waiting area halfway down the ., hall, where they sat quietly.
Ricky came out and paced the hallway, then went back into Annie's room. Time crawled by.
Suddenly Mrs. Whitman's cry pierced the sterile air. She darted out into the corridor. "Doctor! Nurse! Somebody! My kitten's awake!"
"Doctor Hammond, room four-fifteen--stat. Dr. Hammond, room four-fifteen--stat," a voice crackled over the loudspeaker. In a few minutes Dr. Hammond came striding swiftly toward Annie's room. He asked Mrs. Whitman, Johnny, and Ricky to step out for a moment.
"What did she say?" Ricky asked Mrs. Whitman as they joined Elizabeth and Jessica in the waiting area.
"She moaned and said something I couldn't understand," said Mona Whitman. She lit another cigarette and puffed nervously.
When Dr. Hammond came out of the room, his face was set in an unhappy frown. "She should be coming around much better than she is," he said worriedly.
"Is she conscious?" Mrs. Whitman asked.
"She slips in and out. Right now she isn't conscious."
"When will she be all right again?" Mrs. Whitman pressed.
"I wish I knew," he said. "When people try to take their own lives, they often don't want to be brought back. When you catch them in time, as in this case, they have another chance. But they have to want that chance, you see."
"What do you mean, Dr. Hammond?"
He seated himself on the couch in the corridor and drew the grieving woman down beside him. "Mrs. Whitman, I don't know why your daughter did this to herself, but she seems to have no will to live."
Twelve
No will to live ... no will to live. The words echoed mercilessly in Jessica's head as she raced down the halls of the hospital. Frantically she pushed through the front door, bursting out into the night air, gasping for breath. She ran across the circular driveway at the hospital's front entrance and continued across the wide, plush lawn. She felt her throat closing up, her breath short, her blood rushing wildly.
No will, thought Jessica. And all because of me. Her legs shook. She ran a few more steps and then collapsed onto the soft grass, next to a little Japanese rock garden. She gulped in huge breaths of the early evening air.
I'll go away, Jessica told herself in agony. I'll get a bus to Los Angeles, and then a plane to ... She buried her face in the grass, tears wetting the earth beneath her.
"Jess! Jessica!"
She heard the call faintly and looked up to
see Elizabeth coming across the lawn toward her.
"What are you doing out here?" Elizabeth said as she hurried over and wrapped her sister in her arms.
"Leave me alone."
"Are you all right?"
Jessica's response was an uncontrollable wail. Of course she wasn't all right! She would never be all right again.
Elizabeth gently rocked her twin in her arms. Jessica's sobs grew softer, punctuated by deep, long sighs. Finally she was quiet.
"Running away like that can't possibly change things or help Annie." Elizabeth's voice sounded tired. "And neither can blaming yourself. Why don't you stop?"
"I can't. It is my fault. Oh, Liz, I didn't know she wanted it so badly. Really I didn't! I wish I were dead!" Jessica kicked the ground, and tears fell afresh as hours of pent-up despair poured from her.
"C'mon, Jess," Elizabeth crooned, not knowing what else she could say.
"How can I be such a selfish, spoiled, impossible, vindictive--"
"Hey, hey," Elizabeth murmured. "You're talking about my favorite sister."
Jessica sat up and dabbed at her eyes with the edge of her shirt. "You heard Ricky. He's right. I am stuck-up and cruel. But I didn't know she wanted it so much!"
Jessica sniffled and looked pleadingly into her
sister's calm eyes. It was very difficult to lie to Elizabeth when she looked at her like that.
"Oh, OK, maybe I did know. Or I should have known. After all, I wanted it that much when I was trying out."
"You did what you thought was right," Elizabeth said.
"Yes, and put Annie where she is now!" Jessica bowed her head once
Ricky came out and paced the hallway, then went back into Annie's room. Time crawled by.
Suddenly Mrs. Whitman's cry pierced the sterile air. She darted out into the corridor. "Doctor! Nurse! Somebody! My kitten's awake!"
"Doctor Hammond, room four-fifteen--stat. Dr. Hammond, room four-fifteen--stat," a voice crackled over the loudspeaker. In a few minutes Dr. Hammond came striding swiftly toward Annie's room. He asked Mrs. Whitman, Johnny, and Ricky to step out for a moment.
"What did she say?" Ricky asked Mrs. Whitman as they joined Elizabeth and Jessica in the waiting area.
"She moaned and said something I couldn't understand," said Mona Whitman. She lit another cigarette and puffed nervously.
When Dr. Hammond came out of the room, his face was set in an unhappy frown. "She should be coming around much better than she is," he said worriedly.
"Is she conscious?" Mrs. Whitman asked.
"She slips in and out. Right now she isn't conscious."
"When will she be all right again?" Mrs. Whitman pressed.
"I wish I knew," he said. "When people try to take their own lives, they often don't want to be brought back. When you catch them in time, as in this case, they have another chance. But they have to want that chance, you see."
"What do you mean, Dr. Hammond?"
He seated himself on the couch in the corridor and drew the grieving woman down beside him. "Mrs. Whitman, I don't know why your daughter did this to herself, but she seems to have no will to live."
Twelve
No will to live ... no will to live. The words echoed mercilessly in Jessica's head as she raced down the halls of the hospital. Frantically she pushed through the front door, bursting out into the night air, gasping for breath. She ran across the circular driveway at the hospital's front entrance and continued across the wide, plush lawn. She felt her throat closing up, her breath short, her blood rushing wildly.
No will, thought Jessica. And all because of me. Her legs shook. She ran a few more steps and then collapsed onto the soft grass, next to a little Japanese rock garden. She gulped in huge breaths of the early evening air.
I'll go away, Jessica told herself in agony. I'll get a bus to Los Angeles, and then a plane to ... She buried her face in the grass, tears wetting the earth beneath her.
"Jess! Jessica!"
She heard the call faintly and looked up to
see Elizabeth coming across the lawn toward her.
"What are you doing out here?" Elizabeth said as she hurried over and wrapped her sister in her arms.
"Leave me alone."
"Are you all right?"
Jessica's response was an uncontrollable wail. Of course she wasn't all right! She would never be all right again.
Elizabeth gently rocked her twin in her arms. Jessica's sobs grew softer, punctuated by deep, long sighs. Finally she was quiet.
"Running away like that can't possibly change things or help Annie." Elizabeth's voice sounded tired. "And neither can blaming yourself. Why don't you stop?"
"I can't. It is my fault. Oh, Liz, I didn't know she wanted it so badly. Really I didn't! I wish I were dead!" Jessica kicked the ground, and tears fell afresh as hours of pent-up despair poured from her.
"C'mon, Jess," Elizabeth crooned, not knowing what else she could say.
"How can I be such a selfish, spoiled, impossible, vindictive--"
"Hey, hey," Elizabeth murmured. "You're talking about my favorite sister."
Jessica sat up and dabbed at her eyes with the edge of her shirt. "You heard Ricky. He's right. I am stuck-up and cruel. But I didn't know she wanted it so much!"
Jessica sniffled and looked pleadingly into her
sister's calm eyes. It was very difficult to lie to Elizabeth when she looked at her like that.
"Oh, OK, maybe I did know. Or I should have known. After all, I wanted it that much when I was trying out."
"You did what you thought was right," Elizabeth said.
"Yes, and put Annie where she is now!" Jessica bowed her head once
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