Paulette and her New Orleans trips, the strange man who had arrived in town the day of the murder, and the gopher poison that the whole town knew about.
I was completely lost in my thoughts when glass broke on the window behind the couch and something came flying into the living room, crashing into a lamp on the far side of the room. Ida Belle and Gertie hit the floor and I flipped backward over the recliner. I peered around it and saw something large and covered with paper surrounded by vase shards.
Tires squealed outside and I jumped up to get a look at the vehicle, but all I could manage in the dim streetlights was a dark-colored truck.
“Don’t touch it!” Gertie yelled at Ida Belle. “It could be a bomb.”
I turned around to see Ida Belle leaning over the lump, about to pick it up.
“Then touching it isn’t going to make a difference, is it?” Ida Belle said.
I hurried over as Ida Belle picked up the object.
“It’s just a rock covered with paper,” Ida Belle said as she removed the rubber bands to peel the paper away from the rock.
Yankee-loving murderer.
“Now, there’s a sophisticated message,” Ida Belle said. “If only we could narrow down the pool of suspects to less than the entire Sinful population.”
“We can,” I said pointing to the back of the paper. “The idiot wrote that message on his utility bill.”
Ida Belle flipped the bill over. “Looks like Shorty didn’t learn his lesson with that boat mishap.”
“I’m calling Carter,” Gertie said.
I looked over at Ida Belle, expecting her to protest, but she just nodded. Apparently, she saw the wisdom in being the victim.
###
It only took Carter five minutes to show up at Ida Belle’s house. It took five seconds for him to sigh in disgust at the message on the utility bill.
“I don’t know whether to be happy he’s made my job so easy,” Carter said, “or pissed off that someone that stupid not only roams the earth, but lives in my hometown.”
“I’m voting for pissed off,” I said and tapped the bill. “Notice those big red words ‘Cancellation notice’ written on here. If he’s not paying his water bill, I seriously doubt he has the cash for your truck or Ida Belle’s window.”
Carter perked up. “That makes things easier on me. I figured locking him up would mean no pay and that means no money for my truck, but if he’s not paying his bills anyway, there’s no loss. Sorry about the window, Ida Belle.”
“No worries,” Ida Belle said. “I wanted to get some of those new high-efficiency windows anyway. But I’m pressing charges. That vase was expensive.”
“I’m pressing charges too,” I said.
“For what?” Carter said. “You assaulted him this afternoon.”
“For shooting at me—did you forget that part? And at this point, I can make a good case for stalking.”
Carter gave me an aggrieved look. “You really want me to press charges for stalking? This town isn’t as big as a postage stamp. When it comes down to it, we’re probably all stalking one another as soon as we walk out our front doors.”
“I know that, but you can use it to threaten him to stay away from us.”
He smiled, understanding my angle. “That I can do. Normally, I’d want the three of you at the sheriff’s department tomorrow to give statements, but given that our toilet is broken,” he said as he looked at me, “I can’t have civilians in the building.”
“Can we do them here?” I said, feeling slightly guilty.
“I’ll bake muffins,” Gertie said and clapped her hands. “It will be a party.”
Carter stared at Gertie for a moment, apparently not on the party train with her. “I have to go pick up Shorty. I’ll see you here tomorrow morning at ten. If something changes, I’ll call to reschedule.”
Carter left and I locked the door behind him. “Do you have something to cover that hole?” I asked.
“There’s trash bags and duct tape in the kitchen,” Ida Belle said. “I’ll
I was completely lost in my thoughts when glass broke on the window behind the couch and something came flying into the living room, crashing into a lamp on the far side of the room. Ida Belle and Gertie hit the floor and I flipped backward over the recliner. I peered around it and saw something large and covered with paper surrounded by vase shards.
Tires squealed outside and I jumped up to get a look at the vehicle, but all I could manage in the dim streetlights was a dark-colored truck.
“Don’t touch it!” Gertie yelled at Ida Belle. “It could be a bomb.”
I turned around to see Ida Belle leaning over the lump, about to pick it up.
“Then touching it isn’t going to make a difference, is it?” Ida Belle said.
I hurried over as Ida Belle picked up the object.
“It’s just a rock covered with paper,” Ida Belle said as she removed the rubber bands to peel the paper away from the rock.
Yankee-loving murderer.
“Now, there’s a sophisticated message,” Ida Belle said. “If only we could narrow down the pool of suspects to less than the entire Sinful population.”
“We can,” I said pointing to the back of the paper. “The idiot wrote that message on his utility bill.”
Ida Belle flipped the bill over. “Looks like Shorty didn’t learn his lesson with that boat mishap.”
“I’m calling Carter,” Gertie said.
I looked over at Ida Belle, expecting her to protest, but she just nodded. Apparently, she saw the wisdom in being the victim.
###
It only took Carter five minutes to show up at Ida Belle’s house. It took five seconds for him to sigh in disgust at the message on the utility bill.
“I don’t know whether to be happy he’s made my job so easy,” Carter said, “or pissed off that someone that stupid not only roams the earth, but lives in my hometown.”
“I’m voting for pissed off,” I said and tapped the bill. “Notice those big red words ‘Cancellation notice’ written on here. If he’s not paying his water bill, I seriously doubt he has the cash for your truck or Ida Belle’s window.”
Carter perked up. “That makes things easier on me. I figured locking him up would mean no pay and that means no money for my truck, but if he’s not paying his bills anyway, there’s no loss. Sorry about the window, Ida Belle.”
“No worries,” Ida Belle said. “I wanted to get some of those new high-efficiency windows anyway. But I’m pressing charges. That vase was expensive.”
“I’m pressing charges too,” I said.
“For what?” Carter said. “You assaulted him this afternoon.”
“For shooting at me—did you forget that part? And at this point, I can make a good case for stalking.”
Carter gave me an aggrieved look. “You really want me to press charges for stalking? This town isn’t as big as a postage stamp. When it comes down to it, we’re probably all stalking one another as soon as we walk out our front doors.”
“I know that, but you can use it to threaten him to stay away from us.”
He smiled, understanding my angle. “That I can do. Normally, I’d want the three of you at the sheriff’s department tomorrow to give statements, but given that our toilet is broken,” he said as he looked at me, “I can’t have civilians in the building.”
“Can we do them here?” I said, feeling slightly guilty.
“I’ll bake muffins,” Gertie said and clapped her hands. “It will be a party.”
Carter stared at Gertie for a moment, apparently not on the party train with her. “I have to go pick up Shorty. I’ll see you here tomorrow morning at ten. If something changes, I’ll call to reschedule.”
Carter left and I locked the door behind him. “Do you have something to cover that hole?” I asked.
“There’s trash bags and duct tape in the kitchen,” Ida Belle said. “I’ll
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