Stranger in Dadland by Amy Goldman Koss Page B

the chick-magnet thing.
    When we were leaving the pool, Beau pulled me aside. I figured he was going to tell me he liked Iris, but he said, “I told His Ugliness about you and Chet Carter.”
    “Yeah?”
    “He practically peed his pants!” Beau said, laughing. Cackling, actually, all the way back to his apartment. Claude and even baby Marcel joined in the laughter. The three of them sounded slightly insane.
    Iris looked puzzled.
    “It’s a long story,” I told her.
    Back inside Dad’s apartment, Cora had her camera out and was taking pictures of Dad in his cast.
    “Take one of me and John!” Iris said, grabbing my arm. We were both still in our bathing suits and shivery from the pool. I could feel the goose bumps on Iris’s arm.
    Cora took two pictures. “I’ll send you prints,” she said, and I almost liked her. I pictured Brad and Theo green with envy.
    While Iris and I had been down at the pool, Cora had helped Dad take a shower without getting his cast wet. And she’d held the mirror so he could shave sitting down. I never would’ve thought of that. Dad seemed as happy as a clam and Cora was practically purring.
    When they said good-bye to each other, Iris whispered to me, “Well, see ya at the wedding, maybe.”
    “Yours and Beau’s?”
    Iris shoved me and shrieked, “Shut up!” She must’ve liked Beau even more than I’d thought. Then she said, “No, Scarecrow, I meant my aunt and your dad’s wedding! Then we’ll be kin. I’ll call you Cousin Kansas. How’s that?”
    “Beats being called Scarecrow and Tin Man,” I said.
    “Sorry, Lion.” Iris giggled, darting out the door. At least she hadn’t called me Dorothy.
    Beau’s question from the night before had been brewing in my brain long enough. What did
I
want to do? By the time Iris and Cora left, I knew the answer. So, I just up and asked Dad if he’d like me to come back over my winter break. I-didn’t get all fidgety and hangdog about it. I didn’t beg or anything. I just
asked.
It wasn’t hard.
    “You’d do that?” Dad asked, surprised. “You’d come twice a year?”
    “Of course I would,” I answered. “Sure.”
    “That would be
terrific!
” Dad said. “Absolutely terrific!” And I could tell he meant it. We grinned and grinned at each other like two goofs.
    “No Rollerblading, though,” I finally said.
    Dad laughed. “You’re right. We better stick to hang gliding and bungee jumping.”
    I called home to tell my mom to expect me the next day as planned. Jet answered the phone.
    “Jet!” I said. “You’re back!”
    “Your sister sent up smoke signals summoning me,” he joked. I guess he meant her bonfire on the stove.
    “I did not!” Liz squealed in the background. Then she must’ve grabbed the phone. “John?” she said.
    “Yep.”
    “Jet was camped out in his car in front of the house for so long, I finally took pity on the neighbors, who, needless to say, were getting a little freaked. I let him back on
probation.
”
    “Glad to hear it,” I said. Then I told her I’d be home the next day.
    “Good,” Liz said. “Mom’s been in a state, and I couldn’t bear another week of worry patrol on my own! How’s the Phantom’s knee?”
    “The knee’s bad, but the Phantom is great,” I said. “He thinks you’re
classy
, by the way. And remind me to tell you what he said about your Barbie and Ken dolls.”
    “Huh?”
    “Liz,” I said, “why don’t cannibals eat clowns?”
    “Why?” she asked with a giggle ready in her voice. Liz loves jokes, the dumber the better. When I told her the punch line, she burst out laughing. I knew she’d tell it to Jet the second she got off the phone.
    I hung up, smiling.
    The next morning I helped Dad hop out to the living room. Then I made him some eggs. There was no trace of the mess Beau and I had made in the kitchen. Cora must’ve cleaned it the day before. I almost felt guilty, but then I figured she owed it to me—she’d never paid back my two