Take My Dress Off by S. Gilmour Page B

I’m here,” I whispered, reaching up to stroke his cheek. “Do you want to talk?”
    He shook his head and his eyes closed. “I just want to hold you.”
    I clung to his bare chest as his hands gently caressed my back. I wondered how long before he would pull away. So far our make-out sessions had been pretty brief and incredibly frustrating, he was always holding back. He surprised me when his lips brushed across mine. Every nerve in my body awakened and I had to remind myself that I wasn’t dreaming. His hands traveled down my back and cupped my butt as he pushed his tongue between my teeth. Our tongues entwined and tangled as he rolled on top of me and settled between my legs. His demanding desire pressed against my pubic bone and I didn’t want to stop him but I knew I wasn’t ready to go where he wanted to go. He released my lips from his and we both gasped for air as the heat rose from our sweaty bodies. He slipped his hands between my back and the mattress and unhooked my bra. Eager hands pushed under the cups and caressed my breasts as a million tiny fireworks went off in my chest.
    “Let me kiss them.”
    He didn’t wait for an answer and lowered his head to my breasts, sucking the sensitive buds to hard points as I buried my hands in his hair. When his hand slipped under the waistband of my underwear alarms went off in my head. No matter how good this felt and how much I didn’t want him to stop, I had to stop him.
    Now.
    If we didn’t stop there was no going back. His fingers hooked into the elastic and he started to slip my underwear down my hips.
    “Chaz, stop.” I reached for his hands.
    “What’s wrong?”
    I pulled his head up and looked into his glassy eyes. He was high.
    “Chaz, I don’t want our first time to be like this.”
    He lifted up on his elbows and tried to focus on my eyes. “It’s okay. You know I love you.”
    He loves me?
    “Let’s sleep on this for now,” I said and wrapped the sheet around me. I rolled over and snuggled my back into him. Two guys had tried to fuck me tonight, one drunk, one high. Brilliant. He scooped his arms under me and pulled me against his chest in a smothering hug.
    “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he sniffed. I could feel his tears falling into my hair. We fell asleep and at dawn I slipped out of his embrace. I kissed him on the cheek and told him I had to go. He didn’t open his eyes but he smiled.
    ***
    “What happened?”
    “We almost did it.”
    “No fucking joke!”
    I took the phone into the bathroom and shut the door. Maddie was outside sunbathing but I didn’t want to take any chances.
    “Tell me everything,” Danielle demanded. I told her. Everything. Danielle was the expert on relationships. She knew everything about sex. “Holy shit! People always want sex when they’re grieving. I read it in Cosmo . Are you going to see him today? When is the funeral?”
    Funeral? I hadn’t even thought about that.
    “I don’t know. Should I call him?” I soaked a cotton ball in acetone.
    “No, his house is probably crazy right now. Wait for the smoke to clear. He’ll call you when he can.”
    “I hope he isn’t mad at me for last night.” I wiped the soaked cotton ball over a green polished toe.
    “Why would he be mad at you? You went pretty far,” she giggled.
    “If he even remembers,” I muttered. “Do you think he’ll remember?” I soaked another cotton ball.
    “Uh… duh.”
    “Have you heard from Shane?”
    “No. Fuck him. He had his thirty seconds of heaven. We’re so over. Moving on.” That was Danielle’s way of saying we weren’t going to talk about it.
    I changed the subject. “Did Donny get you home okay?”
    “Yeah and get this. Right as we got to my house Dillon puked all over the back seat.”
    I laughed so hard I knocked the bottle of acetone onto the floor. “Shit! Danielle, I gotta go.” She was still laughing as I hung up the phone.
    I didn’t call Chaz, at first. I took Danielle’s advice and