back to her.”
“There is no Prince Charming.”
“There is no Prince Charming?”
“There’s a very nice Frog Prince who lives in the swamps in the South of Munchkinland,” said Melvin.
“Actually, he’s a King now,” said General Gnarly.
“Really? Good for him.”
“I met him a few years ago, nicest Frog I’ve ever met.”
“Excuse me!” cried Robert. “Can we stay on topic for a minute? What happened to Snow White if there was no Prince Charming?”
“I’ll get us another round of drinks,” said Melvin and headed for the bar.
“Are you okay, moron? You’re looking a bit pale.”
“It’s a lot for him to take in,” said Lily’s silky voice from behind him. “Imagine, General, if you’d grown up believing that Thiside was nothing but make-believe? Just stories in a book and then one day you find out it was all real. But not exactly the way you were told.”
Robert turned around to find Lily standing at the bottom of the stairway. Her hair hung freely around her shoulders and she wore a black nightdress that clung to all the right places, outlining a fiendishly lovely body. The hem had been pinned up to accommodate Lily’s shorter stature and Robert assumed Maureen must have loaned it to her for the evening.
“Well, yes… uh, well,” stammered Robert. Lily’s dress felt like a slap across the back of his eyeballs. “It is all a bit overwhelming. So what happened to Snow White?”
Melvin returned to the table with four tankards of beer and a glass of wine for Lily, who pulled up a stool.
“Are you sure you want to know?” asked the Humanimal.
“To be honest, no. But I suppose I have to get used to things like this.”
Melvin settled back into his seat, adjusted his glasses so they were still slightly crooked, only at a different slant, and began. “You have to remember that this was a long time ago, long before I was born, before the Agency ever existed, before the Tower. There was no form of policing or security in Thiside. It was very much every man, woman, Humanimal, whatever, for themselves and the population had no trouble taking matters into their own hands. The Dwarves returned to their summer cottage the day after Snow White attempted to steal from the Evil Queen and found the young girl trying to break into their safe. As a rule, most Dwarves are kind and reasonable folk. They’re the kind of people that if you were down on your luck, they’d offer to help you out. But if it ever entered your mind to attempt to steal their gold, they’d rather decapitate you than look at you.”
“They didn’t?” said Robert, mouth agape.
“They take the theft of gold very seriously. She was executed and her body was fed to the animals of the forest.”
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
Lily sighed and took a sip of wine before placing a comforting hand on Robert’s shoulder. “I know it must all be a bit of a shock, but you’ve got to try and forget what you already know. You’re going to find a lot of discrepancies in the stories of Othaside.”
“Didn’t they put her head on a stick and place it outside the cottage to warn other thieves of what would happen if they messed with their gold?” asked Gnick through a mouthful of food.
“Oh god,” said Robert who was beginning to feel queasy.
“Those were darker times,” said General Gnarly nodding.
“You should drink up, Robert,” said Lily, “and we should all get to bed; I want to get an early start in the morning.”
Lily got up and offered her hand to Robert, who thought she was being overly nice considering her hot and cold mood throughout the day.
“Uh, thanks for the food, Melvin,” said Robert.
“Don’t mention it.”
“And for the hospitality.”
“It’s what we do,” grinned Melvin.
“And I’m sorry for the goa―ehh, the comment earlier.”
“Moron,” said Gnick.
“Already forgotten,” said Melvin.
Lily pulled on Robert’s hand and led him up the stairs. The stairs
“There is no Prince Charming.”
“There is no Prince Charming?”
“There’s a very nice Frog Prince who lives in the swamps in the South of Munchkinland,” said Melvin.
“Actually, he’s a King now,” said General Gnarly.
“Really? Good for him.”
“I met him a few years ago, nicest Frog I’ve ever met.”
“Excuse me!” cried Robert. “Can we stay on topic for a minute? What happened to Snow White if there was no Prince Charming?”
“I’ll get us another round of drinks,” said Melvin and headed for the bar.
“Are you okay, moron? You’re looking a bit pale.”
“It’s a lot for him to take in,” said Lily’s silky voice from behind him. “Imagine, General, if you’d grown up believing that Thiside was nothing but make-believe? Just stories in a book and then one day you find out it was all real. But not exactly the way you were told.”
Robert turned around to find Lily standing at the bottom of the stairway. Her hair hung freely around her shoulders and she wore a black nightdress that clung to all the right places, outlining a fiendishly lovely body. The hem had been pinned up to accommodate Lily’s shorter stature and Robert assumed Maureen must have loaned it to her for the evening.
“Well, yes… uh, well,” stammered Robert. Lily’s dress felt like a slap across the back of his eyeballs. “It is all a bit overwhelming. So what happened to Snow White?”
Melvin returned to the table with four tankards of beer and a glass of wine for Lily, who pulled up a stool.
“Are you sure you want to know?” asked the Humanimal.
“To be honest, no. But I suppose I have to get used to things like this.”
Melvin settled back into his seat, adjusted his glasses so they were still slightly crooked, only at a different slant, and began. “You have to remember that this was a long time ago, long before I was born, before the Agency ever existed, before the Tower. There was no form of policing or security in Thiside. It was very much every man, woman, Humanimal, whatever, for themselves and the population had no trouble taking matters into their own hands. The Dwarves returned to their summer cottage the day after Snow White attempted to steal from the Evil Queen and found the young girl trying to break into their safe. As a rule, most Dwarves are kind and reasonable folk. They’re the kind of people that if you were down on your luck, they’d offer to help you out. But if it ever entered your mind to attempt to steal their gold, they’d rather decapitate you than look at you.”
“They didn’t?” said Robert, mouth agape.
“They take the theft of gold very seriously. She was executed and her body was fed to the animals of the forest.”
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
Lily sighed and took a sip of wine before placing a comforting hand on Robert’s shoulder. “I know it must all be a bit of a shock, but you’ve got to try and forget what you already know. You’re going to find a lot of discrepancies in the stories of Othaside.”
“Didn’t they put her head on a stick and place it outside the cottage to warn other thieves of what would happen if they messed with their gold?” asked Gnick through a mouthful of food.
“Oh god,” said Robert who was beginning to feel queasy.
“Those were darker times,” said General Gnarly nodding.
“You should drink up, Robert,” said Lily, “and we should all get to bed; I want to get an early start in the morning.”
Lily got up and offered her hand to Robert, who thought she was being overly nice considering her hot and cold mood throughout the day.
“Uh, thanks for the food, Melvin,” said Robert.
“Don’t mention it.”
“And for the hospitality.”
“It’s what we do,” grinned Melvin.
“And I’m sorry for the goa―ehh, the comment earlier.”
“Moron,” said Gnick.
“Already forgotten,” said Melvin.
Lily pulled on Robert’s hand and led him up the stairs. The stairs
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