your first day!" as Radar entered the room, wild
eyed at stepping foot into an actual morgue. If the hallway
fluorescent lights created a ghoulish environment, the stainless
steel autopsy tables, examination tool trays, wall cabinets, and
large mounted flood lights made the morgue look like something out
of a Sci-Fi Frankenstein movie. "You're…we're gonna need this" "E"
chuckled; pulling a large aerosol can out of one of the stainless
steel cabinets. "Undertakers use this stuff to spray the ripe
ones." He then lowered his voice and took on a fatherly tone: "I'll
warn you right now…you're gonna puke. There's no stopping it…even
if I soak it with the entire can of this stuff. It will hit you
like a big, hairy arm jamming itself right down your throat and
pulling the barf out of your stomach before you know it. We all do
it, so don't get down on yourself… OK?"
Radar wondered what the hell he had got
himself into. There was no discussion of "ripe ones" during the job
interview. The kindly hospital educator had talked about helping
people, learning about the medical world, and how…if Radar so
decided…the hospital would pay his tuition to go to nursing school.
That seemed like the golden ticket Radar had so desperately sought:
a career pathway. With that education, he would work in the booming
field of male nursing or even become a paramedic. Radar jumped at
such an opportunity to change his life to become a valued member of
society.
The emergency squad backed up to the loading
dock. Between the paramedics and two orderlies lifted the gurney
out of the squad, up onto the dock, and then wheeled it into the
morgue. The paramedics were laughing with "E" as he told them they
had "new meat" in their midst. One paramedic who also worked on his
off days as an orderly told "E": "This guy's a floater. Two weeks
in the river, we figure. A cop had him at Fourth Street but when he
turned him over, the floater's eyeball fell out along with a bunch
of maggots. The cop dropped him back into the river, and he called
us."E" laughed "So you got to fish him out?" The part-time orderly
laughed "Yeah. They lowered me off the Fourth Street Bridge. I got
a rope round his body and we hauled him up. He's a bad one…so
decomposed we couldn't tell what race he was."
"E" shot Radar a glance, smiled, and
pronounced "Let's see". He quickly opened the leather body bag part
way and sprayed nearly the entire aerosol can's contents into the
bag. "We already used two cans on him" the paramedic warned "It
won't help. Now excuse us while we back out onto the dock before
you open it all the way". "E" unzipped the bag all the way. He had
been right: Radar instantly dropped to his knees puking onto the
spotlessly clean tile floor. Outside the paramedics laughed
heartily. "E" had his own head under a faucet at one of the big
stainless steel sinks, coughing and fighting back the vomit in the
back of this throat. "On second thought, we'll keep it in the bag
until the coroner gets here. This will stink up the whole basement
level." "E" put a wet paper towel over his face to shield his
nostrils and with his other hand; he zipped the bag back up. Radar
had composed himself enough to take what was left in the aerosol
can and spray his own mess on the floor. With paper towels, he
cleaned it up. "I don't know about you, but I'm ready for a coffee
break" E announced like they had just wheel-chaired an old lady
from a car. "See you upstairs in the ER".
Radar no sooner made it upstairs to the ER
desk than he was summoned by an older gray-haired ER doctor. "Hey
boy, I need you in here right away!" Upon entering the examination
room, Radar found a six year old boy sitting on the gurney with a
nurse holding up his bloody left arm up by the wrist. The boy was
crying and his striped golf shirt was smeared with blood and tears.
The tall, slim, distinguished looking ER physician calmly
instructed "Now, I'll need you to place his elbow on the gurney and
hold his hand by the
eyed at stepping foot into an actual morgue. If the hallway
fluorescent lights created a ghoulish environment, the stainless
steel autopsy tables, examination tool trays, wall cabinets, and
large mounted flood lights made the morgue look like something out
of a Sci-Fi Frankenstein movie. "You're…we're gonna need this" "E"
chuckled; pulling a large aerosol can out of one of the stainless
steel cabinets. "Undertakers use this stuff to spray the ripe
ones." He then lowered his voice and took on a fatherly tone: "I'll
warn you right now…you're gonna puke. There's no stopping it…even
if I soak it with the entire can of this stuff. It will hit you
like a big, hairy arm jamming itself right down your throat and
pulling the barf out of your stomach before you know it. We all do
it, so don't get down on yourself… OK?"
Radar wondered what the hell he had got
himself into. There was no discussion of "ripe ones" during the job
interview. The kindly hospital educator had talked about helping
people, learning about the medical world, and how…if Radar so
decided…the hospital would pay his tuition to go to nursing school.
That seemed like the golden ticket Radar had so desperately sought:
a career pathway. With that education, he would work in the booming
field of male nursing or even become a paramedic. Radar jumped at
such an opportunity to change his life to become a valued member of
society.
The emergency squad backed up to the loading
dock. Between the paramedics and two orderlies lifted the gurney
out of the squad, up onto the dock, and then wheeled it into the
morgue. The paramedics were laughing with "E" as he told them they
had "new meat" in their midst. One paramedic who also worked on his
off days as an orderly told "E": "This guy's a floater. Two weeks
in the river, we figure. A cop had him at Fourth Street but when he
turned him over, the floater's eyeball fell out along with a bunch
of maggots. The cop dropped him back into the river, and he called
us."E" laughed "So you got to fish him out?" The part-time orderly
laughed "Yeah. They lowered me off the Fourth Street Bridge. I got
a rope round his body and we hauled him up. He's a bad one…so
decomposed we couldn't tell what race he was."
"E" shot Radar a glance, smiled, and
pronounced "Let's see". He quickly opened the leather body bag part
way and sprayed nearly the entire aerosol can's contents into the
bag. "We already used two cans on him" the paramedic warned "It
won't help. Now excuse us while we back out onto the dock before
you open it all the way". "E" unzipped the bag all the way. He had
been right: Radar instantly dropped to his knees puking onto the
spotlessly clean tile floor. Outside the paramedics laughed
heartily. "E" had his own head under a faucet at one of the big
stainless steel sinks, coughing and fighting back the vomit in the
back of this throat. "On second thought, we'll keep it in the bag
until the coroner gets here. This will stink up the whole basement
level." "E" put a wet paper towel over his face to shield his
nostrils and with his other hand; he zipped the bag back up. Radar
had composed himself enough to take what was left in the aerosol
can and spray his own mess on the floor. With paper towels, he
cleaned it up. "I don't know about you, but I'm ready for a coffee
break" E announced like they had just wheel-chaired an old lady
from a car. "See you upstairs in the ER".
Radar no sooner made it upstairs to the ER
desk than he was summoned by an older gray-haired ER doctor. "Hey
boy, I need you in here right away!" Upon entering the examination
room, Radar found a six year old boy sitting on the gurney with a
nurse holding up his bloody left arm up by the wrist. The boy was
crying and his striped golf shirt was smeared with blood and tears.
The tall, slim, distinguished looking ER physician calmly
instructed "Now, I'll need you to place his elbow on the gurney and
hold his hand by the
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