Stranger by David Bergen Page A

was wrong. She sat and thought of all the wrong things. She thought of her hunger and she thought of the birth and she thought of her mother, who would be at home. She thought about simple things, like the colours of the flowers in the pots, and the types of flowers, and then she stopped and was appalled by her thoughts. But as soon as she thought about the baby she couldn’t breathe and she felt faint and her heart went desolate, and none of this was good. She had to stay alert and strong. But still, the baby. And so she stood and began to walk back along the corridor towards the garden. And then she ran, and then she walked because it seemed wrong to run, and then she ran again because time was crucial. The Dutch nurse called out in her flat voice, butshe ignored the nurse, who knew nothing and only took directions from the director.
    Ãso stepped into the garden and went to the first woman she saw and she asked, Have you seen my baby? It was early and the woman was alone and drinking her morning tea. She looked up and shook her head. It was all so disconcerting. For the woman. For Íso. She began to knock on doors to the rooms. She called out. Some women tried to console her. Others ignored her. All saw her as deranged. Even the keepers she came upon shied away. She found herself in the pool area, fearing that her baby had been drowned. But how? And for what reason?
    And this is where Elena found her, at the edge of the pool, staring down into the water. She took Íso by the arm and said, Come. Come.
    My baby, Íso said. She’s gone.
    They walked together back down the corridor towards the room in which Íso had birthed the baby and then fed the baby and then slept, holding the baby. As they walked, hand in hand, Íso began to feel calmer, and she realized that the baby was of course back in the room. Here she’d been running all over looking for a baby that was where it was supposed to be. They entered the room, Elena first. Íso followed. The room was empty.
    She’s not here, Íso said.
    Elena took her by the shoulders and looked into her face and said, She is gone.
    Gone?
    Yes.
    She’s dead?
    No, Íso, no. She’s safe. Elena guided Íso to a chair. Sit, she said.
    I won’t sit, Íso cried.
    You must. You’ll faint otherwise.
    But where? she whispered. Where has she gone?
    Elena touched her shoulder.
    Ãso pulled back. Where? she said again.
    To Doctor Mann and his wife.
    They were here? In this place? Doctor Mann is here?
    His wife was here. She has the baby.
    No. No. The baby is mine.
    As she is the doctor’s, Elena said. You signed the papers. You released the baby.
    The papers? I didn’t know. I didn’t know. What are you saying? She was shouting now.
    You signed the papers, Elena said again. The baby is gone.
    There was the sound of a wail and it was so distant and so eerie that it frightened Íso, and she covered her ears and fell to her knees in order not to hear that horrible cry, but still it came and came and came, and then someone was lifting her and carrying her, and she was laid on her bed and a doctor appeared—Betje, it was—and Betje held up a syringe and said it was for calming down, and she felt the needle in her thigh, and then she felt nothing.
    I N the early days, just after her baby was taken, Íso went to the police station in her village and she spoke with one of the officers.She sat for a long time in the anteroom and when she was called into the inner office she explained her situation. The officer was a short man in a tight-fitting uniform. He was patient, but he seemed bored. He explained that there was little to be done. It was out of his hands. And he raised the hands he had just referred to and held them palms up towards the ceiling, as if hoping that something of value might fall down and benefit him. Íso understood that this was a plea for money, and she understood that the bribe might produce nothing. Her