Ultimately Uncle Roy won the argument and assumed sole authority over the priesthood and placement marriages. It was a historic event in our church and marked the beginning of the doctrine of one man rule.
Dismayed, some council members who favored a more traditional leadership structure left the FLDS to form their own church that came to be known as the Centennial Group. For church members, this was a pivotal period and resulted in what has come to be known as “the split.” Those who left our church to form the new group were deemed apostates and were no longer considered “worthy” by the FLDS. Uncle Rulon and members of his inner circle strongly discouraged even casual contact with members of that sect, which established itself about a mile from the Crik.
The danger of course with the post-split power structure was that all control over the FLDS people resided with the prophet. This did not prove to be a major issue during the waning years of Uncle Roy’s life, but with Rulon and Warren at the helm it held a great many risks.
OUT OF CONTROL
I want to be the humble servant of the prophet.
— FLDS PRAYER
I n the fall of 1998 our family was still living on Claybourne Avenue and, much to my surprise and everyone else’s, Mother Audrey returned home. Her youngest daughter, Lydia, had been married not long before, and with no more children at home, Mother Audrey strengthened her friendship with Mother Laura, who was now in her mid-twenties and raising her young son. The two women had bonded from the beginning and had grown closer in our absence. But the house that Mother Audrey returned to was not the one that she had left the previous year. All of a sudden, it seemed Laura had become Dad’s favored companion. It was Laura accompanying Dad to the supermarket. It was Laura scrutinizing the other mother’s shopping lists about whether certain items were truly necessary.
Just as Mother Audrey had struggled with the addition of Dad’s second wife, now Mom had a hard time coping with Laura’s presence. This is one of the natural drawbacks to a plural marriage. The husband experiences pride and excitement with a new wife in the household, but for the women already there, resentment and jealousy sets in. Making matters worse for my mother was that the old wounds between her and Audrey had yet to heal. Once again, Mom found herself on the outside, with the blame for the family’s domestic troubles laid at her feet. No one was completely innocent, but no one was willing to accept responsibility for the problems that continued to plague our home.
While my mother got the brunt of it, everyone pointed fingers. To me the other two mothers were ganging up on my siblings and me. When a problem arose in the house, Dad was quick to side with one of the other mothers, dismissing the children’s version and agreeing that punishment was in order. From my perspective, it seemed that to Dad, Audrey, and Laura, Mom’s kids could do no right. My brothers had taken to escaping the tension with forbidden trips to the local arcade and Toys “R” Us, where they met friends and played video games. Meanwhile, my sister Teressa began standing up to Dad and his other wives and advocating for our mother just as Craig had, a rebellion that landed her on the dark side of Dad’s anger.
Terrified of losing the family he loved for a second time, my father only grew more paranoid as Teressa and my brothers stretched their teenage wings and became more openly confrontational. Though they were merely acting like normal teenagers, they were seen as defiant and Dad suffered great anxiety over how their behavior would affect his priesthood standing. As sad as it was, it was clear to us all that Dad was coming apart as he fought to rein in his wives and children according to the priesthood’s design.
Thinking back on his battle to control our family, I have wondered if Dad’s own difficult childhood had left him emotionally unequipped to handle
Dismayed, some council members who favored a more traditional leadership structure left the FLDS to form their own church that came to be known as the Centennial Group. For church members, this was a pivotal period and resulted in what has come to be known as “the split.” Those who left our church to form the new group were deemed apostates and were no longer considered “worthy” by the FLDS. Uncle Rulon and members of his inner circle strongly discouraged even casual contact with members of that sect, which established itself about a mile from the Crik.
The danger of course with the post-split power structure was that all control over the FLDS people resided with the prophet. This did not prove to be a major issue during the waning years of Uncle Roy’s life, but with Rulon and Warren at the helm it held a great many risks.
OUT OF CONTROL
I want to be the humble servant of the prophet.
— FLDS PRAYER
I n the fall of 1998 our family was still living on Claybourne Avenue and, much to my surprise and everyone else’s, Mother Audrey returned home. Her youngest daughter, Lydia, had been married not long before, and with no more children at home, Mother Audrey strengthened her friendship with Mother Laura, who was now in her mid-twenties and raising her young son. The two women had bonded from the beginning and had grown closer in our absence. But the house that Mother Audrey returned to was not the one that she had left the previous year. All of a sudden, it seemed Laura had become Dad’s favored companion. It was Laura accompanying Dad to the supermarket. It was Laura scrutinizing the other mother’s shopping lists about whether certain items were truly necessary.
Just as Mother Audrey had struggled with the addition of Dad’s second wife, now Mom had a hard time coping with Laura’s presence. This is one of the natural drawbacks to a plural marriage. The husband experiences pride and excitement with a new wife in the household, but for the women already there, resentment and jealousy sets in. Making matters worse for my mother was that the old wounds between her and Audrey had yet to heal. Once again, Mom found herself on the outside, with the blame for the family’s domestic troubles laid at her feet. No one was completely innocent, but no one was willing to accept responsibility for the problems that continued to plague our home.
While my mother got the brunt of it, everyone pointed fingers. To me the other two mothers were ganging up on my siblings and me. When a problem arose in the house, Dad was quick to side with one of the other mothers, dismissing the children’s version and agreeing that punishment was in order. From my perspective, it seemed that to Dad, Audrey, and Laura, Mom’s kids could do no right. My brothers had taken to escaping the tension with forbidden trips to the local arcade and Toys “R” Us, where they met friends and played video games. Meanwhile, my sister Teressa began standing up to Dad and his other wives and advocating for our mother just as Craig had, a rebellion that landed her on the dark side of Dad’s anger.
Terrified of losing the family he loved for a second time, my father only grew more paranoid as Teressa and my brothers stretched their teenage wings and became more openly confrontational. Though they were merely acting like normal teenagers, they were seen as defiant and Dad suffered great anxiety over how their behavior would affect his priesthood standing. As sad as it was, it was clear to us all that Dad was coming apart as he fought to rein in his wives and children according to the priesthood’s design.
Thinking back on his battle to control our family, I have wondered if Dad’s own difficult childhood had left him emotionally unequipped to handle
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