I had never seen any evidence that he was a cheater. He had specifically said that he was single when he was home for Christmas. Maybe he was loyal, but he just drove women away. When I thought of what a jerk he had been to me when we had lived together, that explanation wouldn't have surprised me at all.
My phone chirped. I pulled it out of my purse and looked at it. It was Nicole, my roommate at college.
––––––––
A re you coming home tonight?
––––––––
S he was probably planning on having a boy over tonight. I hated it when she brought boys over, but the boys loved the California girl with the curly blonde hair. Still, I hated that they always left the seat up and ate all my chips. But, it would be really rude of me to lie. I sent back a text.
––––––––
N o, I'll be gone for the night.
––––––––
I waited for a response, but none came. She was probably already making out with whatever guy she had picked up for the night. I started messing around with my phone, looking at stuff on myFace, doing whatever I could to stop from thinking of James. Stop from thinking of what our future could look like.
It was funny. Part of me thought that as soon as he fucked me or rejected me that I would get this out of my system. That one time was all I needed. Like I could have him once, and it would just wash the need right out of my system. I wished that it could be that easy, that I could get on the train back to my college and forget that tonight had ever happened. That I could forget how much I ached for him to touch me. The thrill I got off just his fingertips on my skin. He was a drug, and now I was hooked.
I knew that I couldn't go back to the way things were, at least for the moment. I thought of his eyes when dilating when he looked at me and I knew I didn't want to, but I needed something to keep me distracted until I could get my next fix of him again. I ran across a picture of Tessa. She had been the one who had convinced me to tell James how I felt about him. I doubted that she could have predicted that I would travel to Boston, demand that he fuck me, and possibly already be carrying his baby. I sighed to myself, then texted her.
––––––––
H ey. What are you up to tonight?
––––––––
I knew that whatever it was, it wouldn't be much. She was stuck in Springfield at community college while I was out exploring the great big world. I felt pretty guilty about it, but I felt even more guilty about the fact that I hadn't kept in touch with her when I went to college. My phone chirped with her response.
––––––––
H ey girl! Nothing much, just cleaning up and getting ready to head home. You?
––––––––
I didn't know how to respond, so I just lied.
––––––––
S ame.
––––––––
I immediately felt like an idiot. She knew I didn't have a job so there was nothing I could really be cleaning up, except for my dorm room. Still, she probably wouldn't call me out on it. My phone chirped.
Oh, ok. Enjoying that New York City night life?
––––––––
I laughed. This next text wouldn't be a lie.
––––––––
N ot tonight.
––––––––
H er next text caught me by surprise.
––––––––
D id you confess your love to James yet?
––––––––
T hat was Tessa, always blunt and to the point. I didn't love him, I just wanted to fuck him. I knew that. I knew it. I didn't know how to answer her, though. Should I just lie to her? Should I tell her that it was none of her business. Should I tell her everything?
I fiddled with my phone while I decided, but apparently it was too long for Tessa to wait. Her face popped up and my ring tone went off. I sighed, thinking that the easiest thing for me to do would be to just hang up. That would be so rude, though, and it would just make things worse. She knew I was right here, we were
My phone chirped. I pulled it out of my purse and looked at it. It was Nicole, my roommate at college.
––––––––
A re you coming home tonight?
––––––––
S he was probably planning on having a boy over tonight. I hated it when she brought boys over, but the boys loved the California girl with the curly blonde hair. Still, I hated that they always left the seat up and ate all my chips. But, it would be really rude of me to lie. I sent back a text.
––––––––
N o, I'll be gone for the night.
––––––––
I waited for a response, but none came. She was probably already making out with whatever guy she had picked up for the night. I started messing around with my phone, looking at stuff on myFace, doing whatever I could to stop from thinking of James. Stop from thinking of what our future could look like.
It was funny. Part of me thought that as soon as he fucked me or rejected me that I would get this out of my system. That one time was all I needed. Like I could have him once, and it would just wash the need right out of my system. I wished that it could be that easy, that I could get on the train back to my college and forget that tonight had ever happened. That I could forget how much I ached for him to touch me. The thrill I got off just his fingertips on my skin. He was a drug, and now I was hooked.
I knew that I couldn't go back to the way things were, at least for the moment. I thought of his eyes when dilating when he looked at me and I knew I didn't want to, but I needed something to keep me distracted until I could get my next fix of him again. I ran across a picture of Tessa. She had been the one who had convinced me to tell James how I felt about him. I doubted that she could have predicted that I would travel to Boston, demand that he fuck me, and possibly already be carrying his baby. I sighed to myself, then texted her.
––––––––
H ey. What are you up to tonight?
––––––––
I knew that whatever it was, it wouldn't be much. She was stuck in Springfield at community college while I was out exploring the great big world. I felt pretty guilty about it, but I felt even more guilty about the fact that I hadn't kept in touch with her when I went to college. My phone chirped with her response.
––––––––
H ey girl! Nothing much, just cleaning up and getting ready to head home. You?
––––––––
I didn't know how to respond, so I just lied.
––––––––
S ame.
––––––––
I immediately felt like an idiot. She knew I didn't have a job so there was nothing I could really be cleaning up, except for my dorm room. Still, she probably wouldn't call me out on it. My phone chirped.
Oh, ok. Enjoying that New York City night life?
––––––––
I laughed. This next text wouldn't be a lie.
––––––––
N ot tonight.
––––––––
H er next text caught me by surprise.
––––––––
D id you confess your love to James yet?
––––––––
T hat was Tessa, always blunt and to the point. I didn't love him, I just wanted to fuck him. I knew that. I knew it. I didn't know how to answer her, though. Should I just lie to her? Should I tell her that it was none of her business. Should I tell her everything?
I fiddled with my phone while I decided, but apparently it was too long for Tessa to wait. Her face popped up and my ring tone went off. I sighed, thinking that the easiest thing for me to do would be to just hang up. That would be so rude, though, and it would just make things worse. She knew I was right here, we were
Similar Books
