small village of Fortingall. It was nice to get out of the keep for a while, and visiting my friend Iona was the perfect excuse to put some distance between myself and the castle walls.
I pulled the kettle off the heat and poured the water for our tea. Iona leaned heavily on her cane, moving slowly around her small kitchen, and placed a few sweet cakes on a plate before setting it on the small table between us.
"Oh, Iona, you didn't have to go through such trouble for me," I told the old woman, touched by the kindness of the gesture.
"Nonsense, dear. You're kind to take the time to spend such a beautiful day with an old woman like me. Ye know that I've no one left to spoil. You've become the closest thing that I have to a granddaughter."
I smiled at her, moved by the generosity she showed me, even though she had so little. I had come to be very fond of the widow, and in the short time that we had known each other I had come to think of her as family as well. My own grandparents were dead and gone, and it was nice to have someone older and wiser whom I felt free to go to for guidance. Especially now that I was so far from home.
"I love coming to spend time with you," I told her. "And besides, without these visits to the village, what would there be to keep me out of trouble at the castle?"
"Not finding much for ye to do up there to fill your days?" she asked.
"Sadly, no. Though it pains me to say, I'm not actually very skilled at anything other than riding. But that's not much of a help to anyone, now is it? It's not as if I can go work with the grooms all day."
"No, I can see how ye might be feeling at loose ends." She nodded. "And the rest? How have ye been sleeping since your last visit? You look as though you've had a rough night of it." Iona leaned in to examine my face closely. The corner of her mouth turned down in a disapproving frown at the dark circles I knew to be beneath my eyes, betraying my troubled night's sleep.
Taking a sip of tea, I shrugged my shoulders slightly and avoided her eye.
"Don't worry, it will get easier," she said, nodding with certainty.
"I try to not dwell on it once I'm awake. I know that nothing will make it easier but time. Almost everyone at the keep and in the village has been perfectly nice to me, but I can't help feeling like an outsider. I was hoping that bringing food to those in need in Fortingall would help. That the people would see that I want to be a part of their lives and this clan, but I still feel very much the intruder," I confided in her. "I can feel their resistance to my being here. It has been three months now, and I swear to you I can feel people's eyes traveling to my waistline, waiting to see if I carry the MacGregor's child. What makes it worse is that I know they would never forgive me if I did."
"Can you blame them, child, for being afraid?" she asked gently.
"No." I shook my head." Of course not. They need to know that there will be an heir who carries the wolf within him. And I want that for Alastair—I mean the MacGregor. But I have no wolf, and I cannot give him a wolf son. He says that it makes no difference to him so long as we are together, but how can that be?"
"He loves you, Glenna, and love is a powerful thing. Before I lost my Liam, it felt like our love for one another had the power to move the very mountains themselves. That's probably why it was such a
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