Sullivan's Woman by Nora Roberts Page A

time.”
    â€œJust get a coat,” Jeff retorted, stalking to her door. “In case you haven’t noticed, it’s pouring outside.”
    Cassidy glanced out her window. “So it is,” she agreed. She pulled a yellow slicker out of the closet and dragged it on. “Can I have a cheeseburger?” she asked Jeff as she breezed past him.
    â€œWomen. Never satisfied.” He closed the door behind them.
    The rain didn’t bother Cassidy. It was refreshing after her hibernation. The hurried cheeseburger and soft drink were a banquet after the scant meals of the past two days. The smoky, crowded coffeehouse gave her a taste of humanity that she relished after her solitude.
    Seated near the back, she drank thick café au lait and listened to Jeff’s soothing, introspective music. The evening had grown late when she realized she had relaxed her guard. Colin had slipped over her barrier without her being aware. He stood clearly in her mind’s eye. Once he had breached her defenses, Cassidy knew it was useless to attempt to force him out again. She closed her eyes a moment, then opened them, accepting the inevitable. She could not avoid thinking of him forever.
    Colin Sullivan was a brilliant artist. He was a confident man who twisted life to suit himself. He had wit and charm and sensitivity. He was selfish and arrogant and totally dedicated to his work. He was thoughtless and domineering and capable of violence.
    And I love him completely.
    Cassidy trembled with a sigh, then stared into her coffee. I’m an idiot, a romantic fool who knew the pitfalls, then fell into one anyway. I see he has a lover, I understand he sees me as important only as a subject for his painting. I’m aware he would make love to me without his heart ever being touched. I know there’ve been dozens of women in his life, and none of them have lasted.
    No, not even Gail, she mused, for all her claims. She’s just another woman who’s touched the corners of his life. Colin’s never made a commitment to a woman. Knowing all this, and wanting a healthy, one-to-one relationship with a man, I fall in love with him. Brilliant.
    It’s insane. He’ll trample me. So what do I do? Slowly Cassidy lifted her coffee and sipped. She drifted away from her surroundings.
    I have to finish the portrait; I gave my word. It would be impossible to be in the studio together day after day and not speak. I’m not capable of feuding in any case. Her elbows were propped on the table, the cup held between her hands, but her eyes were staring over the rim and into the distance.
    Fighting with him is too dangerous because it brings the emotions to the surface. I don’t know how deeply inside me he’s capable of seeing. I won’t humiliate myself or embarrass him with the fact that I’ve been stupid enough to fall in love with him. The only thing to do is to behave naturally. Hold the pose for him, talk when he asks me to talk and be friendly. The painting seems to be moving well; it should be finished in a few more weeks. Surely I can behave properly for that amount of time. And when it’s finished . . .
    Her thoughts trailed off into darkness. And when the painting’s finished, what? I pick up the pieces, she answered. For a moment her eyes were lost and sad. When the painting’s finished and Colin drops out of my life, the universe will still function. What a small thing one person’s happiness is, she reflected. What a tiny, finite slice of the whole.
    With a sigh Cassidy shook off her thoughts and finished the coffee. Setting down the cup she let herself be stroked by Jeff’s quiet music.
    ***
    Cassidy pulled her jacket closer as she stood outside the studio door and searched her bag for the key Colin had given her.
    Blasted key, she grumbled silently as she groped for it. She blew her hair from her eyes then pulled out a notepad, three pencils, and a linty