himself. And Lucy was playing his girlfriend, and the fact that the
two of them had a history I knew nothing about made it that much worse.
Lucy was leaning into Cole now, tilting
her head up to look at him as his hands encircled her tiny waist.
“Whisper something in her ear, Cole,” the
photographer instructed.
Cole whispered something to Lucy and she
laughed hard, throwing her head back like it was the funniest thing she’d ever
heard. A hint of a smile tugged at
Cole’s lips, like he was pleased with himself for having made her laugh.
I looked away, because it was making me
slightly nauseous, seeing the two of them like that.
Kalia was standing next to me, and I saw
the same look on her face – she was jealous too.
And that was the problem. Cole could have any woman he
wanted. He’d had any woman he wanted – Kalia, Lucy, and now me. It was stupid to think he would ever choose
me over them (or the thousands of other beautiful women in New York), even if
we had grown up together, even if we
did have a history.
I forced myself to look back at him.
My realization about how I could never
have him, not all of him, not in the way I wanted, did nothing to diminish my
attraction to him. He was just as
beautiful as ever.
Cole’s eyes locked on mine, and I sucked
in a breath. Electricity pulsed
between us. How could you? I wanted to scream. How could you hold her
like this, right in front of me, after what we did last night? How could you fail to mention you’d had
a fiancé?
.For a moment, I thought I saw something
pass over his face, some kind of regret or hesitation. And then he looked away and leaned back
into Lucy, turned her chin toward his the way he’d done to me just a few
moments ago in his car.
A look of contentment came over her face
as the two of them stared at each other, their lips just inches apart, the
chemistry between them shining so bright it was almost visible.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I backed away slowly, moving toward the
exit.
No one noticed – they were all
transfixed on what was going on between Cole and Lucy. I stepped into the elevator and took it
all the way down to the lobby.
I was leaving.
Not just the building.
But New York.
***
I didn’t belong here.
The city, which earlier had seemed alive
and full of possibility, now suddenly felt cold and unwavering, the kind of
harsh place that would chew you up and spit you out.
I wasn’t meant to be here.
The only reason I even was here was because of Cole. And he didn’t care about me. All he cared about was himself.
Otherwise, he would tell me what was
going on. He wouldn’t hide things
from me and then sneak into my bed, all the while telling me it was wrong before
doing it all over again.
He kept saying he needed to protect
me. When the truth of the matter
was, all he cared about was protecting himself.
I’d made it two blocks when I heard him
calling after me.
“Avery!”
Don’t
turn around, I told
myself. Don’t turn around and let him see how upset you are.
“Avery!” His hand was on my arm then, forcing me to turn around.
“Don’t touch me!” I said, wrenching out
of his grasp.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he
asked. “Why did you just run out
like that?”
“I’m going home,” I said.
His eyes narrowed. “No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.” I turned away from him again, but this time he grabbed me
around the waist with one hand, pulled me into a coffee shop and herded me over
to an empty corner.
“Okay,” he said, his tone measured, like
he was talking to a mental patient and needed to tread lightly. “Now will you please tell me why you’re
acting insane?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were
engaged?” I blurted. I hadn’t wanted to ask him, hadn’t
wanted him to know that I even cared.
“Who told you that?” he demanded.
“Lucy. I ran into her in the
two of them had a history I knew nothing about made it that much worse.
Lucy was leaning into Cole now, tilting
her head up to look at him as his hands encircled her tiny waist.
“Whisper something in her ear, Cole,” the
photographer instructed.
Cole whispered something to Lucy and she
laughed hard, throwing her head back like it was the funniest thing she’d ever
heard. A hint of a smile tugged at
Cole’s lips, like he was pleased with himself for having made her laugh.
I looked away, because it was making me
slightly nauseous, seeing the two of them like that.
Kalia was standing next to me, and I saw
the same look on her face – she was jealous too.
And that was the problem. Cole could have any woman he
wanted. He’d had any woman he wanted – Kalia, Lucy, and now me. It was stupid to think he would ever choose
me over them (or the thousands of other beautiful women in New York), even if
we had grown up together, even if we
did have a history.
I forced myself to look back at him.
My realization about how I could never
have him, not all of him, not in the way I wanted, did nothing to diminish my
attraction to him. He was just as
beautiful as ever.
Cole’s eyes locked on mine, and I sucked
in a breath. Electricity pulsed
between us. How could you? I wanted to scream. How could you hold her
like this, right in front of me, after what we did last night? How could you fail to mention you’d had
a fiancé?
.For a moment, I thought I saw something
pass over his face, some kind of regret or hesitation. And then he looked away and leaned back
into Lucy, turned her chin toward his the way he’d done to me just a few
moments ago in his car.
A look of contentment came over her face
as the two of them stared at each other, their lips just inches apart, the
chemistry between them shining so bright it was almost visible.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
I backed away slowly, moving toward the
exit.
No one noticed – they were all
transfixed on what was going on between Cole and Lucy. I stepped into the elevator and took it
all the way down to the lobby.
I was leaving.
Not just the building.
But New York.
***
I didn’t belong here.
The city, which earlier had seemed alive
and full of possibility, now suddenly felt cold and unwavering, the kind of
harsh place that would chew you up and spit you out.
I wasn’t meant to be here.
The only reason I even was here was because of Cole. And he didn’t care about me. All he cared about was himself.
Otherwise, he would tell me what was
going on. He wouldn’t hide things
from me and then sneak into my bed, all the while telling me it was wrong before
doing it all over again.
He kept saying he needed to protect
me. When the truth of the matter
was, all he cared about was protecting himself.
I’d made it two blocks when I heard him
calling after me.
“Avery!”
Don’t
turn around, I told
myself. Don’t turn around and let him see how upset you are.
“Avery!” His hand was on my arm then, forcing me to turn around.
“Don’t touch me!” I said, wrenching out
of his grasp.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” he
asked. “Why did you just run out
like that?”
“I’m going home,” I said.
His eyes narrowed. “No, you’re not.”
“Yes, I am.” I turned away from him again, but this time he grabbed me
around the waist with one hand, pulled me into a coffee shop and herded me over
to an empty corner.
“Okay,” he said, his tone measured, like
he was talking to a mental patient and needed to tread lightly. “Now will you please tell me why you’re
acting insane?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were
engaged?” I blurted. I hadn’t wanted to ask him, hadn’t
wanted him to know that I even cared.
“Who told you that?” he demanded.
“Lucy. I ran into her in the
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