shaking her booty.
Tim came up with the drinks.
“The lady behind the bar says they’ve stopped serving lunch but her husband is still in the kitchen and she’s gonna ask him to rustle us up some sandwiches.”
“I would hardly call that withered old thing a lady, ” Beth scoffed.
“Oh come on Beth, she’ll hear you,” Craig hissed.
“I don’t care,” she said in a loud voice. “I’m hungry. I’m sure her husband hasn’t got anything better to do, we’re doing them a favour, I doubt they see much business.”
The sound of a throat clearing made them all snap round their heads.
“Michael says he’ll be happy to make you something to eat.”
All four of them stared at her. Craig almost choked on his beer when he saw that the old hag was unmistakably pregnant. The flowing, patchwork skirt she wore billowed out from her heavily pregnant belly. It looked like she might drop at any second.
Jessie, dear, sweet Jessie was the one that knew what to say.
“Oh, you’re expecting, congratulations. You must be due soon. Is this your first?”
But she’s fucking ancient, Craig thought, how is that even possible?
“I’m due anytime now . And no my queen, it’s most definitely not my first. Are you folks here on holiday?”
Tim was the next to speak. He appeared to have sufficiently composed himself and his easy charm was back. He threw the old lady one of his special ‘Tim’ smiles, a smile that cracked open his entire face and made knickers drop.
“Yeah, we’re staying in a B and B in Penzance. Actually, we wanted to ask you something.” He rooted through his backpack as he spoke, and pulled out an old bus timetable. “Says here that the last bus leaves from Hanow to Penzance at six pm. Would you mind pointing us in the direction of the bus stop?”
The old/young woman chuckled. “ There’s no busses that go from Hanow, my ‘andsome. My guess is your staying at old Jake’s Bed and Breakfast, The Jolly Sailor?”
“ Er, yeah,” Tim said, “how did you know that?”
“Because he’s a bugger for handing out out of date timetables to unsuspecting tourists. I think he does it for kicks, he ain’t been right in the head since his wife passed on, God rest her soul. Did you even check the date on your timetable?”
Tim frowned, and studied the pamphlet. “Shit. It says two thousand and seven.”
“Ay. Hanow hasn’t been near a bus route for many years. Not since they built more of them fancy roads. We’re a bit off the beaten track, so to speak. Used to be that a mile hike would take you onto the main road. But the main road moved, now you walk two miles and you get to a road no one uses no more.”
“Oh my God Tim, how could you be so stupid? That timetable’s like seven fucking years old.” Beth snapped.
“Hey, it’s not my fault, I didn’t see any of you guys wanting to read the timetable. I said the last bus left at six and you all blindly took my word for it.”
“You should of bloody checked the date of the thing,” Beth went on.
Craig threw her a look and it seemed to work. She sat there sulking, her arms folded across her chest.
“Tim’s right, it’s not his fault, we all should have checked,” Jessie said, ever the peace keeper. “What’s your name?” she asked the woman.
“Margaret.”
“Margaret. It’s a pleasure to meet you, and thank you so much for going out of your way to feed us. My name’s Jessie, and this is Tim, Craig and Beth,” she said, nodding to each of them in turn.
“You’re more than welcome, my ‘ andsome, and it’s a pleasure to meet y’all too. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and all.”
“It doesn’t matter, we’ ll just call for a taxi,” Craig said, thinking aloud.
“You do that,” the woman called Margaret said. “But if you want to, there are two double rooms going free above the pub. I used to have a B and B, but I gave it up when the family started growing. You folks are welcome to stay here for the
Tim came up with the drinks.
“The lady behind the bar says they’ve stopped serving lunch but her husband is still in the kitchen and she’s gonna ask him to rustle us up some sandwiches.”
“I would hardly call that withered old thing a lady, ” Beth scoffed.
“Oh come on Beth, she’ll hear you,” Craig hissed.
“I don’t care,” she said in a loud voice. “I’m hungry. I’m sure her husband hasn’t got anything better to do, we’re doing them a favour, I doubt they see much business.”
The sound of a throat clearing made them all snap round their heads.
“Michael says he’ll be happy to make you something to eat.”
All four of them stared at her. Craig almost choked on his beer when he saw that the old hag was unmistakably pregnant. The flowing, patchwork skirt she wore billowed out from her heavily pregnant belly. It looked like she might drop at any second.
Jessie, dear, sweet Jessie was the one that knew what to say.
“Oh, you’re expecting, congratulations. You must be due soon. Is this your first?”
But she’s fucking ancient, Craig thought, how is that even possible?
“I’m due anytime now . And no my queen, it’s most definitely not my first. Are you folks here on holiday?”
Tim was the next to speak. He appeared to have sufficiently composed himself and his easy charm was back. He threw the old lady one of his special ‘Tim’ smiles, a smile that cracked open his entire face and made knickers drop.
“Yeah, we’re staying in a B and B in Penzance. Actually, we wanted to ask you something.” He rooted through his backpack as he spoke, and pulled out an old bus timetable. “Says here that the last bus leaves from Hanow to Penzance at six pm. Would you mind pointing us in the direction of the bus stop?”
The old/young woman chuckled. “ There’s no busses that go from Hanow, my ‘andsome. My guess is your staying at old Jake’s Bed and Breakfast, The Jolly Sailor?”
“ Er, yeah,” Tim said, “how did you know that?”
“Because he’s a bugger for handing out out of date timetables to unsuspecting tourists. I think he does it for kicks, he ain’t been right in the head since his wife passed on, God rest her soul. Did you even check the date on your timetable?”
Tim frowned, and studied the pamphlet. “Shit. It says two thousand and seven.”
“Ay. Hanow hasn’t been near a bus route for many years. Not since they built more of them fancy roads. We’re a bit off the beaten track, so to speak. Used to be that a mile hike would take you onto the main road. But the main road moved, now you walk two miles and you get to a road no one uses no more.”
“Oh my God Tim, how could you be so stupid? That timetable’s like seven fucking years old.” Beth snapped.
“Hey, it’s not my fault, I didn’t see any of you guys wanting to read the timetable. I said the last bus left at six and you all blindly took my word for it.”
“You should of bloody checked the date of the thing,” Beth went on.
Craig threw her a look and it seemed to work. She sat there sulking, her arms folded across her chest.
“Tim’s right, it’s not his fault, we all should have checked,” Jessie said, ever the peace keeper. “What’s your name?” she asked the woman.
“Margaret.”
“Margaret. It’s a pleasure to meet you, and thank you so much for going out of your way to feed us. My name’s Jessie, and this is Tim, Craig and Beth,” she said, nodding to each of them in turn.
“You’re more than welcome, my ‘ andsome, and it’s a pleasure to meet y’all too. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and all.”
“It doesn’t matter, we’ ll just call for a taxi,” Craig said, thinking aloud.
“You do that,” the woman called Margaret said. “But if you want to, there are two double rooms going free above the pub. I used to have a B and B, but I gave it up when the family started growing. You folks are welcome to stay here for the
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