letter opener across the table.
I stopped it with the edge of my hand and slit the envelope open.
Inside was a dossier. On me. There was also a DVD. A shiver traveled
down my spine. He’d been out there stalking my information. I
wasn’t sure if this felt like a kindness or a threat. I couldn’t
bring myself to read the details just yet.
“Where did you get all this? H-how did you get all this? How do I
know this is the truth? You could be lying like Trevor.”
Shannon shrugged as if it didn’t matter to him one way or the other
what I believed. “I could be. It’s up to you whether you want to
believe what’s in there. But it’s a narrative that doesn’t
include the end of the world. Do what you want with it. I need to
make some calls.”
He got up and put his plate and glass in the sink and ran some water
over them. Then he went to his office down the hall and closed the
door.
I put the papers back inside the envelope without reading them and
took them upstairs to my room. I slid the envelope under my mattress.
I wasn’t ready for more stories about me. Even though I had a
strong feeling these were the stories that were true. Now that I held
it in my hands I was afraid to know that truth.
What kind of a misfit hermit had I been if no one had called the
hospital or police to claim me? Maybe I was afraid to see a bunch of
wasted time staring back at me—no accomplishments to speak of.
Nothing the world cared about. As long as I didn’t know, I could
pretend I’d had a meaningful impact, even though I knew that
couldn’t be true. If it were true, someone would have called.
Someone besides Trevor would have missed me.
When I went back downstairs, the office door was still shut. I eased
up to the door and pressed my ear against it. I could hear Shannon on
the phone. Just barely. He didn’t have a land line, just what he
called a burner . It was a simple black pre-paid cell phone. He
routinely disposed of them and bought new ones.
“I told you I’ve been busy... I got a new pet. I needed to get
her housebroken and acclimated... of course another cat... you know I
can’t have a dog with my travel schedule...” Why did I think I
was the cat in this scenario? Shannon could be lying about how long
he’d had the white cat, but she was far too territorial to be new.
“... No, the money’s not the problem. It’s our agreed rate. You
said it wasn’t dire, so I took you at your word. But I’m ready
now. It’ll be done within the week. Be out of town next Thursday
with people who can account for your whereabouts.”
When the call ended, I practically flew to the living room couch, and
sat there trying to look like I hadn’t just heard what I was nearly
a hundred percent certain was a discussion about killing someone.
Shannon came out and looked at me for a long moment. Then his gaze
shifted to the dining room table. “Elodie?”
“S-sorry.” I got up and quickly took my plate and glass to the
sink and put it in the warm water. I don’t know why I got so
freaked out whenever that tone came to his voice. Actually, I did
know why. It’s just that he’d never done anything personally to
me to illicit this fear.
Shannon was so fastidious. I was sure he would just snap if
something was left sitting out... if a towel was left crumpled on the
counter... if a box of crackers fell over on its side. It wasn’t
like he’d ever harmed me for leaving anything out. He’d never hit
me or yelled at me or smashed or thrown things. It was just... this
disappointed tone like you get with a kid who eats an unauthorized
cookie before dinner. I hated doing something wrong in his
house—especially given how much he provided for me without asking
for anything in return. I felt like my behavior had to be...
perfect—to somehow compensate for what an inconvenience I must be.
I also felt like I had to somehow make him trust me so I could be a free range human again. I liked the comfort of his home, but
it felt like a
I stopped it with the edge of my hand and slit the envelope open.
Inside was a dossier. On me. There was also a DVD. A shiver traveled
down my spine. He’d been out there stalking my information. I
wasn’t sure if this felt like a kindness or a threat. I couldn’t
bring myself to read the details just yet.
“Where did you get all this? H-how did you get all this? How do I
know this is the truth? You could be lying like Trevor.”
Shannon shrugged as if it didn’t matter to him one way or the other
what I believed. “I could be. It’s up to you whether you want to
believe what’s in there. But it’s a narrative that doesn’t
include the end of the world. Do what you want with it. I need to
make some calls.”
He got up and put his plate and glass in the sink and ran some water
over them. Then he went to his office down the hall and closed the
door.
I put the papers back inside the envelope without reading them and
took them upstairs to my room. I slid the envelope under my mattress.
I wasn’t ready for more stories about me. Even though I had a
strong feeling these were the stories that were true. Now that I held
it in my hands I was afraid to know that truth.
What kind of a misfit hermit had I been if no one had called the
hospital or police to claim me? Maybe I was afraid to see a bunch of
wasted time staring back at me—no accomplishments to speak of.
Nothing the world cared about. As long as I didn’t know, I could
pretend I’d had a meaningful impact, even though I knew that
couldn’t be true. If it were true, someone would have called.
Someone besides Trevor would have missed me.
When I went back downstairs, the office door was still shut. I eased
up to the door and pressed my ear against it. I could hear Shannon on
the phone. Just barely. He didn’t have a land line, just what he
called a burner . It was a simple black pre-paid cell phone. He
routinely disposed of them and bought new ones.
“I told you I’ve been busy... I got a new pet. I needed to get
her housebroken and acclimated... of course another cat... you know I
can’t have a dog with my travel schedule...” Why did I think I
was the cat in this scenario? Shannon could be lying about how long
he’d had the white cat, but she was far too territorial to be new.
“... No, the money’s not the problem. It’s our agreed rate. You
said it wasn’t dire, so I took you at your word. But I’m ready
now. It’ll be done within the week. Be out of town next Thursday
with people who can account for your whereabouts.”
When the call ended, I practically flew to the living room couch, and
sat there trying to look like I hadn’t just heard what I was nearly
a hundred percent certain was a discussion about killing someone.
Shannon came out and looked at me for a long moment. Then his gaze
shifted to the dining room table. “Elodie?”
“S-sorry.” I got up and quickly took my plate and glass to the
sink and put it in the warm water. I don’t know why I got so
freaked out whenever that tone came to his voice. Actually, I did
know why. It’s just that he’d never done anything personally to
me to illicit this fear.
Shannon was so fastidious. I was sure he would just snap if
something was left sitting out... if a towel was left crumpled on the
counter... if a box of crackers fell over on its side. It wasn’t
like he’d ever harmed me for leaving anything out. He’d never hit
me or yelled at me or smashed or thrown things. It was just... this
disappointed tone like you get with a kid who eats an unauthorized
cookie before dinner. I hated doing something wrong in his
house—especially given how much he provided for me without asking
for anything in return. I felt like my behavior had to be...
perfect—to somehow compensate for what an inconvenience I must be.
I also felt like I had to somehow make him trust me so I could be a free range human again. I liked the comfort of his home, but
it felt like a
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