will be no other time. You will not come back and I will never meet you again.'
For a while Culain was silent and she felt the tension in him ease away.
'All my life,' he said at last, 'all my long, long life I have been able to look at Culain and be proud. For Culain never acted basely. Culain was the true prince. My arrogance could have swamped mountains. I was immortal: the Mist Warrior, the Lance Lord from the Feragh. I was Apollo for the Greeks, Donner to the Norse, Agripash to the Hittites. But in all the interminable centuries I never betrayed a friend, nor broke a trust. Now I am no longer that Culain and I wonder if ever I was.'
'You speak of the Queen?'
'Uther's bride. I raised her - here where we sit. She ran in these mountains, hunted and laughed, sang and knew joy. I was a father to her. I did not know then that she loved me, for she was a child of the earth and my love was a goddess of eternal beauty. But then you know the tale of the Witch Queen and her deeds.' Culain shrugged. 'When the battle was over, I should never have gone back. Uther and Laitha thought me dead; they were married then and, I believed, happy. But I found the last to be untrue. He ignored her, treating her with shameful disdain. He took other women and flaunted them at his palaces, leaving my Gian desolate and a laughing-stock. I would have killed him, but she forbade it. I tried to comfort her. I pitied her. I loved her. I brought her happiness for a little while. Then they became reconciled and our love was put away. She conceived a child by him - and all the past torments seemed forgotten.
'But it did not last for his bitterness was too strong. He sent her to Dubris, telling her the sea air would help her in her pregnancy. Then he moved a young Iceni woman into his palace. I went to Gian.' He chuckled, then sighed. 'Foolish Culain; it was a trap. He had men watching the house. I was seen and they tried to take me. I killed three of them - and one was an old friend.
'I took Gian to Anderita and then further along the coast, having got a message to friends in Sicam-bria. A ship was due to meet us and we sheltered in an old cave, safe from all - even the magic of Mae-dhlyn, Uther's Lord Enchanter.'
'How did they find you?' she asked.
'Gian had a pet hound called Cabal. Uther's horse-master, a crippled Brigante called Prasamaccus, released the beast outside Dubris and it trailed us all the way to the cave. Gian was so pleased when it arrived, and I did not think - so great was her pleasure that it masked my intellect. The hound gave birth to a litter of five pups some time before Gian bore Cormac. A black and bitter day that was! The babe was dead, of that there is no doubt. But Gian left it with her Sipstrassi necklace and somehow the magic brought him back.
'But by then the hunters had found me. I killed them all and carried Gian to the cliff-top. Uther was already there, sitting on his war-horse. He was alone and I thought of killing him. Gian stopped me once more - and I looked to the sea. There in the bay was the Sicambrian ship. I had no choice; I took Gian in my arms and leapt. I almost lost her in the waves, but at last we were safe. But she never recovered her spirit. The Betrayal of Uther and the death of her son became linked in her mind as a punishment from God and she sent me away.'
'What became of her?' whispered Anduine.
'Nothing became of her. She was dead and yet living. She joined a community of God-seekers in Belgica and stayed there for thirteen years, scrubbing floors, growing vegetables, cooking meals, studying ancient writings and seeking forgiveness.'
'Did she find it?'
'How could she? There is no God in the Universe* who would hate her. But she despised herself. She would never see me. Every year I journeyed to Belgica - and every year the gatekeeper would go to her, return and send me away. Two years ago he told me she had died.'
'And you, my lord? Where did you go?'
'I went to Africa. I became
For a while Culain was silent and she felt the tension in him ease away.
'All my life,' he said at last, 'all my long, long life I have been able to look at Culain and be proud. For Culain never acted basely. Culain was the true prince. My arrogance could have swamped mountains. I was immortal: the Mist Warrior, the Lance Lord from the Feragh. I was Apollo for the Greeks, Donner to the Norse, Agripash to the Hittites. But in all the interminable centuries I never betrayed a friend, nor broke a trust. Now I am no longer that Culain and I wonder if ever I was.'
'You speak of the Queen?'
'Uther's bride. I raised her - here where we sit. She ran in these mountains, hunted and laughed, sang and knew joy. I was a father to her. I did not know then that she loved me, for she was a child of the earth and my love was a goddess of eternal beauty. But then you know the tale of the Witch Queen and her deeds.' Culain shrugged. 'When the battle was over, I should never have gone back. Uther and Laitha thought me dead; they were married then and, I believed, happy. But I found the last to be untrue. He ignored her, treating her with shameful disdain. He took other women and flaunted them at his palaces, leaving my Gian desolate and a laughing-stock. I would have killed him, but she forbade it. I tried to comfort her. I pitied her. I loved her. I brought her happiness for a little while. Then they became reconciled and our love was put away. She conceived a child by him - and all the past torments seemed forgotten.
'But it did not last for his bitterness was too strong. He sent her to Dubris, telling her the sea air would help her in her pregnancy. Then he moved a young Iceni woman into his palace. I went to Gian.' He chuckled, then sighed. 'Foolish Culain; it was a trap. He had men watching the house. I was seen and they tried to take me. I killed three of them - and one was an old friend.
'I took Gian to Anderita and then further along the coast, having got a message to friends in Sicam-bria. A ship was due to meet us and we sheltered in an old cave, safe from all - even the magic of Mae-dhlyn, Uther's Lord Enchanter.'
'How did they find you?' she asked.
'Gian had a pet hound called Cabal. Uther's horse-master, a crippled Brigante called Prasamaccus, released the beast outside Dubris and it trailed us all the way to the cave. Gian was so pleased when it arrived, and I did not think - so great was her pleasure that it masked my intellect. The hound gave birth to a litter of five pups some time before Gian bore Cormac. A black and bitter day that was! The babe was dead, of that there is no doubt. But Gian left it with her Sipstrassi necklace and somehow the magic brought him back.
'But by then the hunters had found me. I killed them all and carried Gian to the cliff-top. Uther was already there, sitting on his war-horse. He was alone and I thought of killing him. Gian stopped me once more - and I looked to the sea. There in the bay was the Sicambrian ship. I had no choice; I took Gian in my arms and leapt. I almost lost her in the waves, but at last we were safe. But she never recovered her spirit. The Betrayal of Uther and the death of her son became linked in her mind as a punishment from God and she sent me away.'
'What became of her?' whispered Anduine.
'Nothing became of her. She was dead and yet living. She joined a community of God-seekers in Belgica and stayed there for thirteen years, scrubbing floors, growing vegetables, cooking meals, studying ancient writings and seeking forgiveness.'
'Did she find it?'
'How could she? There is no God in the Universe* who would hate her. But she despised herself. She would never see me. Every year I journeyed to Belgica - and every year the gatekeeper would go to her, return and send me away. Two years ago he told me she had died.'
'And you, my lord? Where did you go?'
'I went to Africa. I became
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