Stockholm Syndrome 3 - No Beginning, No End by Richard Rider Page B
Authors: Richard Rider
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just not the cuddling sort. There's got to be a specific level of whiskey he needs in his bloodstream to be this pliant and agreeable. Experiments might be needed, like George's Marvellous Medicine...
"Lindsay, stop it."
Lindsay doesn't stop. Maybe it's obvious in Pip's voice that this is the sort of stop that means I kind of want you stop to but oh god please don't . His mouth is warm and insistent on Pip's neck, touching all the invisible places that make him forget how to breathe.
"Listen. I changed my name, it's all legal." He says it quickly or he won't say it at all, then sort of regrets it when Lindsay stops kissing him and sits up, wearing that familiar confused-exasperated look on his face again, all raised eyebrows and pursed lips.
"What?"
"I done it a few days ago, I didn't wanna tell you til I got the certificate through the post, look." The edge of the envelope is damp from where the rain squirmed its way inside his bag even though he thought he'd closed it tight enough, but the papers inside aren't damaged. He brings them all out and searches through to find the certificate. "Yeah, here, look. I changed my name."
"I don't think I want to look." He takes the page anyway, but holds it face-down in his lap. "You changed your name to Ziggy Stardust, didn't you?"
"No I never!"
"If it's Ziggy Stardust or Aladdin Sane you can change it back right now and we'll pretend this never happened."
"Don't be such a bellend, just look."
"I can't. It's something awful."
"It's Brown , you fucker. I got your stupid boring beige name now, alright?"
"Oh," Lindsay says, very quietly. He turns the certificate over to read it properly, then his mouth moves like he's trying really hard not to smile. "Danger?"
"Well, I didn't wanna change Philip cos I'm kinda used to it now, and I'd never change George cos of my grandad, and I can't change Valentine cos you couldn't call me that no more and I like it. Olly bet me I wouldn't do it so I had to."
"Philip George Danger Valentine Brown. You twat." "I hate people saying 'danger's my middle name', they're all dirty liars. Danger is my middle name."
"You need your head looking at."
"It's hilarious." "It's stupid."
"So what? You're missing the point a bit. I'm Mr. Brown now. Pip Brown, like Ladyhawke. If you won't marry me. It's... next best thing, innit?"
Lindsay's touching Pip's hair again, winding a strand around his fingertip then letting it go and sliding his whole hand in there at the back of Pip's head, tugging gently through the damp waves of black to hold him close – not a cuddle like before, not exactly, but something fierce and possessive. Pip clings on around his neck, he can't seem to get close enough. He rests his face there, cheek pressed tight against Lindsay's shoulder.
"I'm not marrying you," Lindsay says. It sounds muffled, he's talking right into Pip's hair. "It's revolting. I'm not doing it."
"You said you would."
"Silly little girls need to learn that big cruel men sometimes make promises they don't mean if they think it'll get them into bed."
"Ah, get fucked. You know I would've slept with you anyway, you didn't have to lie about nothing." It still sinks his stomach and he feels stupid because it shouldn't matter. It's just another bit of paper, like the document he can whip out if anybody ever disputes the fact that his middle name is indeed Danger. "Why's it revolting just saying you love me and writing your name down?"
"It's just... ugh. God. It's foul. It's... saying all those vile soppy things in front of everybody you know, it's just horrible ."
"No it ain't horrible, you're just repressed."
"I'm not repressed."
"Just don't lie to me no more, I don't wanna be lied to over the only thing in the whole world what really matters, that ain't fair."
"But why does it matter so much? It doesn't change anything." "If it don't change anything why won't you do it."
"I can't believe I almost forgot how... fucking irritating you are
"Lindsay, stop it."
Lindsay doesn't stop. Maybe it's obvious in Pip's voice that this is the sort of stop that means I kind of want you stop to but oh god please don't . His mouth is warm and insistent on Pip's neck, touching all the invisible places that make him forget how to breathe.
"Listen. I changed my name, it's all legal." He says it quickly or he won't say it at all, then sort of regrets it when Lindsay stops kissing him and sits up, wearing that familiar confused-exasperated look on his face again, all raised eyebrows and pursed lips.
"What?"
"I done it a few days ago, I didn't wanna tell you til I got the certificate through the post, look." The edge of the envelope is damp from where the rain squirmed its way inside his bag even though he thought he'd closed it tight enough, but the papers inside aren't damaged. He brings them all out and searches through to find the certificate. "Yeah, here, look. I changed my name."
"I don't think I want to look." He takes the page anyway, but holds it face-down in his lap. "You changed your name to Ziggy Stardust, didn't you?"
"No I never!"
"If it's Ziggy Stardust or Aladdin Sane you can change it back right now and we'll pretend this never happened."
"Don't be such a bellend, just look."
"I can't. It's something awful."
"It's Brown , you fucker. I got your stupid boring beige name now, alright?"
"Oh," Lindsay says, very quietly. He turns the certificate over to read it properly, then his mouth moves like he's trying really hard not to smile. "Danger?"
"Well, I didn't wanna change Philip cos I'm kinda used to it now, and I'd never change George cos of my grandad, and I can't change Valentine cos you couldn't call me that no more and I like it. Olly bet me I wouldn't do it so I had to."
"Philip George Danger Valentine Brown. You twat." "I hate people saying 'danger's my middle name', they're all dirty liars. Danger is my middle name."
"You need your head looking at."
"It's hilarious." "It's stupid."
"So what? You're missing the point a bit. I'm Mr. Brown now. Pip Brown, like Ladyhawke. If you won't marry me. It's... next best thing, innit?"
Lindsay's touching Pip's hair again, winding a strand around his fingertip then letting it go and sliding his whole hand in there at the back of Pip's head, tugging gently through the damp waves of black to hold him close – not a cuddle like before, not exactly, but something fierce and possessive. Pip clings on around his neck, he can't seem to get close enough. He rests his face there, cheek pressed tight against Lindsay's shoulder.
"I'm not marrying you," Lindsay says. It sounds muffled, he's talking right into Pip's hair. "It's revolting. I'm not doing it."
"You said you would."
"Silly little girls need to learn that big cruel men sometimes make promises they don't mean if they think it'll get them into bed."
"Ah, get fucked. You know I would've slept with you anyway, you didn't have to lie about nothing." It still sinks his stomach and he feels stupid because it shouldn't matter. It's just another bit of paper, like the document he can whip out if anybody ever disputes the fact that his middle name is indeed Danger. "Why's it revolting just saying you love me and writing your name down?"
"It's just... ugh. God. It's foul. It's... saying all those vile soppy things in front of everybody you know, it's just horrible ."
"No it ain't horrible, you're just repressed."
"I'm not repressed."
"Just don't lie to me no more, I don't wanna be lied to over the only thing in the whole world what really matters, that ain't fair."
"But why does it matter so much? It doesn't change anything." "If it don't change anything why won't you do it."
"I can't believe I almost forgot how... fucking irritating you are
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